Living on Love - "The Messenger"
a book by Klaus Joehle

All Rights Reserved. Copyright © 2001  by Klaus J. Joehle

ISBN: 1-58348-XXX-X


To My Son,
Who stood by me?
I say this:
Anything and Everything
 Is possible
With Love.


The problem with our children is
That they have so much to teach us
But so little time to do it in.
My problem is it has taken me 15 years to learn that.
Now I fear that
I've missed most of my education.


What it after many years of studying so called ancient wisdom, 
you find yourself stuck? All the information is there but 
nothing seems to be working.

Then one day, out of work and out of money, you come up with a 

You take all the information you learned about meditation,
remote viewing, out of body travel, and so on. You decide to 
mentally travel into the future to see what the results of 
tomorrows sports lottery will be. But just as the money starts 
rolling in you run into your future self.

You ignore him!

So another future self comes to see you, to change the past or 
maybe to change the future.

What if your future self offered you information about Love that 
has been kept secret for centuries? Information that will make 
all your dreams come true. Would you let go of the easy money?

As you take this book home, so you will need to choose also.

Klaus J. Joehle


You are about to embark on a journey most of us only dreamed possible 
in these tiny moments when we dared to dream the seemingly impossible 
Over the last 30 years I read all the books, spent countless hours-
meditating, visualizing, learning to travel out of my body but the 
whole time I felt like I was missing something. Also after a while 
all the books just seemed to be a rehash of the same material. 
Nothing new, at least that seemed to be making any real difference. 
Some time in November of 1995 after getting laid off work and having 
no intention of looking for work, I went to visit a friend of mine 
who at the time was working on his sports bets. We were talking about 
the bets and how much money he wasn't making, when a thought occurred 
to me.
I looked at my friend and suggested that maybe a person could use 
their subconscious mind to see into the future and figure out who was 
going to win the game.  He thought I was nuts and said that there was 
no way to predict the future, and he gave me about 20 reasons why it 
would not work. It's pretty obvious to me that he is a lot more 
thickheaded then I am. But the more I thought about it, the more I 
liked the idea. By the time I got home, I had it more or less worked 
out in my mind. I figured all I needed to do was to find a state of 
mind where the conscious and subconscious come together and worked 
together as one rather than being separate. It sounds simple and it 
was, even though it did take a while to work out the details and 
figure out a plan. I went back to the library and picked up a few 
more books. I played around with it for about a week or two, trying 
different things out. Anyway I took all the information I could find 
and mixed it all up, a little bit from here and a little bit from 
there. The conclusion that I came to was that I needed to be in a 
very deep meditating state, or a trance-like state of mind and then 
travel into the future to see the game results.
It worked and in no time at all I was in the money. I was making 
small bets and winning small amounts at a time. As time went by, I 
tried to get my friend to do the same thing. Figuring that this way 
we could compare answers and do even better, but he was scared and 
refused to have anything to do with it. I kept at him, but to no 
avail. Even though he was not even the least religious he kept saying 
that I might be breaking some cosmic law and may get more then I was 
bargaining for. Well as it turned out there is no such law in the 
universe, but it appears the Universe or All That There Is had its 
own plan. Totally unaware, I was walking right into it.
This is how it started but not how it ended. Even science is 
slowly realizing there is an invisible power we call Love. For 
centuries the word Love has been used to describe feelings and 
emotions but nothing has been said about this incredible power 
source that's responsible for sustaining all that is around us. 
Just imagine the life you could create if you know how to tap into 
this source. Just imagine the difference you could make in this 
world. The fact is that this source lies within all of us, we are 
born with it. For centuries the information has been passed down, 
to only a handful and I really mean only a handful. Trying to win 
the lottery has nothing to do with the information you are about 
to discover other than that it was the motivation that brought me 
to quiet my mind long enough for me to be shown something 
incredible that has been hidden right in front of us.
Sometimes I ask myself if the world is ready for this information? 
The only answer I get is from the many e-mails I have received and 
continue to receive. They are from people that are amazed at how 
incredible this information is and how easy and fast it works. I also 
worried whether or not it could be used wrongly or in a negative way, 
for it seems that some have tried it. Let this be a warning. Love 
Energy, for better wording is a conscious energy and is conscious of 
what you are trying to do. I speculate that this is why it works so 
The story you are about to read is true to the best of my ability to 
write it and the information you will discover in this book to the 
best of my knowledge has never been written about before. Although 
the power of Love is mentioned in many writings nowhere is it 
explained how to use this Love energy to create the life and Love you 
are looking for.
If you're tired of reading the same rehashed material over and over 
and are ready to take the next step then read on. You'll discover a 
little known secret about Love that no one ever imagined possible. If 
you find yourself reading a lot of books or searching for something 
to take you further, then this is the information you have been 
searching for. This is what we all have been searching for. 

All my Love 
Klaus Joehle 


A Controversial Note from the Author

This is my opinion, take what you like and leave the rest. 
It seems for as long as we have been on this planet we have found a 
way to destroy ourselves. We go to war and kill others by the 
thousands. We attack those who seem weaker than us and take what they 
have. We will, and have killed others for what we want and have even 
been killed in the attempt. Half the world seems to be reasonably at 
peace while the other half is raging in war. Even when we try to help 
those that can not defend themselves against an aggressor we end up 
becoming like the aggressor that we are trying to stop. For centuries 
we have been taught that we do not have the power to stop an 
aggressor other than by fighting and killing. It has become a vicious 
circle they're are those who desperately try to live in peace only to 
be attacked at sometime for what they have. We walk in fear of what 
others might do to us. We lock our doors lock our cars, install 
security alarms and all to no avail. There is another way. Here is an 
The people that lived in my home before me were broken into and 
robbed five times in seven years. Five times their home was 
vandalized and their things taken from them. On the other hand I have 
lived here in peace and for a long time, even though my neighbor did 
not. I have no alarms; my doors and windows are never locked. My 
vehicles are not locked and my garage door is always open with all 
the tools just sitting there. OK maybe sitting under the rubble. Even 
when we go away everything stays unlocked and when we return not even 
a blade of grass has been disturbed. I have not even seen the keys 
for this house since I moved in. Most would agree that this is being 
foolish and just waiting for trouble. Normally I would agree but you 
have not seen the information in this book in action, nor what it is 
capable of.
At one time I was convinced like many others that God just placed us 
here and gave us no power to create heaven on earth. But in time I 
realized that it did not make sense. At the same time I did not know 
where the power was or how to access it. 
To believe that God made us powerless to create heaven on earth and 
to believe that we are part of God and left powerless to stop those 
who want to destroy everything in their path, that's silly and there 
is no truth to it. The truth is we have the power to stop this and it 
lies inside of us waiting to be activated. The power that I'm 
speaking of is Love and we do not need to hurt those that would hurt 
us in order to stop them. 
Don't let the word Love, nor the way it has been described fool you, 
that is exactly how it has been hidden from us. I am amazed how the 
word Love has been worked over to make a mountain look like a pimple. 
Most people would agree that Love is one of the most powerful forces 
in the universe but that is as far as it goes. We have been taught 
and in many ways have taught ourselves that Love is a feeling and an 
unattainable force but that is not true. There is much more to Love 
and what we can do with it. The best way to hide something is to make 
it look like nothing, silly and wishy - washy.   The universe and all 
that you see is not a closed system nor is it a self-sustaining. It 
needs an outside source of energy and that is what we call Love. 
Think about it, whatever you believe created all of this also created 
us and in doing so also gave us the power to create heaven on earth. 
Does that not make sense?
Allot of people are scared of what tomorrow will bring for themselves 
and for their children.
I can't blame them but after you read this book you will agree that 
the only thing that's really scary is not having this information and 
to not be able to give it to our children.
I have learned to meditate and all kinds of wonderful things have 
come from our spiritual scientists from the east and Tibet. What 
always bothered me was the fact that after 500 years of meditating, 
Tibetans had to flee their country and leave their people to be 
enslaved, tortured and killed. I'm not trying to put them down I'm 
saying that something was missing along the way they and all of us 
missed something that could of at least kept us safe. If you can not 
keep yourself and your children safe while making the world a better 
place to live in, then there is something missing. Something is wrong 
with that picture. We are all waiting for God to come and straighten 
it all out, the fact is he gave us free will and he gave us the power 
to do it ourselves without hurting anyone or causing anyone harm. I 
know that saying this is a big statement but the proof is there, from 
the countless e-mail I get from people who have witnessed this same 
miracle, as I have. 
I am not religious other than that I believe in something larger and 
more loving than myself.
When I was younger I was sent to Sunday school like most of you but I 
felt that there was something not complete. It's like this. When 
Jesus said to turn the other cheek something was left out. That 
something was send and fill them with Love because that will stop 
them in their tracks, and of course the instructions on how to send 
Love in a way that is affective. If turning the other cheek works so 
well on its own then when they robbed your store or robbed your house 
then why not give them more then what they were looking for? If it 
works so well why are churches locked? The point of turning the other 
cheek was to not hit back but there was a piece of information 
missing. How to work with Love and how to activate this incredible 
power source to not only protect yourself but to also change the very 
person that is threatening you or your life and to live the life you 
want without fear.  
If you were in a place with no surface water and you had never seen a 
drilling rig then even if we all agreed that there is water we would 
still die of thirst. For if we do not know what a drilling rig is or 
how to use the rig, it would just sit there just like the Love inside 
of us. If Love is the most powerful force we know of. And if we can 
use it to change our lives, create the things we want, happiness, 
safety, Love, joy and so on, It is of no use if we do not know how to 
access it or where to get it.  
If I was talking of anything other then Love it would scare me but 
Love has a consciousness of its own and will not do any harm. As you 
read on you will come to discover this for yourself and you will be 
amazed beyond words.
The information I write in this book you will not find anywhere else, 
but that will change quickly. When I first wrote this book I placed 
it onto a web page to see if people were interested and to see if it 
was understandable, for some things are hard to express in words. The 
response was over whelming. People wrote in saying this is the 
missing piece and they were amazed at the results. Thank You for all 
your support. 
If you consider yourself what some call a light worker, or healer, or 
if your are at least trying to be one of these, this is the 
information you have been looking for. This is the information that 
will take you to your next step. 
To the Tibetans I apologize if the example I made offends you but it 
is time to know how to release the Love energy this world so 
desperately needs. 
This is for the two Tibetans who are of the few that know of this 
information and have held onto it tight. The time is now, one way or 
another it is time for people to know what loving power lies within 
them and it is time to release it.
It is time for people to be able to live in peace and without fear 
and to be able to create the life they want. It is fine what you have 
accomplished, that you have lived for a long time, and that you do 
not need to eat or drink water. That you at will can be invisible to 
the naked eye. But you have forgotten what it is like for those who 
have been convinced that they are powerless and are living under the 
fists of others. You may have had your reasons but in my mind and 
from what I have seen going on in the world they were not good enough 
to keep this to yourselves. That is where we bang heads and will 
continue to do so. But then you knew this was coming. I live well I 
live safe but it is time for others to be able to do so also.  
For those that believe in a God, he gave you the power to create 
heaven on earth and if you use it he will come or perhaps in a second 
he/she will already be here. Think about this. Do you do everything 
for your children or do you give them the skills and abilities to do 
it themselves?  If you are going to let this information go because 
it came from a nobody like myself instead of a high priest well 
that's up to you. You have the God given right and abilities to 
create the world that God wanted. 
Take what you like and leave the rest for someone that will Love it. 
As it should be.
For those that have and continue to write me, I apologize that you 
will most likely receive only short notes back, because there is too 
much and too little time. All the information is here in this book. 
How I found the information, how to work with it, what to expect, and 
some of my own experiences. That is all I have to give you other than 
my Love. Take the information and run with it. In two years you will 
look back and be amazed at what you have accomplished. We will all 
be. In the next few pages I will try to answer some of the most asked 
questions. I hope that this will help?
All my Love to you on your journey!
Klaus J Joehle  

To my sweetheart and wife
Who helped so much 
Roberta Joehle 

Lets fall in Love 
Every moment, day, night, week, year
All my love


Editorial Method

Spelling and Grammar?

Perfect spelling has never fed a hungry child.
Perfect grammar has never mended a broken heart
A finely pressed suit only hides the glow of love that is 
A lack of love is the only imperfection I know
So get over it
The need for Perfect spelling and perfect grammar
Is boring, time consuming elusions that hide what is truly 
Thirty to fifty hours more editing would have made this perfect.
 But instead it fed some starving children.
So I hope that each word and each sentence of imperfection
Reminds you of what's really important.

I did pay to have this book edited once and upon its return 
there were still many errors.
After its return my wife took over and after many long hours of 
editing and re-editing
She gave into one healthy fact of life
Nothing is Perfect
Or maybe it is 
My wife believes everything is perfect in it's own special way…


For centuries certain information about Love and the amount of 
power it gives you has been kept secret and hidden.  That's all 
about to change.  If you want to create the life you have 
dreamed about than read on. 

In all honesty the last thing I wanted to do was become a 
writer, especially writing about Love.  If it weren't for the 
amount of power and ability that Love gave me to create the life 
I wanted… I wouldn't even consider it.  Using Love I have found 
that I can virtually instantly create everything I want.  Using 
Love I have gained so much ability and power to create what I 
desire, that if it wasn't Love that I was using then it would 
almost be scary.  My life has turned into a fairy tale and is 
beyond anything I have ever hoped possible for myself. I know 
that this sounds like a big statement to make.  But it's quite 
true. Even my sweetheart who was open minded but also skeptical 
had little choice but to believe, because the Magic is an every 
day thing almost beyond words.  The amount of personal power 
that Love gives you, not to control others but to create your 
life and your experiences is overwhelming. The beautiful thing 
about it is that it also seems always to work out the best for 
everyone in the end.  After all if it wasn't all that great then 
it wouldn't have been kept a secret.   
Working and creating with Love is very easy, there is a little 
knack to it, but extremely easy to learn.  The list of what you 
can do with Love or perhaps I could say Love energy is endless.  
I could give you several hundred examples.  You'll find quite a 
few examples in this book Living on Love "The Messenger" .  My 
favorite saying is Take what you like and leave the rest for 
someone that might Love it.  The choice is yours.   
All our Love to you on your journey and choices. 

Klaus J. Joehle 

Chapter One

It was early winter. Usually at this time of the year it is quite 
cold, but this year was warm, almost like summer. It was a very 
cloudy day, and it looked like it was going to rain.
I was at home trying to write this book, but I just could not 
figure out how to tell this story. I am not a writer and have 
never written a thing before. I tried for several hours to write, 
and even though I had made some rough outlines and notes of things 
that had happened, I still could not get any further than the 
first pages. I couldn't find the words to explain what had gone on 
two years ago that changed my life forever.   Finally I gave up 
and decided to drive downtown to run some errands. 
I parked my car in a place I knew I could leave it all afternoon 
without having to pay for parking or get a ticket, and walked to 
the various places I wanted to go.  After I had done my running 
around, I decided to stop and see a friend of mine named Henry, 
and ask if he wanted to go for a drink. 
It doesn't take much to twist Henry's arm and we were at the bar 
in no time at all. It's a small quiet bar called Hy's. After we 
were there for several hours I decided it was time to go home. 
When I stepped outside it was pouring rain which is very unusual 
for this time of year…not to mention that it very seldom rains 
this hard here in Calgary.
I knew I was going to get soaked so I quickly ran from one 
sheltered spot to another, not that it helped; it's just one of 
those weird things we do even though logically it makes no sense. 
It was already dark and with the rain it was hard to see. I was 
standing under a small shelter trying to get my bearings. As I 
looked around I realized I was standing on a small deck covered 
with a roof, almost like a house verandah. A small sign for 
Neena's Bar flashed in the window.
I didn't remember ever seeing this place before. The whole place 
was maybe only 15 feet wide. It almost looked like it had squeezed 
itself right between two giant brick buildings. 
I stepped inside. Looking around, I saw that there seemed to be 
only two people in the place other than the bartender. To the 
right there was a very small bar about ten feet long. A woman with 
long curly blond hair was sitting at the bar, talking to the 
bartender.  To the left one man wearing a hat was sitting at a 
table. I walked over to the bar and sat down one stool from the 
blond woman.
As I sat down, she turned and said, "Is it still raining outside?"
"Yes, harder then ever," I answered.  A shiver went up my spine.
"What can I get you?" the bartender asked.
"Scotch and rocks."
I looked at my wet pants and thought that I should have stopped 
somewhere else. Hot chocolate would have been nice. As I glanced 
around I wondered why I had come in here. The place felt eerie.
"Get him the good stuff, Danny." The blond woman interrupted my 
"Okay," said the bartender.
With a sheepish grin, I thought, this is going to cost me.
"Don't worry about it, it's on the house," said the blond woman as 
if she heard my thoughts.
"Thanks," I said, pleasantly surprised.  And briefly glancing at 
her, I thought I could count with one hand the amount of times 
I've heard that statement. 
She was very beautiful, with long curly blond hair that looked 
like it was as soft as silk. I shyly glanced away and continued 
looking around at the surroundings, thinking this place feels 
strange but homey and safe at the same time.   
The bartender put the glass of Scotch in front of me with no ice 
in it. I was going to say something, but he was still holding onto 
the glass.
"We don't have hot chocolate, but I can heat this up for you!" he 
said quickly.
"Hot Scotch, never heard of it!" I frowned at him.
"It's quite good, try it," said the blond woman.   
"Well, why not?" I was always willing to try something new.
My hair was wet and the water was dripping down my face. I was 
just going to ask where the washroom was when the bartender handed 
me a towel.
I wiped my hair and face and as I put down the towel, I noticed 
out of the corner of my eye that the blond woman had moved to the 
chair next to me.  That made me a bit nervous. I didn't look at 
her, but watched the bartender heat up my Scotch and waited for 
him to bring it back.  The bar was ghostly quiet; no music was 
playing, no radio, not a sound, which is very unusual. This had 
the makings of another weird night. I thought to myself.  
The bartender put down my glass of hot scotch in front of me and 
stood back waiting. I lifted the glass knowing that there were 
four eyes staring at me, and I took a sip. 
I turned towards the blond woman. "Boy, it evaporates before it 
even hits your stomach! It's quite good, thank you."
We made eye contact about the same time that she smiled, and that 
was a mistake.  Her eyes were like a calm ocean reflecting the 
moon and all the stars.  I looked away, embarrassed. Danny was 
standing a few feet away washing some glasses. I sat in silence, 
staring forward and warming my hands on my glass of hot scotch. 
The quiet caused my mind to go back to my book. Maybe I should 
take a course, I thought to myself, or better yet, maybe I should 
forget the whole thing. That thought gave me a temporary feeling 
of relief.
"By the way, my name is Neena." The blond woman smiled.
I almost spilled my scotch. I tend to be a deep thinker and need 
to be brought back gently.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." Neena held out her hand.
"It's okay, I'm Klaus."
"Nice to meet you, Klaus.  This good looking gentleman behind the 
bar is Danny."
"So why the big frown?"
"I didn't realize I was frowning"
"Girl friend problems?"
"No," I sipped my warm scotch.  
"You might as well tell her, she won't quit until you do." Danny 
grinned from behind the bar.
"It's a long story," I said, shaking my head.
Neena leaned forward and gave me one of those 'we've got all 
night' looks. I nervously took another big sip of my scotch. 
"Bring Klaus another one, Danny," said Neena.
"Actually, I really should go home," I said out loud, while 
another part of me said more please!  There definitely is a lush 
in there somewhere.
Danny paid no attention to what I said and began pouring another 
"Come on, spill your guts, Klaus! Let's have it," Neena demanded, 
almost putting her face in mine to get me to make eye contact.
Part of me said, look at her, you big chicken.
"Klaus!" said Neena loudly.
I felt a fist hit my arm, interrupting my inner thoughts.   
"What?" I was a little annoyed at being punched by a stranger.
"Come on, out with it!" she commanded.
Looking at her eyes, I wondered how many swords had been drawn to 
fight over those eyes. My lips began to move even ahead of my 
thoughts. I hate it when that happens.
"I'm trying to write a book about something that happened a while 
back, but I have no idea how to write it or even where to begin. 
It's way over my head," I said vowing to myself never to look in 
those eyes again.
"What's it about?" she asked, as Danny put my drink in front of 
"It's about angels, sort of more about Love, I guess; about life, 
the reason for living, mostly about Love, I think..." I wished I 
had stopped somewhere else.
"Now that's interesting.  So what happened?"  Neena was definitely 
very persistent.
I shook my head. "It's a long story, and it's really bizarre."
Danny laughed. "If you make it out of here without telling her 
this story, that will be bizarre."
I shook my head again. "I wouldn't even know where to start."
I thought about it for a minute because in some way, I was itching 
to tell somebody.  Considering that I would probably never see 
these people again, this was probably the perfect opportunity, but 
where would I start?
"Start at the very beginning," Neena brought me back from my 
Danny was leaning forward and ready to listen.  He was obviously 
enjoying this.
"I have to tell you, it's a very strange story," I said.
"We're all ears." Neena was gleaming from her victory.
I can see that, I thought to myself.
"Give me a moment to collect my thoughts," I said.


What is imagination?
What is reality?
What is truth?
Is reality what we imagine?
Or is that
Which we imagine
Then what is truth?

Chapter Two

"Does a story really have a beginning or even have an end? Where 
does it begin and where does it end?  Does it begin at the start 
of a trip, the end of a trip..."
I stopped for a second to see if they were still with me.
"Or does it start when we made certain decisions which lead us to 
the path that led to the start of the story?  Or does a story 
start when we leave for the journey, or when we start packing, or 
when we make the plans?  And when does it end?  If a story has 
changed us, does it end when we stop talking about it? And what is 
the important part? All the decisions that were made or the paths 
that were followed, a story is like the point where four roads 
meet? Let's face it … there is no beginning and no end."
If you ever want to get rid of someone, just give them a line like will blow them away like dry leaves in the summer wind.  
I was looking at both of them, trying to hold back the smile that 
was building in me from the anticipation of watching them blow in 
the wind.
"I agree totally," said Danny. Neena nodded her head in agreement.
"It's sort of like truth. What is truth? Sometimes truth can be 
really puzzling," answered Neena.  Obviously she was not blowing 
in the wind.
"What do you mean?" I asked, quite surprised that this might turn 
into a conversation.
"For instance, "she said, "ten people watch an accident happen. 
There are ten versions of what had happened and the only thing we 
know for sure is that there are several cars smashed.  And then 
there is the question when did it really happen? Did it start when 
one car went out of control or did it start when the drivers got 
into their cars? They say our thoughts create our reality, and if 
that's so, then when did this accident really start?"   
Danny and I both nodded our heads in agreement.
"Take that wallpaper over there," Danny noted. "We all see it, but 
is it the truth? What we see are colors and stripes; what we don't 
see are the people that work at the factories, making this paper, 
their fears, and their dreams. Nor do we see the trees that the 
paper came from and the people that built the wall, hoping to be 
able to feed their families, nor the owner hoping to make enough 
money to pay for all of this.  All we see is colors and stripes.  
But that's not really the truth."
During the silence that followed, I took another sip of my scotch. 
I don't know why, but a dream I've had since I was a small child 
came to my mind. I was thinking about it when Neena interrupted my 
"There's that frown again." Neena nudged me with her elbow.  I 
must have been feeling safe because my lips started to speak again 
without my total consent.
"I was just thinking of a dream I had when I was a kid. I believed 
that the world could be one big garden. You know what I mean, 
cities built in and around gardens, where everybody is happy, 
playing, planting fruit trees, flowers, berry bushes, and picking 
fruit.  Playing with the wild life, animals like deer and rabbits 
and foxes running around not afraid of humans but drawn to them. 
People not afraid of people.  Everyone caring for each other 
instead of beating each other down."   I gestured with my hands. 
"Just a stupid dream, like anybody will ever see that happen, 
we're too busy blowing everything up and trying to make more money 
than our neighbors..."
"You never know!" Danny reached under the bar and brought out a 
strange green bottle. I saw it had a cork in it but no label.   
"I've been saving this for a special occasion," Danny said with a 
strange gleam in his eye.
I looked at the bottle. "Where did you get that from, a pirate 
Danny set down three glasses in a row and smiled. "No, not quite."
"It looks old," I said, as Danny tried to pull the cork.
"It is." Neena answered.  "Very old!"
"What is it?"
They looked at each other for a moment, and Danny started to pour.
I shrugged my shoulders. "Okay then, what's the special occasion?"
I don't know if it was the scotch or the company, but I felt at 
ease and safe, even though they didn't answer my question. There 
was only enough in the bottle to fill three glasses half full. 
Danny put the empty bottle back under the bar and handed each of 
us a glass. It was thick and a dark blood-red color.  I held it to 
my nose. It smelled sweet but had no scent of alcohol.
"It doesn't have any alcohol," Neena said.
I smiled.  "What will we drink to?"
"To dreams. May they be beautiful and come true." Neena raised her 
"Here, here!" Danny sounded like a pirate.
It was incredible. It tasted like berries, sweet and thick, but I 
could not tell what kind of berry it was made of.  My taste buds 
just came alive.  I took another sip and another, and slipped into 
a world of my own. It felt like every cell in my body had sprung 
to life. The lush in me took over and by the time Neena said "you 
might want to take it slow!" it was too late.  I was already 
sucking up the last drop and looking for more. 
By the time I put down my glass both of them were laughing very 
hard. Looking at the other glasses I realized that they had only 
sipped theirs. It must have been the way I looked at Neena's glass 
that made her move it further away from my reach.  I had no choice 
but to laugh with them.  My mind was as clear as a bell.  I also 
felt very energized. 
"Wow! That's good stuff! I'll take a case..."
They were still laughing.
"Man, I feel like I could hog tie a dinosaur."
I'm pretty sure I had a grin on my face that would have been the 
envy of any clown.
Neena put her hand on mine. "So now that you know we're not going 
to ridicule you, maybe you would like to tell us this story about 
angels and Love."
"All right," I said, "fair's fair."
"Start from the beginning and don't leave anything out." she said.   
"Just let me get my bearings," I slid my empty Scotch glass 
towards Danny so he could refresh it.

Just the way it is

The world is one big bowl of soup
Spinning around
And if peas and carrots
don't like each other
That's too bad.
Because they're sure going
to see a lot of each other
And nobody is leaving until
We are all nice and tender 
That's just the way it is

Chapter Three

As Danny finished pouring my drink, I collected my thoughts.  I 
reached in my coat pocket for my cigarettes. I glanced around to 
see if the gentleman was still sitting at his table. It looked 
like he had not moved an inch, rather odd especially since he 
hadn't been served the whole time I was there, and that had been 
almost an hour.
Danny put my drink in front of me while I took a drag of my 
"So, Klaus," Danny had a smirk on his face. "Am I pronouncing your 
name right?"
"Close enough." I stirred the ice in my glass.
"I figured you might want a cold one this time." Danny was still 
"Your instincts were right. Thank you!" I grinned back.
"So how about that story?"
"I spent most of my life, except for the last couple of years, 
very unhappily. It's hard to explain but there has been a deep 
inner sadness. Actually a better way to explain it is that there 
seemed to be no happiness in me. Perhaps I should say happiness 
was just missing and no matter what happened, good or bad, it just 
was not there, and I could not do anything about it."
"You see, this is the problem… to really understand what I mean 
you need to know the rest of the story but at the same time I 
can't really tell you the story without telling you this part." I 
shook my head. 
Danny came around the bar to grab a barstool, carried it to where 
he had been standing, and sat down.
"I can see the feelings, Klaus, but I can't hear them," Neena 
"Just thinking about those days makes me feel a little sad," I 
said, in a low voice. 
"Didn't people notice you were sad?" Neena's sympathetic voice was 
trying to help me along.
"That part really doesn't matter," I said.  "But as far as the 
unhappiness goes, I tried all sorts of things over the years.  I 
even watched other people to see what brought them happiness and 
then tried the same things. For instance, I noticed that when 
people purchased a new car they would be really happy…at least for 
a while. Or they'd act happy if they were getting into a 
relationship. There's an endless amount of things people do to be 
happy, and I basically tried them all. It may sound strange but 
none of these things did anything for me. As a matter of fact, a 
lot of the time it made me more miserable than I was before, 
simply because I was waiting for something to happen and nothing 
did. One crazy example comes to mind. I remember buying a new car, 
thinking that this would bring me happiness, but after I bought 
the car, I ended up sitting in it for two or three hours waiting 
for happiness or joy to flow over me like it seems to do for other 
people. But nothing happened. I was not any happier than before I 
bought the car. Yet it appears that this is not the case with 
other people. But I did not stop trying.  I tried many other 
things over the years. I've read hundreds of books of all kinds 
from meditation to mind power, mind control, thinking positive, 
books on Love, books on life, all kinds of self-help books, but 
nothing helped. It was like there was something missing in me. But 
I also noticed that I was not the only one, there were lots of 
other people in much the same situation.  Knowing that I was not 
the only one really didn't help much.  In one way I was determined 
to solve this problem yet in another way I felt hopeless and many 
times gave up.  I also took courses, and joined some self help 
groups. The most interesting of all was when I decided to go for 
therapy. It was a sad time for me, and I was convinced that there 
was something wrong with me.  But after three weeks of spilling my 
guts, I was told that I was fine and most definitely still sane, 
which was good to hear, and I was also told that there was no 
reason to continue with the sessions. All I needed to do was find 
something that I really enjoyed doing, and go for it. It's too bad 
that it was not quite that easy."
I stopped for a moment to light another cigarette when I noticed 
Danny was chuckling to himself.
"So what's so amusing to you about all of this?"
"I have never actually met someone before who would sit in a car 
for two or three hours waiting for happiness to spring up. But I 
salute your determination." Danny gave me a salute and a big grin.
"Then this unhappiness was your driving force?" Neena asked.
"Exactly. Instead of searching for money, fame, Love, career, or 
any of the normal things that people spend their lives trying to 
achieve, all I wanted was to be happy. Another way of saying it 
would be that I wanted to be free of the pain and the grief it was 
causing me."
I fell into deep thought as I watched the smoke curl upwards from 
my cigarette. I thought about some of the things that a lack of 
happiness makes you do and some of the paths that it leads you 
down. There was also something else on my mind and I was trying to 
decide whether or not I should say anything about it, when Neena 
interrupted my thoughts.
"It would be surprising if you had never thought of ending it all, 
or perhaps making an attempt!" she said.
I looked at Neena. Seeing the sparkles in her eyes, I thought 
obviously the universe has brought some of its best players into 
this game and is leaving nothing to chance. It appears that the 
universe knows me better than I was aware of.
I stood up and asked where the washroom was. I wanted a moment to 
collect my thoughts. Danny pointed to a small wooden plank door at 
the end of the bar.
The washroom was not very big, not much bigger than an outhouse 
with no windows and definitely no way to escape, if a person was 
so inclined.  I thought about everything that I had said so far 
and decided to continue.  After all, I had nothing to lose.


Sometimes life is like
A giant poker game
That just goes on and on
And when we get really good at it
Then the universe might throw us a curve
Just to make us think
Maybe it can get even better
And so,
The game goes on.  

Chapter Four 

When I came out of the washroom I saw that the man at the table 
was still there. As I walked back to the bar, I kept my distance 
from him.  One very important rule to remember when playing with 
the universe is that you need to play with respect, and preferably 
show respect; it's not that the universe will get upset at you, 
just that it might deal you a new card, because the universe also 
likes to teach.  One of the things you do not want the universe to 
teach you is how to respect the game, believe me; I've been there 
and done that.
I sat on my barstool and drank the last of my scotch in one 
swallow. As I lit another cigarette I checked to make sure I had 
enough cigarettes to last, because it was going to be a long 
Danny was pouring some orange juice in two glasses and asked if I 
would like the same. I hadn't noticed it before but apparently 
Neena and Danny had finished drinking whatever it was that had 
come out of that little green bottle.
"Yes, please! That's a really good idea." I said.
Danny put one glass of orange juice in front of me and one in 
front of Neena and sat down on his stool. There was a moment of 
"I guess I might as well tell you everything," I said with a 
slight hesitation.  "In all, there were three times that I had 
decided to end it. They weren't really physical attempts, but 
nevertheless it was enough to cause quite the commotion."
"Are you sure you want to me to tell you this part or do you want 
me to skip over it?"
"Did anything interesting happen during those times?" asked Danny.
"Oh, most definitely!" I said, sarcastically. "My life has been 
one big song and dance."
"This should be interesting!" Neena looked at Danny as they both 
chuckled.  I ignored them.
"Well, the first time was quite a few years ago. Things were 
actually not that bad except that I was unhappy. I had everything 
that should make a person happy, but that was not the case. The 
problem that got me so depressed at that time was that I had spent 
several months reading a few books and trying to make a very 
serious attempt at being happy. I had put a lot of effort in it, 
but had zero results.  I felt like it was getting worse rather 
than better, and the straw that finally broke the camel's back 
came one night when I was reading a new book I had just picked up 
earlier that day.  In this book, the person who wrote it described 
meeting some great teacher who taught him various fascinating 
things. What really upset me was that this person had some magical 
teacher come to him out of the blue and teach him all he wanted to 
know, while I have to struggle with my problems on my own. The 
other part that upset me was that he told about certain 
interesting things that he learned but did not give the 
instructions on how to do it. What's the point of telling me these 
things without giving me instructions? A waste of paper and a 
waste of my time." I leaned over towards Neena, and whispered, "My 
attitude at that time had bottomed out a bit."
I shook my head. "I remember it all, really clearly.  I felt that 
the universe had forgotten about me. I was so frustrated and mad 
that I threw the book against the wall, and in my mind I screamed 
that if I didn't get some help right away, tomorrow morning I was 
going to take my car to the mountains and drive it over the cliff. 
I could feel the anger flowing through my veins. In the long run, 
I probably would not have done it but at that moment in my mind 
the decision was made. I figured that as long as I was here the 
universe could ignore me, but when I'm no longer here and standing 
in front of it, it's going to be a lot more difficult to ignore me 
"I don't know how long it was exactly, but I would say that no 
more than five minutes after I had screamed those words in my 
mind, it started.  My inner senses just seemed to spring to life 
and I could feel something very big. It was huge and it seemed to 
be trying to squeeze itself into my apartment but it was just too 
big, and ended up taking up space in the entire apartment block, 
and even that was not enough. I really couldn't see anything, nor 
hear anything, but I could feel it with my whole being, that's the 
only way that I can describe it.  I can't tell you how scared I 
was. I don't think I've ever been that scared. I almost peed my 
"I had a small but open apartment, and from my bed I could see the 
hallway, part of the kitchen, and a large part of my living room, 
All the lights were on because I don't like the dark.  As soon as 
it gets dark, I've always felt like there is something big 
standing behind me, watching me. The dark has scared me for as 
long as I can remember. So I always keep the lights on, I don't 
even like dark corners, who knows what might be lurking in there? 
Within a few seconds, the lights started to flash on and off. It 
was almost musical. I was literally shaking with fear. I could 
feel and sense this presence forming and all of a sudden, I heard 
a voice in my head.  It said, loudly and firmly, "You should know 
"And that was it. The lights stopped blinking and whatever it was 
left.  I was so scared that even though I needed to go to the 
washroom really badly, I did not leave my bed until the next 
morning. Nor did I sleep in my apartment the next night.  The 
weird part was that there was a strange hush that came over the 
entire apartment building and stayed for several weeks.  I heard 
two other people talking in the laundry room several days later, 
and apparently other people in the apartment building had also 
sensed something, but could not explain what it was."
"This whole incident was enough to keep me from whining about my 
circumstances for almost two years. But then it started to wear 
I stopped to take another drink of my orange juice.
"What did you think it was that came to visit you?" Neena asked.
I shook my head. "I don't know, and I really don't want to know! 
Obviously I pissed somebody off, and frankly I just want to leave 
it at that because whoever came to visit was not in a good mood."
"Time passed and things did not improve. Actually, things began to 
deteriorate even more and it was becoming more and more difficult 
for me to fake it. Putting a smile on your face and pretending to 
be happy when you're not uses up an enormous amount of energy. 
Besides, it really scared the heck out of me, but in a strange 
way, I was prepared for the second time, and I was not going to 
just lay there shivering with fear. I planned on putting up a 
fight.  After all, I have a right to be happy. When you're really 
depressed and down you usually don't think straight.   And the 
bottom line is, I asked for help and didn't receive any."
I thought about what I had said for a minute. "Actually, that's 
not totally true," I said with a smirk.
"Oh, so you did get some help, then?" Neena asked.
"Yes. I won a trip to Mexico and while I was there, I met someone 
who could probably have helped me, but there were some strings 
attached and I just was not ready for it.  But on the other hand, 
my path in life would have changed and perhaps I would never have 
had the opportunity to figure out how to win the lottery. And in 
some way that alone was almost worth it.  Also, it might have 
meant that the story that I'm going to tell you would probably not 
have happened and that would be a big loss."   
"Wait a minute! Are you trying to tell me that you figured out how 
to win the lottery?" Danny crossed his arms over his chest as if 
trying to tell me that such a thing was impossible.
"Yes, but we'll get to that later."
"Did you win more than once?" His eyes were as big as watermelons.
"Oh yeah." I pushed my chair away from the bar and stood up. I 
needed to stretch a bit.
"So did you get your butt kicked the second time around?" Neena 
"No, not really. Quite the opposite, Don't you have any music?" I 
said, trying to change the subject. "It's too quiet in here!"
Danny stood up and walked over to a small tape player that was 
sitting on one of the shelves. He inserted a tape and adjusted the 
volume. I don't know what it was but it sounded like some kind of 
new age music that covered the silence nicely.


Home, the next place I rest my soul
The crossroads of life
Where to plant some seeds of faith
Grow some crops of Love
And ponder which path to take next
Before heading Home
To the next crossroads of life
Where to plant some...    

Chapter Five 

I stretched a bit and sat down on my stool, planning on taking a 
break and listening to some music for a bit, but Danny gave me a 
look of impatience and tapped his fingers on the bar.  I took the 
"It was roughly about two years later. Emotionally I was in the 
same place as before, only this time I had lost my job and was 
heading for my first bankruptcy. Losing my job or going into 
bankruptcy wasn't the worst of it. I had been working very hard 
for about one year in a support group and the only results that 
came from all the work was that I made some friends and got to 
whine a bit. Actually I got a few things off my chest but I still 
was not happy."
"So did you try anything else over those two years, other than the 
support group?" Neena asked. 
"I tried lots of different things, but in one way or another it 
almost felt like something was stopping me from finding happiness. 
At that time nothing really made sense. I understand it now but 
back then, it was driving me nuts."
Everyone fell into silence. My mind was caught up in the past.
"I remember now. I was really upset. I was getting mad, you know? 
I was mad at the universe. In a lot of ways I was upset at 
whatever had come and visited me. What right did this thing have 
to scare me half to death but at the same time not really helping, 
just telling me I should know better? How am I supposed know 
better? I was ready for a fight! I was also very tired of life.  
Nothing seemed to work for me and everything I touched seemed to 
turn to dust.  I guess the best way to describe it would be to say 
that without happiness life just becomes an endless night.  There 
was also an enormous deep inner pain that I just couldn't get rid 
of. It's nearly impossible for me to verbally express all the 
feelings and emotions that had at that time. I just couldn't 
understand why something like inner happiness, something that is 
supposed to be very natural would be so difficult for me to get, 
and it was driving me up the wall. I can get very cranky when I 
don't get what I want, especially if I work really hard for it. I 
should mention that I wasn't always totally unhappy. I had happy 
moments but I wasn't satisfied with the amount of happiness I had 
and I wanted more.  Do you understand what I mean? "
Neena looked at me. "Yes, I think I understand."
"Did you really think that you could win with something that's 
perhaps a hundred times your size?" Danny asked.
I shook my head. "Winning is not always important. What is 
important is making the stand. Obviously the stand I was making 
wasn't exactly the right one. I just thought that life had nothing 
to offer me and I wanted to go somewhere else. What has always 
amazed me is that people will fight for rocks, dirt, and 
everything else except for Love and joy.  Those are really the 
things that are worth fighting for. Everything else is nothing 
more than temporary."
Danny nodded in agreement.
"It was about one o'clock in the morning.  I had made my decision 
that in the morning, I would simply drive to the mountains and 
make it look like an accident. But shortly after I made up my 
mind, I started to feel really peaceful. It was something I had 
never felt before. I was just lying there peacefully on my bed.  I 
guess during that time I must have dozed off into a half-sleep and 
half-awake kind of state, and in that trance-like state I had a 
vision. It was as real as anything was, just like I was there 
physically. I was standing in the middle of an art gallery.  I was 
looking around when I noticed that a lot of the pictures that were 
hanging on the walls were actually mine. That's when the fun 
began. I heard a door open and a woman walked in. She was tall and 
slim, with straight blond hair almost down to her shoulders, milky 
white skin, and large eyes. Before I knew it, she was standing 
directly in front of me. She was incredibly beautiful. The only 
way I can say it is to say she was more beautiful than her 
features. You could see the beauty even though it went beyond 
appearance.  We were standing face to face no more than one foot 
She asked, "Are you Klaus?"
"The second she said that, it felt like every cell in my body had 
come to life and was paying attention. It was like I was made up 
of billions and billions of cells and each one had their own 
consciousness and at that very moment each one was paying 
attention. It was the weirdest feeling but at the same time one 
the most beautiful things I have ever experienced. It was like 
every cell in my body was an individual that had a stake in my 
life.  They were almost like little beings, all working together 
to create my physical body so that I can live and experience 
physical life.  I got the impression that everything I do affects 
them and matters to them. I tried to answer her question but I 
couldn't.  There was too much going on in my body, so I just 
nodded my head. She put out her hand and as we shook hands, she 
said, "I would like you to stick around for awhile. It will all 
made sense later."
"Her voice was like listening to a thousand angels. Every cell in 
my body was still paying attention. It was overwhelming. 
Unfortunately, the second she stopped talking it was over, and I 
was back in my bed, wide-awake.  Over the next few months I became 
obsessed with this vision and tried to go there many times, but 
with no success. Not even close." 
"What was it that obsessed you so much about this vision?" Neena 
"I thought that maybe I would meet this person in real life. It 
was a silly idea, but a flicker of hope nevertheless. The hope 
alone kept me going for almost three years, a long three years I 
might add. But I think that was the plan. The universe probably 
figured that if it couldn't scare me into sticking around then 
seducing me might work better.  Obviously it worked at least for a 
"Maybe it was a chemical imbalance in your body. Did you ever 
think of that?" Danny asked.  
"Oh, yeah. I thought about that, and even saw several doctors, but 
the bottom line is that I would rather suffer than be on some kind 
of drugs for the rest of my life.  Most of them have serious side 
effects, and I was also afraid that some of the drugs might cause 
me in some way never to be happy without them.  I also had some 
hope that someday I would find the answer. Drugs are only a 
temporary solution; they do not solve the problem or the issue 
that is really causing the problem in the first place. As far as I 
am concerned happiness and Love should not have anything to do 
with circumstances or experiences or my physical body."
The Last Stand   

"Oh, my, aren't we the stubborn one?
Oh yes we are.
The universe you would stand against,
A thousand warriors, swords of steel drawn,
Five hundred heavy horses,
Against them you would stand with your dagger of straw
I have been a warrior forever and a day
And I do not know everything,
But this I know:
The blood will run this day
It will be yours my friend
And also mine.
For with honor I must stay.
So I ask you
Is this a good day to die?  

Chapter Six

"I'm pretty sure that it was close to three years later. It was 
early in the evening. I had gone out for dinner but couldn't eat. 
I was totally down and depressed, basically in tears. I got into 
my car and started driving. I was so numb and exhausted that I 
just headed down the highway towards the mountains. For some 
reason the feeling or knowing that within one or two hours it 
would all be over gave me a sense of relief."
"That's the problem with suicide: people think it's a way out, but 
actually it just starts the whole process again," Neena observed.
"I agree. But when you're down far enough, nothing matters 
anymore, other than to be free of that darkness even for a short 
while. I would have given anything just to be happy for a week. 
That's just the way it was." 

Neena nodded her head sympathetically.
"Somewhere along the way you must have changed your mind, 
otherwise you wouldn't be here today," said Danny.
I don't know why, but for some reason Danny's upper lip was 
quivering. I thought that was rather amusing.
"Actually, I didn't change my mind. It's like this. About 30 
minutes out of Calgary there used to be a gas station. I had 
plenty of gas in my car, but for some strange reason, as soon as I 
passed that gas station my engine sputtered and jerked. It would 
barely drive five miles an hour. It was like someone was turning 
the motor on and off really fast. I looked at my gas gauge and 
there was plenty of gas. Also it was a new car.  I decided to 
cross the highway and head back to the gas station, figuring that 
maybe there was something wrong with the electronic ignition. But 
as soon as I got near the gas station, the car started to run 
perfectly.  There was no point in trying to repair it, I thought, 
as long it would make the trip.  After that, it really doesn't 
matter anymore. So I decided to cross the highway again in order 
to head back to the mountains."
"I had to drive about a mile down the highway before I found a 
place to cross over. I was in such a bad mood that I didn't even 
care if I had to push the car there.  I crossed the highway and 
headed back towards the mountains. But as soon as I reached the 
gas station again the car began to sputter and jerk! I tried 
shifting the gears, turning the lights and the ignition on and 
off, but nothing seemed to help. The car sputtered along until I 
came to another highway crossing. The way the car was running I 
barely made it across. It took about 10 to 15 minutes to get back 
to the gas station because the car was running so poorly. The 
motor stalled a couple of times, but I got it started again. As 
soon as I got near the gas station, the motor came back to life 
and was running perfectly. So I passed the gas station and drove 
to the highway crossing, about a mile down. The car was still 
running fine. I crossed the highway and started heading back 
towards the mountains again. The stupid car ran fine until I was 
close to the gas station, then the same thing happened. The motor 
started to sputter and turn on and off. I was really getting very 
frustrated and decided to just keep driving the way it was, but 
the further away from the gas station I got, the worse the car was 
running. Finally, I had no choice but to cross the highway again, 
and sure enough as soon as I reached the gas station the car ran 
fine. It just sprang to life and purred like a kitten."
"Why didn't you stop at the gas station and have someone check it 
out?" Danny asked.
"It was about nine or ten at night, and I didn't think that there 
would be a mechanic there at that time. Besides it was running 
fine on the other side of the highway and in some way I knew that 
there was nothing wrong with the car.  I wasn't going to let the 
universe stop me that easily, not this time."
"Talk about stubborn." Neena shook her head.
"Maybe, but I was mad, and I was going to show the universe that 
I've had enough."
"Let me guess.  You kept this up until your car fell apart." Danny 
grinned as if he knew better.
"Something like that, but not quite." I said,  "But I did keep 
going around in circles until about 9 or 10 the next morning."
They broke out in laughter. I had no choice but to join them. 
Looking back at this now, it seemed insane.  And it probably was.
"You mean you finally gave up?" Neena carefully wiped the tears 
from her cheeks.
"No, I didn't really give up.  It's more like I was exhausted and 
I decided to go to the gas station and have something to eat and 
gas up. Then I was going to continue. It's a good thing that they 
had an all night restaurant. I drove to the gas station and had 
the man fill up my tank. I remember that the attendant gave me a 
strange look, but I didn't pay much attention to it. I parked the 
car and went inside the restaurant. It was very quiet. There was 
only a couple of old truck drivers sitting at the main counter. So 
I took a seat in a small booth. I guess by that time I was almost 
delirious. I must have looked like hell. My face was probably 
drooping, my eyes bloodshot and my cheeks stained with tears.  The 
waitress came over with a coffee mug and took one look at me, and 
with a very humorous and concerned look asked if I was the one 
that had been driving his car back and forth all night."
They were still laughing. While reaching for my cigarette, I 
showed them my best frown, but that just made them laugh even 
"Oh yeah, you go ahead and laugh!  Some day the shoe will be on 
the other foot…then we'll see what's so funny."
"What do you think the odds are of that ever happening?" Danny 
looked at Neena.
She threw her hands in the air. "A million to one, maybe."
"To make a long story short, I told the waitress that my car 
wouldn't drive to the mountains, it would only drive back to 
Calgary.  I could hardly speak. My mouth was dry and my lips were 
numb, and I was too tired to be embarrassed."
"She asked me where I was heading. And with a straight face, I 
said "Off a cliff!"
"She just stared at me. Then suddenly, she broke out in laughter. 
Finally she seemed to get hold of herself and leaned forward. 
'You're a little thickheaded, aren't you? I'll get you some 
breakfast because you're going to be with us for a long time.'"
"She poured some coffee into my cup and headed for the kitchen.  I 
expected to hear some laughter from the kitchen but heard nothing. 
I assumed that she didn't tell anyone."
"She never asked me why I was trying to drive over a cliff, but 
after a few more words, some free coffee and free breakfast, I got 
into my car and headed home."
By this time both of them were laughing so hard that it was 
starting to tick me off, and I excused myself and went to the 
washroom. I wasn't really upset at them, just a little (or maybe 
allot) embarrassed.
Today this gas station is closed; nothing is left but an abandoned 
building. I still go there sometimes and wonder how many others 
like me had stopped there.
Well here I am today, and happy for it.  As far as the promise 
that it would all make sense at the end, that came true.  But as 
far as knowing better is concerned, I'm still a little bit ticked 
about that one.
 And to the very kind and generous waitress: Thank you!


One Guardian Angel.
Must possess an incredible,
Unimaginable and totally
Inconceivable patience.
 Send Resume and Lottery Ticket
To Box 40081
Attention Klaus.  

Chapter Seven

By the time I came back from the washroom, Neena and Danny had 
pulled themselves together again, but they were still grinning. As 
I sat down on my stool, Danny asked if I wanted some more orange 
"We didn't mean to laugh at you like that," Neena said.
"You have to admit the part about being thick-headed was pretty 
funny," added Danny.
"I guess you've got me there." I nodded my head in agreement.
"So is that it?" she asked. 
"No, not even close! From here on it gets really wacky."
Danny sat on his stool. "Well, the night is still young.  We're 
ready whenever you are."
Danny's top lip began to quiver again for a moment. I leaned over 
towards Neena. "Why does Danny's lip quiver every once in a 
"Whenever he's holding something back. He doesn't make a good 
poker player." she laughed.
For a moment I wondered what Danny might be holding back.  Somehow 
the whole thing didn't quite sit well with me. I always like to 
keep my eyes and ears open for things that are slightly out of 
place. This was definitely one. 
I looked at my watch but it was still not working. I could see the 
moisture inside the crystal. I was going to ask what time it was, 
but decided to let it go. After all, there was no place I needed 
to be.
"Let's see," I said, thinking about where I had left off,  "I had 
been flipping houses for about two years and had done fairly well 
at the beginning, but my heart wasn't in it. I was still unhappy 
and I had spent the last six months mostly trying to achieve 
happiness or more happiness. Whatever way you want to look at it 
is fine with me. I know that we've gone over this several times 
already. But that's the way it was. I stopped flipping houses and 
spent all my time trying to find a solution to my everlasting 
problem.  But I was running out of money, and finally gave up 
temporarily and decided to get a job. It didn't take long to find 
a good paying job. A few days later I also ran across a good deal 
on another house, which I bought and moved into. I had decided 
that I might as well just live the way everyone else does, which 
means working at a job, paying the bills, and saving a little for 
old age.  My son was living with me and I thought I'd better set a 
good example.  The thought of going through life like this, 
waiting for the end to come, was terribly depressing but that's 
all I could see."
"About five month into the job, I walked in one morning and was 
told I was laid off. They told me that it was because business was 
slow and they needed to cut back.  But that wasn't the real 
reason. They saw that I was unhappy. I just couldn't hide it 
anymore. I didn't have the energy to constantly put a smile on my 
face. I'm sure that they came to the conclusion that I was not 
happy working there."
"The whole thing came as a shock. I wasn't really upset, but at 
the same time, neither did I know what to do next. I sat around 
the house for a week, not doing much more than taking my dog for 
his daily walks.  I had a little bit of money but not much, and 
the house payments were fairly high. It wasn't a big house but it 
was in a good area.  The economy was fairly slow and there weren't 
many good paying jobs out there. Even if I managed to get a 
mediocre job right away, I knew I still wouldn't be able to hang 
onto the house.  I remember sitting at the park and watching Rudy, 
my dog, run around and play with the other dogs, and something 
clicked. For some reason I decided that maybe I should give 
finding happiness one more try. I thought that maybe in all the 
books that I had read in the past that perhaps I missed something 
or not followed the instructions correctly.  As soon as Rudy and I 
came home from our walk at the park, I jumped into the car and 
headed for the library.  On the way to the library part of me was 
thinking that this was a total waste of time, yet another part of 
me had sprung to life with the greatest enthusiasm. I also 
realized that whenever I was throwing myself into the work of 
discovering inner happiness I actually became happy.  It's after a 
while of not being able to go beyond that temporary happiness that 
I would get really depressed.  I had a very strong feeling that 
this time I would succeed.  I remember thinking that all I need to 
do is find that something that I had missed.  Then everything 
would be fine."
"Gee whiz, how long does this go on for?" Danny interrupted me.
"This is it," I answered. "This is where it all began to change."
"Thank God, this was starting to depress me! Are we getting close 
to the lottery part?"
"Just about there."
"Anyway, I picked up a whole bunch of books on everything I could 
think of about meditation, spiritualism, visualization, mind 
control, positive thinking, Love, and so on, even a couple books 
on dowsing which didn't really fit. But I saw them and decided to 
take them with me. I spent several weeks reading, making notes, 
and following any instructions as best as I could. I read from the 
time that I got up in the morning until I went to bed. The only 
breaks I took were either to have something to eat or take Rudy to 
the park and to practice whatever was suggested in the various 
"Did you achieve any results?" she asked.
"Not really," I answered. "Other than making the effort, which did 
make me feel good, or at least better than usual. I didn't 
actually expect any results. It was just a drive to try again that 
was bubbling in me. Making the effort gave me a sense of hope, and 
in many ways that was very comforting. Actually there's a 
difference between hoping to get something and expecting it to 
happen.  But we'll talk more about that later."
"So this is where everything began to change. I was getting quite 
restless and decided I needed a break. I decided to phone a friend 
of mine to see if he was at home.  I picked up some beer and 
headed over to see him."
"At that time, my friend was not financially in any better shape 
than I was. He wasn't working and didn't have much money.  He 
spent most of his time watching sports and playing the sports 
lottery.  He wasn't doing very well with the sports lottery. I was 
looking at some of his losing tickets. Sarcastically, I suggested 
that he might as well use a dart to pick which team is going to 
win.  He laughed, and told me that I was probably right.  I've 
always considered gambling like throwing money into the wind and 
hoping that twice as much will blow back at you. There's not much 
chance of that happening.  I had played some bullshit poker in the 
past, but mostly for fun. The most you could win or lose was five 
or ten dollars."
"Looking over my friend's tickets, a thought occurred to me. I had 
just read several books on dowsing and had watched a program about 
it on TV. This particular fellow was dowsing for minerals and on 
this particular program he was working for a miner to help him 
find some pockets of certain minerals in an old abandoned mine. As 
it turned out they were quite successful. The dowser was using a 
simple piece of string, with some kind of weight at the other end. 
It looked like he was using a left spin for yes and a right spin 
for no. I thought that the bottom line is that the string is 
probably nothing more than a way for the subconscious mind to 
communicate with the conscious my mind."
"I looked at my friend and suggested that maybe a person could use 
their subconscious mind to see into the future and figure out who 
was going to win the game.  He thought I was nuts and said that 
there was no way to predict the future, and he gave me about 20 
reasons why it would not work. It's pretty obvious to me that he 
is a lot more thick-headed then I am."
"But the more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea. By 
the time I got home, I had it more or less worked out it in my 
mind. I figured all I needed to do was to find a state of mind 
where the conscious and subconscious come together and work 
together as one rather than being separate. It sounds simple, even 
though it took me some time to work it all out.  It did turn out 
to be very simple, except that I was going to get more than I 
bargained for."
"What is so important about the subconscious?" Danny asked.
"The subconscious seems to have an enormous amount of information 
available to it. I also believe that all subconscious minds are 
connected like a giant network, but most importantly, I believe 
that the subconscious is also connected to our soul...that larger 
part of ourselves."
"It took me a while to work out the details and figure out a plan. 
I went back to the library and picked up a few more books. I 
played around with it for about a week or two, trying different 
things out. Anyway I took all the information I could find and 
mixed it all up, a little bit from here and a little bit from 
there. The conclusion that I came to was that I needed to be in a 
very deep meditating state, or a trance-like state of mind.  There 
seemed to be a veil between the conscious mind and the 
subconscious mind that I was trying to pass through.  The biggest 
problem was what to focus on. At first I tried to focus on the 
game results, but that just caused me to fall into a dream like 
state, and the results that I saw in my mind were not correct.  
Then I tried to focus on my subconscious and with that I had some 
mixed results, but not what I wanted."
"I'm going to spare you the details of all the stuff I went 
through to come to the conclusion that I came to. The bottom line 
is, we are much more than just conscious mind and unconscious 
mind. I came to the conclusion that I need to be in touch with the 
total part of whatever I am.  And rather than saying 'all that I 
am' or 'higher self,' I decided to use the word soul to describe 
my total self."
"I was positive that connecting to that larger part of myself was 
the key, and it worked. Actually it worked so well that within six 
weeks I had won over one hundred and thirty times."
"How much money are we talking about?" Danny interrupted.
I took a sip from my drink. Looking at Danny, it wasn't hard to 
see the dollar signs in his eyes.
"The total amount of money was just under two thousand dollars, 
because I was making small bets. I wasn't going to take what 
little money I had and throw it into the wind. Also I figured that 
it was best to keep a low profile, and as long as it works, I 
might just as well take it slow. At that point the money seemed 
secondary. I felt I had accomplished something that the entire 
world would say is impossible. I literally felt like I was walking 
on air."
"What about happiness?" Neena asked.
"I guess it went on the back burner for a while," I answered. 
"It's a lot easier being unhappy if you're doing it in a warm 
place under a palm tree watching the surf come in. I wasn't there 
yet but it was a definite possibility. Looking back now, I was 
happy.  I was putting in of hours, but at the same time I enjoyed 
it immensely.  Even today I still spend countless hours 
discovering things that I can do with my mind.  I guess you could 
say I found my calling.  But even though I still enjoy it today, 
and it makes me happy, it's not where my happiness comes from, nor 
was it the reason for my unhappiness. But we'll get to that 
"Well, if you're going to be depressed, you might as well be 
comfortable," Danny observed.
"Something was definitely happening. Happiness was starting to 
bubble up from inside. And it did have something to do with the 
way I was using my mind. But at that time, the only thing I really 
noticed was that I seemed really at peace." 
"That makes sense," said Neena. "You need inner peace to create 
"I agree," I said. "I was busy and excited, and temporarily really 
didn't care about anything else. But you also..."
"Never mind that!" Danny interrupted. "I need the exact 
I hadn't noticed it before, but Danny already had a pen in his 
hand and a note pad opened in front of him. His eyes where as big 
as dandelions, and his lip was quivering more than ever.
"It's probably better if I tell you the rest of the story first."
"I would rather hear the rest of it," Neena said.
"I'd rather have the instructions now, otherwise you'll probably 
forget." Danny interjected.
"Well, I might forget," I laughed.  "But I'm sure that you won't 
forget to remind me."
Neena shrugged her shoulders. "It's your choice."
This just seemed too strange. I wasn't sure whether Danny was just 
playing a game or if he was serious.  You see there are actually 
two types of players. One plays with the universe and one is just 
in the game. The main difference is that the one that plays with 
the universe is really close to the dealer and generally knows 
what direction the game is supposed to go, and will work in that 
direction. They also know who has what cards.  The rest, like 
myself, just play along with the game.  I was sure that Neena and 
Danny were playing the game with the universe but now it appeared 
that perhaps only Neena was. So perhaps Danny was playing along 
with the game like me.  Sometimes the universe seems to make the 
game up as it goes along, or at least that's how it appears to me.
This was not the first time that I have had to struggle with 
making this decision about whether to put the instructions into 
the book or even tell anyone about it. It appears that once again 
I'm at the crossroads.  It just didn't seem to make any sense to 
me that the universe was leaving an important decision like this 
up to me. Or was it?
I decided to give Danny his instructions but first I thought it 
might be a good idea to give him a little lecture.  To be honest 
it was more to make sure that I covered my own butt.   
"OK, I'll give you the instructions, but I want you to know that 
this can be used for a lot of different things and if you decide 
to use it for gambling, then you take the responsibility of 
whatever happens onto your own shoulders.  If you're going to 
spend two dollars on a ticket anyway, that's fine you might as 
well give yourself the best odds you can. But if you're going to 
throw your grocery money into this, I can tell you right now that 
you are going to lose, and I'll explain the reason for that to 
"I agree, no problem," he said, like a child with a new toy.
I took a sip from my orange juice and thought to myself, I've 
definitely heard those words spoken before.


Dreams, oh sweet dreams
They say
If it is dreamable
Then it is also achievable.
I see that now, ever so clearly....
The question is,
Will I remember? 
When I wake up?

Chapter Eight

"The first thing you need to understand is the need factor. It's 
like this: if you walk into a poker game with your last twenty 
dollars and you need to win, you might as well just throw your 
money on the table and leave, because if you need something really 
bad, it's going to be hard to get. The best way to describe it is 
to say that you need to be detached from the results."
Danny put down his pad and gave me a puzzled look.  "You seemed to 
need the money pretty badly at that time.  How is that different?"
"Actually, in many ways at that time I was at a point in my life 
where I really didn't care. If I won, fine, and if I didn't, so 
what? I also knew about the need factor. That's something I had 
learned the hard way many years before. There's a really big 
difference between wanting something or needing something.  The 
difference is very simple: when we really want something, we tend 
to think about it and work out ways how to get it.  But when we 
get to the point where we feel we desperately need it, our minds 
are not going to be clear.  Instead we'll be thinking about what 
will happen if we don't succeed. It's like trying to look in one 
direction and walk or drive in another direction.  It doesn't 
work.  The mind works the same way.  The mind needs to be focused 
on what we want to achieve and not what we are afraid might happen 
if we don't succeed."
"So, it's like I have to do it just for fun or for something to 
do, like a hobby." Danny said.  
"That's a perfect way to start. That way you're not under any 
pressure and you can focus just on what you want to achieve. If 
you put a lot of money into it, then you are going to be attached 
to the results, but if you only throw in two or three dollars it 
really doesn't matter, especially if you were going to do that 
"Are you sure you understand what Klaus is saying, Danny?" Neena 
asked quietly.
"I get it, no problem," he answered. "What's next?" 
"Next you need a quiet place, a place where you won't get 
disturbed. You need to either lie down or sit in a comfortable 
chair. I prefer lying down because that way I don't have to worry 
about my head drooping over.  The only problem with lying down is 
that it may take a little more work to stay awake.  Then you need 
to let yourself relax totally and let your body go to sleep, but 
not your mind. Just lie there and allow your body to fall asleep 
to the point where you can't feel your body anymore nor hear 
anything. Turning off your hearing is not totally necessary, but 
it definitely helps and can make quite a difference in the end."
"Should I visualize something so that my brain stays awake?"
"No! Because if you start visualizing, you'll fall into a dream-
like state and from there you'll fall asleep.  And if you 
visualize at that point, then chances are the things you see will 
be imaginary."
"So what do I do with my mind to stay awake?"
"That's the tricky part. You need to focus on your soul. I define 
your soul as that larger part of yourself or the total of what you 
are, whatever that may be for you. The problem is that you cannot 
visualize it. The best way I have found so far to do this is to 
pretend that I am listening to my soul.  I pretend that I am 
trying to hear something that is far away and very faint.  Just 
take a moment and pretend that you are trying to hear what is 
going on outside this bar."
Danny closed his eyes and was totally still.  I noticed that he 
was holding his breath.
"No, don't hold your breath. Do everything that you're doing with 
your mind, but keep breathing."
Danny opened his eyes. "I think I get it. My mind was totally 
focused, but it wasn't doing anything at all. Actually it was 
totally blank."   
"That's right, but the hardest part is to maintain that focus 
without thinking any other thoughts. It's not hard to do it for a 
few seconds, but after that the mind tries to bring up images and 
thoughts. No matter what happens, you can't engage those thoughts. 
If you find yourself doing that or involving yourself with the 
images in your mind you have to bring your mind back to focusing 
on your soul. If you don't catch yourself drifting, then you will 
enter a dream state and from there most likely fall asleep. 
Another very important thing is to focus, but do it in a relaxed 
state. You can't strain otherwise you won't be relaxed and you'll 
end up with a headache. So you need to be relaxed mentally, 
physically, and emotionally, but focused at the same time. It 
sounds difficult but in fact it's quite natural."
"Why can't you just visualize the results in your mind?" Neena 
"I was just going to ask that too!" Danny said.
"I don't know exactly why. All I know is that if you start 
visualizing at that early stage, then somehow what you see will be 
from the Dream State, and will not be correct. I don't have all 
the answers but I believe that you need to pass the Dream State by 
in order to reach that higher part of your mind. It's almost like 
a gateway on a path; you can turn left or right, with left being 
the Dream State and right being the higher mind. At first it will 
be difficult to keep yourself from turning left. We do that 
naturally, but only because we have done it so many times and for 
most people the path to the higher mind or soul has not been used 
very much. It's like following a groove; it has a tendency to pull 
you towards the left."
"That makes sense. I think I understand. But what makes you think 
that my soul will help me?" Danny asked dubiously.
"That's a good question, but I never looked at it like that. I 
believe I am reaching and becoming the larger part of myself, and 
with attaining that state, having all the resources available to 
me.  Why would you use an old hand-held calculator when you have a 
very large and fast computer in your closet? If you have to make 
important life decisions why use that small conscious mind when 
you have this incredible resource available?"
"Think about it this way. Whenever you are trying to make 
decisions you are in a sense trying to predict the future, even if 
you're making a simple decision like what time to cook supper.  
When will everyone be there? What time? How long will it take? And 
so on. The conscious mind is only capable of making very small and 
slow calculations but the larger part of you, your subconscious, 
has more information available to it, and carries all the memories 
of everything that you have seen, heard, smelled, felt, or 
experienced in its memory. So it can use that information to 
calculate things out much more quickly and more accurately than 
the conscious mind.  To give you an example, the subconscious mind 
has a photographic memory. Everything that is seen by your eyes… 
even if you do not consciously see it… is recorded in the 
subconscious, and the most remarkable part is that all 
subconscious minds are somehow connected.  It's like a computer 
that is connected to thousands of other computers and can download 
any information that it needs from anywhere.  Scientists are still 
debating this today but that is knowledge that has been around for 
thousands of years. Then comes the higher mind or the part that I 
call my soul, and this part of me lives beyond time and physical 
I stopped for a moment to give Danny a chance to ask his question 
because he was squirming around like a child who needed to go to 
the bathroom.  "Why would you focus on your soul when you say that 
the subconscious has so much information available to it?"
"I don't have all the answers, but over the years I have read many 
books and I like to read in between the lines. Nobody has came 
right out and said that they have tried this, but I believe that 
many have, and many have tried to use visualization and have 
failed. I also believe that many have tried to use the 
subconscious and failed. To be honest I can only guess at the 
reasons why those two ways don't work, but if I spent all my time 
trying to figure out the reasons I would never get anywhere.  I 
believe that we are more than just conscious mind and subconscious 
mind. I believe that very few, if any, have tried using their 
"Why do you think that?" Neena asked.
"I have more theories than answers. But a lot might have to do 
with superstition and fear. I think that it mostly has to do with 
fear because my friend was afraid to try it, even though he is not 
religious in any way, because he thought I might be breaking some 
cosmic law. It appears that this has been a very well kept secret 
and has only been passed down to a few masters. 
"Why do you think that they kept it a secret?" she asked.
"Actually that's a good question. I'm a little bit concerned 
myself," he said.  
"Probably because of fear," I answered.
"What would these masters be afraid of?" she asked.
Danny nodded his head as if to say he was asking the same 
"Probably darkness. Having knowledge does not always take away 
fear and having knowledge does not necessarily make you strong 
enough to face whatever life may throw at you."
"You don't seem to have that much knowledge, so why are you not 
afraid to play with something that has been hidden for centuries?" 
asked Danny.
I laughed at his question. "What's the universe going to threaten 
me with? I've already tried to end my life several times.  The 
only thing that remains is immortality, which would just give me 
more time to get into more trouble. I now have something that is a 
thousand times more powerful than anything that is dark and 
negative. Why would a larger part of you be upset for connecting 
with it?  That was not what they were trying to hide. It was what 
you are capable of doing and achieving when you connect to that 
larger part of yourself.  I have something much more fascinating 
than this lottery stuff."
"What's that?" Danny put down his pen. His lip was definitely 
quivering now.
I smiled to myself. "I told you to listen to the rest of the story 
first, but you insisted. So you'll have to wait until I finish 
giving you the instructions. But first I need my orange juice 
refreshed and I'm going to the washroom. Then I'll give you the 
rest of the instructions you so desperately wanted."   
I was still smiling to myself on the way to the washroom.  I was 
thinking of something that my friend John used to tell me.  
"Always keep an ace in your sleeve. You may never use it, but even 
if you have nothing, you'll feel like you have something..."


The fears of trying
Will, in the end,
Shed the tears
Of Love 
"I sure hope I am right about this one..."

Chapter Nine

The bathroom was very extremely tiny. It had one sink and one 
stall with a small door on it. I entered the stall and closed the 
door behind me.  I was thinking that maybe I should not have 
mentioned the lottery information. Maybe I should have kept it a 
secret. But on the other hand there are so many beneficial things 
that can be done with it.  I heard the bathroom door open and I 
thought I heard some footsteps. As the door closed I heard what 
sounded like an older man's voice.
He said, "Do not be afraid to tell what you know. Just leave the 
rest to me."
"Oh yeah, and who are you?" I answered sarcastically; thinking 
perhaps Danny was playing a joke on me.  I opened the stall door 
expecting to see Danny standing there, but no one was there. I 
quickly exited the bathroom and scanned the bar, but there was no 
one but Danny, Neena, and the old man sitting at the table. I 
thought that there is no way that old man could have gotten back 
to his table that quickly, and he looked like he hadn't even 
moved.  Danny and Neena were staring at me wondering why I was 
standing there.  I walked back to my stool and sat down.
"Did anybody come into the bathroom while I was in there?" They 
both looked at me and at each other, and shook their heads.
"I don't suppose that stuff in the green bottle makes you 
hallucinate, by any chance?" I asked.   
"Not me," Danny shook his head. "How about you, Neena?"
"I'm fine." She shrugged her shoulders.
"It's probably the Scotch. That stuff is usually good for a couple 
of pink elephants. What did you see?" Danny asked.
"I thought I heard something, but it doesn't matter.  Let's get 
back to the instructions."
"Good idea." Danny picked up his pen.
"Now as you are doing this exercise, you may come to a point where 
you begin to hear things, like words or music, or even just 
sounds. Also you may come to a point where pictures will form in 
your mind, but you don't need to be concerned about this.  The 
best thing to do is just let it happen without involving yourself. 
These things are just echoes in your mind. By the way, this is 
also a very good sign because you are very close to where you want 
to be."
I sipped my orange juice to give Danny a chance to catch up with 
his notes.
"So what are these visions and sounds that you will hear?" she 
"My theory is that the mind, especially the subconscious mind, 
never stops. I believe that at this point you are contacting the 
subconscious mind, but the important part is to keep going, 
allowing yourself to drift even deeper, and just keep focusing on 
your soul, no matter what you see or hear."
Danny looked up from his notes. "How do I know when I have reached 
my soul?"
"That's a good question. Actually it's achieved in degrees.  It's 
something that becomes more each time you do it. But you'll know 
when you're there. Some of the signs are that you will feel very 
peaceful, and you may have a sense of being larger. Your mind will 
also be very clear. It's hard to explain, but once you're there, 
there is nothing like it. You might also feel that you are more 
connected to the universe and at the same time separated from 
everyday concerns. That's the only way I can describe it. I 
believe that it is a little different for everyone."
I stopped for a moment to give Danny another chance to catch up 
with his notes.  Apparently he was writing down every single word.
"How is Danny going to know what the results of the games are?"
"That's the fun part. At this point you have some choices to make 
because you can do a lot of different and fascinating things that 
I will tell you about later, but if you choose to go the route of 
trying to figure out the game results then so be it. Now, 
everything that I have told you so far you need to follow exactly. 
This path is very narrow and you need to stay focused."
"I'm ready!" he smiled.
"OK. At this point you can begin to visualize. What I like to do 
is pretend that I'm moving forward in time and place myself at the 
corner grocery store. Then I imagine that I'm walking in the store 
towards the lottery counter and I look directly at the game result 
sheets.  Originally, I pretended that I was on a train and each 
town we passed represented one day in the future. When I got to 
the day I wanted to be at, the train would stop, I would get off 
and walk to a newspaper stand and look at the results in the daily 
newspaper. But I found that sometimes I was using too much of my 
imagination. Later I realized that was because I was trying to 
make the train too real, rather than just having the sensation of 
being in a train."
"How do I know whether I'm just imagining what I see?" he asked.
"Some of it will be your imagination; there's no way to get around 
that. The best way I've found is to imagine the store or the 
train, whichever you choose, and imagine them very lightly, so 
that it does not become your reality but just a form to measure 
time with.  But when you look at the results, you need to 
visualize very clearly, but use your imagination as little as 
possible.  You should not do it for too long a time period. I have 
also had very good success by simply asking my soul to put the 
answers into my mind.  In such a way that I would see it as if I 
was looking at a screen with the answers projected onto the 
screen. It's just a matter of trying different things and 
discovering what works best for you. If the answers are incorrect 
then it is not that your soul is giving you the wrong answers, 
it's that you not receiving the information correctly."
"How long did it take you to achieve this?" she asked.
"About ten days."
"That's not bad," he said.
"You need to remember that at that time I was not working and I 
was mostly spending my entire day working on this.  There are also 
some minor things that you need to know.  Not every answer that 
you receive will be correct, for various reasons. The future is 
not carved in stone and it can change at any time.  So I tried to 
get the information from six to ten different games. Then later I 
would look at those answers and compare them to what I would have 
done. Then I would select two or three games and play them. 
Sometimes if I felt I was having a good day and the information 
was very clear, I would play more games, but only when if it felt 
right. I also made very small bets and I made combinations. Let's 
say I had ten games. I might play three or four sets with three or 
four games in each set. That way if there was a mistake, the 
winnings would still out number the losses."   
"It seems so simple, yet I can see that there is a little bit of 
work involved. So is that all there is to it?" he asked.
"That's it!" I answered. "Well maybe just one more thing.  Be 
aware of what appears to be beginners luck!"
"What does that mean?"
"You'll see."
"Hey, that's not..."
"I see it!" said Neena, sitting up straight on her stool. "Oh, 
God, that's …  Wow, I almost missed it! Don't you see it, Danny?"
"Hold on! If someone can't see it, they're not ready.  It's never 
to be spoken."
She put her hand across her mouth and smiled. "Mum's the word."
"That's not funny." Danny jumped off his stool and picked up his 
I was smiling so much I could almost feel my lips touching my 
He looked up from his notes at me. "Who do you think you are? The 
Trying to control the grin on my face, I thought to myself, 'I'm 
not the dealer, but I know when I'm holding more than one card.' 
When you play with the universe in the right way, which is with 
respect, Love, and kindness, the universe keeps giving you more 
cards.  I have heard it said that when you receive a full deck 
then the universe might let you deal a few cards. That's more 
responsibility than I'm interested in and I imagine to get so many 
cards a person would have to be very dedicated to making a 
difference in this world. I suppose someone like Mother Teresa 
would perhaps have had a few decks. It's hard to say; all I know 
for sure is that three or four cards can get you a long way.

Inner Child

Ever notice
That in every
Adult body
There is a child
Kicking to get
Maybe we should let them out
Before they wreck the place.

Chapter Ten

Danny was totally beside himself about the little secret Neena and 
I were keeping. I told him that there would be quite a few clues 
in the rest of the story. That seemed to settle him for the 
moment. It's not really a secret, it's one of those things that if 
you try to put into words, it will be molded in a person's mind, 
and the minute it is formed into a mold it's no longer what it 
was. Some things in the universe cannot be put into words. Doing 
so destroys it for that moment and in a sense you would end up 
giving someone something that was totally useless.  The biggest 
problem is that if you try to tell someone, then they will mold it 
and later when they come to see this information in its true form, 
then again they will automatically put it in a mold, and so the 
information is lost.
I looked at Danny. "Before I continue with the rest of the story, 
I should probably tell you something that I just realized I had 
forgotten to mention."
"That's a surprise," Danny smiled sarcastically.
"This is actually very important, especially if you're having 
trouble keeping your mind focused on your soul. I've read a lot of 
books on Eastern meditation over the years and many of them 
mention various areas of the mind that you can meditate on, but 
none of them ever mention the brain stem.  It's sort of like this. 
I don't like to go into a dark basement even if there is a light 
on because there are so many dark areas where the basement 
monsters can hide. I have found that the best way to deal with 
dark basement is to put a light in the darkest area. The brain 
works in much the same way."
For some reason Neena thought this was very amusing.
"When you are trying to focus on your soul, in a sense you are 
using what some Yogis call the higher mind. But part of your mind 
will try to bring up other thoughts. That's something I constantly 
struggled with. The question was, which part of the mind was doing 
this? So I took a look at all the parts of the mind that the 
meditation books mention.  I always like to look for strange 
things, things that don't really fit, but appear quite normal, or 
too normal."
"What do you mean?" she asked curiously.
"Take a look at eastern writings from yogis or masters. If you ask 
them a question they will give you a very short answer, yet if you 
give them a pen and some paper they will write until the cows come 
home.  Rather inconsistent, don't you think?"
"Do you think that means something?" Danny asked. 
I nodded my head. "If it's there, it means something. How about 
the fact that even though they are from different races and 
different countries, they all have the same writing patterns? I 
use to ponder over the fact that they wrote hundreds and hundreds 
of pages and say next to nothing. Not only that they also write 
everything over and over and everything is the same, only the 
angle and approach is different.   Let's face it, they must be 
writing in some form of code, and if they all know what this code 
is, then it can't be that hard to decipher. When someone can write 
ten books and say nothing that's fascinating because then they 
must be writing between the lines. So I look in places they tell 
you not to bother looking, and I dig in places that they never 
"After all, if you have a treasure and you want to tell someone 
about it, but not let them know where it is, or exactly how to get 
it unless they're willing to follow you, then you will have to 
spin quite the web."
"So the problem I found is that you can't reach your soul or that 
larger part of yourself unless you turn off your mind from 
gibbering like a chicken that has just laid an egg, and the key to 
that is the one thing they seem to omit. Turn it off, and you're 
 For a minute I was proud of myself, then I realized that I was 
like a rooster on a fence post, clucking and bragging to the 
chicken next to him. Boy I hate it when that happens.
"You must be really proud of yourself, figuring all that out," she 
said, gently pushing the thorn deeper.
"I've tried meditation before and have had problems with thoughts 
creeping in. How do I turn them off?" he asked. 
"That's a piece of cake.  First you get yourself all relaxed and 
calm, then just for a minute visualize that there is a beam of 
light coming from your soul and going right down from the top of 
your head, filling the whole area with very bright light.  Don't 
keep on visualizing this, just keep it in the back of your mind. 
It's like if a carpenter was on your roof repairing it, you don't 
need to stand there and watch him all day, you just know that he 
is there. So in not so many words, you just leave the light there 
without constantly focusing on it.  That will keep the whole area 
very busy. I don't know exactly what this area of the brain is 
supposed to do, but I know this works and that's all that really 
matters at this point."
"Danny, tell Klaus about the basement monsters." Neena changed the 
He shook his head. He had a look of fear on his face.
Neena leaned towards me. "We have a basement here, but Danny won't 
go there because he thinks there are a monsters down there. Would 
you like to take a look?"
"I don't think so...If Danny says there are monsters in the 
basement, then that's good enough for me."
She laughed. "You men are all alike! You make a lot of noise, but 
when the wolf comes, you're no where to be found."
I decided to let that comment go, and thought about where I had 
left off before I got sidetracked. 

Secrets of the Universe  

The key
Thought, Trust

The lock
Action, Love

The door
Result, Joy

The game

Chapter Eleven

"During those six weeks, weird things had started to happen. I 
couldn't explain them so I just assumed that my awareness had 
increased and I was becoming more sensitive to what was going on 
around me. I didn't really want to face some of the things that 
were going on, so I thought that the best thing to do was just to 
ignore them. Things started slowly. First I felt like I was being 
watched. You know the feeling; it's like someone is staring at 
you. Mostly I felt it at night, so I started leaving the lights 
on.  The next thing that started happening was also in the 
evenings. I would be sitting in the living room with my dog Rudy, 
and sometimes he would suddenly sit up, point his ears forward, 
and stare at the center of the room as if he was looking at 
something. He did this many times over the weeks. I could never 
see or hear anything, but sometimes I definitely felt like 
something was staring at me.  The most interesting part was that 
if Rudy decided to leave the living room, he would go around the 
area that he was staring at, even though going straight across is 
what he would have done normally." 
"The next thing that started happening was things moving around. 
For instance, I would put something down somewhere, perhaps a cup 
or a book, and later it would be somewhere else.  I tried to tell 
myself that I must not have been paying attention to what I was 
doing, but somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew that was not 
the problem. I live very simply and with very few things, but the 
things I do have are always in their place. One afternoon I laid 
down to go into my meditation to select my bets, but I had 
forgotten to turn up the heat. When I go into a very deep 
meditation my body temperature tends to drop quite a bit. I had 
already begun relaxing when I could felt myself becoming cold. I 
didn't want to get up and have to start all over again. Then I 
heard the furnace go on and thought maybe I had turned up the 
thermostat, and continued with my meditation. By the time I was 
finished, the house was extremely hot. After getting up I went to 
the thermostat to turn it down, but looking at it, I realized I 
had never turned it up.  It was set at just under 70 degrees but 
the room temperature had reached 80 degrees and while I was 
looking at the thermostat, I heard the furnace turn off.
"Over those six weeks, I also had several strange dreams. In two 
of them I recalled talking to an angel but I could never totally 
remember the dream or what was said. I also had several dreams 
where I was sword fighting but I couldn't remember any details.  
Normally if these types of things were happening it would have 
fascinated me, but I wanted to stay focused on getting the correct 
sports results."
"Now this is where things began to take on a new twist," I said.  
"Towards the last week I was having trouble seeing the results. I 
could see the page but I was having trouble seeing the actual 
scores. It was almost like someone was putting their thumb over 
the answers.  As I moved my perception from one area on the score 
sheet to another there was a dark area that followed.  I was still 
having success but it was taking an enormous amount of time and 
concentration.  I thought that perhaps it was just my own doubts 
interfering, which is not an uncommon thing.  Each day it became 
more and more difficult and each day I put more and more effort 
into it. There was no way that I was going to let a little problem 
like that ruin my achievement.  I thought that perhaps over the 
weeks I had gotten lazy and was not going deep enough into my 
meditation. So every time I started meditating, I made a great 
effort to go deeper. During this time I purchased some earmuffs… 
the kind that construction workers use when they work with noisy 
machinery. The earmuffs made a big difference in my ability to 
concentrate. I had also purchased a sleep mask to put over my 
eyes.  With the sleep mask and the earmuffs I was able to go much 
deeper without being disturbed.  I still use them today, because 
if someone slams a door or drops something I'm not shocked out of 
whatever mind state I may be in."
"November 6," I stopped to take a drag from my cigarette. "That 
was the day when the shit hit the fan."
"I'm not blind.  I saw it coming, but I just didn't expect this."
I could see on Danny's face that this was making him nervous.
"You know what, I just remembered something I forgot to tell you! 
It's a big piece of the puzzle. I think it's one of the main 
"Are you nuts?" Danny asked.  "You're going to leave us hanging in 
She laughed.  "Just give him another shot of the good stuff. That 
will keep his lips moving." 
"Just give me another minute, this is truly important." I said, 
knowing full well that Danny was irritated, probably because he 
thought this had something to do with the lottery, and he probably 
thought this meant he would not be able to give it a try.
He stepped off his stool and grabbed a glass, threw some ice in 
it, grabbed the bottle, and poured a full glass.
She laughed.
He put the glass in front of me and put the open bottle next to 
"There! Now let's see those lips move!"  He sat down again on his 
I thought to myself, 'I don't know what game the universe is 
playing now, but I'll figure it out before the night is over.' I 
looked over my shoulder to see if the old man was still sitting at 
the table.  He was.  He had not even moved an inch, nor had anyone 
tried to serve him.  That's very strange.  I debated saying 
something, but decided maybe it would be best if I just left it 
alone and see what happened.
I turned towards Neena.  "About three weeks after first having 
success in winning the sports lottery, I figured that it might be 
a good idea if I tried to travel into the future to see what my 
future self is doing. I thought that if I can travel into the 
future to see the sports results then I should also be able to 
travel in the future to see how my life is turning out.  It took 
three or four tries, I can't exactly remember, but nevertheless I 
did succeed."
"I found that while I'm trying to see into the future, the picture 
in my mind can take a bit of time to form completely. At first 
what I saw appeared to be myself sitting on a lawn chair in front 
of a fire pit. Next some grass and trees and various other things 
formed. At first I thought he was sitting perhaps in the woods. 
But then a cabin or a summerhouse appeared 20 to 30 feet behind 
him.  I was looking directly at my future self when I noticed he 
was staring at me, and at the same time I saw that there was an 
angel sitting in another lawn chair beside him.  I tried to clear 
my vision by removing anything that was possibly caused by 
imagination. At the same time I was trying to clear my perception, 
my future self pointed at me, looked towards the angel, then back 
towards me and said, "I can't believe it he finally made it!" They 
both started to laugh loudly.
"For some reason I couldn't hold myself there and was instantly 
pulled back to my normal awake state. I sat up in my bed and 
thought about it for a while, and decided that maybe I had 
imagined the whole thing or at least part of it.  I decided to try 
again some other time, but I never got the chance."

The Joker Card

I call it the Joker card even though it is no joke. It's the 
reason I never wanted to play the game. I figured out the game 
when I was still fairly young and about the same time I realized I 
was holding one of these cards.  This can be a real problem, 
especially if you don't understand it.  I have seen a lot of 
people carry this card and have seen the problems it can cause.  
One of the biggest issues with this card is that you do not have a 
choice. If the universe gives you one, then that's it. There's no 
throwing it down. You can't run and you can't hide, and there's no 
way to fight it.  I believe that there is a choice but it's made 
by our higher self, and once that decision is made, it's done.  
This card can mean different things for different people but 
generally, this card plays you. You do not play it.  You're 
probably asking what does this card do?  If you have one of these 
cards, one way or another you are going to be directed to do 
something in this life that will make a difference. Unfortunately 
I can't narrow that down for you.
Many years ago I went to a very gifted person for help. I asked 
her, "What is the matter with my life? I try to go a certain 
direction and it seems like the universe tries to slam me into a 
different direction. How do I fight this?"  She said  "You are 
holding a card, and you know it, but you have chosen to fight it, 
and you will lose! There is nothing I can do for you." I was 
furious, and responded, "I will fight to the end.  I will stand 
and I will win."  As I walked out I heard her say; "You will 
You're probably asking why anyone would want to fight this card. 
To be quite honest, there are very few people who have this card 
and do not fight it. 
Why? Because this card will lead you down what appears to be 
totally illogical paths, and you will be pushed in directions that 
will make absolutely no sense.  This card is not a map; all you 
see is one step. It will push your faith to the absolute limit, 
and beyond.  Why? It would take too long for me to explain, nor am 
I sure my theory is correct. I can give you a clue: After you have 
finished reading this book, look at how everything has unfolded 
and you will see very easily that this book is my card, and the 
game is not over.
How do you know if you have one of these cards? Here are several 
First: You may feel that in some way you should be doing something 
more useful with your life or that there is something more 
important for you than just living day to day, but you have no 
idea what that something is.
Second: You may have a sense of urgency to do something, but may 
have no clue about what to do.
Third: Somehow you are being pushed in certain directions and if 
you try to go in a different direction, it seems like all hell 
breaks loose.
Fourth: You might feel that you are constantly searching for or 
craving something, but are not sure what it is.
Now just take a moment and become very quiet. Think. Are you 
holding one of these cards?
Spare yourself the agony of trying to fight it.
Been there, done that, didn't like it.
PS: This card can also be time delayed. In other words, it's 
there, but hasn't fully kicked in yet, but the effects are still 
felt by the person holding the card.  

The Dealer

The players
The writers
The readers
Are all in the game.  

Chapter Twelve

"Before I tell you the rest," I said, "You need to understand that 
on November 6, my whole life got turned upside down. Although I 
remember virtually everything, some things may not be exactly in 
the order that they happened."
"Is he stalling, or am I mistaken? "Danny asked Neena.
"Oh, he's stalling, big time," she said.
"No, not really," I answered.  "I'm just trying to cover all the 
bases. I don't want there to be any misunderstandings."
They sat there quietly, staring at me. It almost looked like they 
were trying to make me feel guilty. Like that's going to work? A 
strange shiver went up my spine and out of the top of my head. I 
got the strange impression that maybe I was pushing my luck.
"Usually I go to the store fairly early in the morning to get the 
results and the list of who is going to play that day. But I had 
slept in after a very restless night. Also for some reason I 
really didn't feel like doing it that day. Something just didn't 
sit right with me.  After lunch I took Rudy out for his walk and 
on the way back from the park we stopped at the store and picked 
up the sports information. I still had lots of time because the 
bets usually do not need to be in before 5 or 6 p.m. Going into a 
deep meditation right after taking a long walk seems to work 
really well. So as soon as we got home, I went into the bedroom to 
lie down. I keep the list of games in one hand so that I could 
study it just before I close my eyes. I keep a pen and note pad at 
my right side so that I can write down the results without having 
to get up.  I had my sleep mask and ear muffs on, so there was 
little chance of me being disturbed. So there I was, lying on my 
bed slowly relaxing, and going deeper. Because of the difficulty 
that I had been having over the previous two weeks, this whole 
process took at least two hours.  I was just getting to the point 
where my body was starting to become numb when I heard what 
sounded like someone clearing his throat. Thinking it was Rudy. I 
continued, and a few minutes later there was a thud under my bed. 
Loud noises like this will usually bring me back to my normal 
awake state, which means I need to start all over again. This time 
I thought that maybe it was just a wooden support holding up the 
mattress. Sometimes if I have trouble relaxing or getting started 
I will count backwards from a hundred to one and this usually 
allows me to relax at times when my mind does not want to. I 
started slowly counting backwards and after a few numbers I could 
swear that someone was counting with me. I could almost hear what 
seemed like a faint voice saying the numbers at exactly the same 
time I was.  I stopped and listened, but I didn't hear anything. 
So I started counting again and within one or two numbers I could 
hear a very faint voice counting with me. I thought perhaps I was 
imagining things and I decided to skip the counting part and just 
lay here until my body went to sleep. I was just at the edge of 
where my body drifts off and at the point where all physical 
sensation and hearing disappear when something hit the bed hard 
enough to shake it.  I thought a friend of mine had come over and 
had just shook the bed to wake me up. So I lifted my sleep mask 
and opened my eyes.  But what I saw was not a friend of mine. In 
fact, I couldn't believe what I saw. My heart was pounding so hard 
that I thought it was going to rip a hole in my chest."
"I was face to face with an angel, a big angel, at least seven 
feet tall.  He was brushing himself off, and said something like, 
"Hey! Don't you ever dust under there?  We're talking major dust 
problems here, buddy."  I still had my ear muffs on and couldn't 
hear a voice but I heard what he said in my head loud and clear."
I stopped for a moment to take another cigarette out of my 
package. Neena and Danny seemed like they were frozen in time. 
From the look on Danny's face I could see that he thought that the 
angel was going to rip a strip off of me. I lit my cigarette.
"That's not the type of language that I would expect to hear from 
an angel." I said.  My body was frozen but my heart and my mind 
where going a billion miles an hour.  I don't know how long we 
both stared at each other. He was smiling, but I don't think I 
was.  Thoughts were racing around in my head.  I thought this 
couldn't be real. Maybe he's here to give me shit, maybe because 
I'm not supposed to be using this yogi stuff to win the lottery. 
Maybe the universe has lost its patience with me. Maybe the 
universe has sent this angel to straighten me out. My whole body 
started to shake. I've been scared, but never that scared. I 
thought maybe I should jump out of the window, but I realized that 
wouldn't work. He was too close to the door for me to be able to 
walk past him.  I could hear a part of me yelling.  You have to 
get out of here, get out of here! Play along, I said to myself, 
that's it, just play along. I can talk my way out of this. Just 
say hi and play it cool."
"Somehow I managed to get one word out of my mouth.  'Hi.'"
"He leaned forward towards me.  'Well, what do you know? He 
speaks! Gee, relax. I think your eyeballs are going to pop right 
out of your head.'"
Just as I was starting to get comfortable with the situation, he 
yelled, "Boo!"
"Something in me just snapped." 
Their faces were frozen.
"The angel smiled.   'There, now that you're breathing again, why 
don't we sit and have a nice chat?" 
"That was it. I freaked out, jumped up, and launched for him.  If 
I can't talk my way out, then I'll fight.  I went right through 
him, into the wall, head first."
I stopped to take a sip of my Scotch and a few drags from my 
cigarette.  Even now, just talking about it makes my heart pound.
Danny shook his head. "Are you nuts? You tried to jump an angel?"
Neena broke out in laughter, and Danny and I had no choice but to 
follow her lead.

One Tree Down 

I remember a time when I was smaller, younger, faster, and my 
sword was swift.
One of my favorite games was sword fighting with the trees.
You might think that trees would not be very tough opponents, but 
they are.  It's just a matter of picking on the right ones.
In every forest there are at least a half dozen or so that are 
into it.  This is where it gets tricky. Some trees like to carry 
extremely flexible swords and you have to be careful how much 
force you use or they will snap back at you with twice the speed.   
On the other hand, it is much less painful to be stabbed with a 
flexible sword than with the hard rigid ones.  Those hard rigid 
ones will crack your sword in half right in the heat of the 
battle.  Then you are stuck.  The only thing you can do is run and 
hope some other tree will give you its sword.  That is, if you're 
not already staggering around with one stuck in your back.
To this very day I can still remember my battle cries as I walk in 
the forest.
And I hear the call, "Come on, old man, we dare you!"
As my heart awakens and the adrenaline pumps, I move swiftly. 
But there is only silence as I hug them, and surrender my Love.
Yes, many times I have been stabbed doing this; these scars I 
carry with pride and honor.
Challenge me, and I swear by my life:
I Will Squeeze the Very Love Out Of Your Pores.   

In Love, to my friends, the Trees.

Chapter Thirteen

My Lucky Number

"I have never heard of anybody trying to pick a fight with an 
angel.  If you thought you were in trouble, why would you make it 
worse?" Danny shook his head, still wiping the tears from his 
I shrugged my shoulders. "I don't really know what got into me, 
other than being scared to death.  I remember when he leaned 
forward and yelled 'Boo,' which I heard loud and clear even though 
I had my earmuffs on. I just snapped."
"So what happened next?" she asked.
"I hit the wall with my head, and that's all I remember. It must 
have knocked me out cold.  When I came to, I was sitting hunched 
over on my chair in the living room.  He was sitting on the sofa. 
As my focus came back I realized I could see right through him.  
When I reached for my forehead, I was surprised that there was no 
bump, not even a sore spot, and not even a headache.  I felt like 
I just had a long nap. But there was a numbing calmness; my mind 
was quiet and my body was relaxed. There's no doubt in my mind 
that my head hit the wall because when your head hits something 
that hard there's a certain indescribable sound that you hear just 
before the lights go out.  I remember looking at my watch. It was 
almost 6:30 PM. I was sure that it was only about 2:30 when I 
first laid down to work on my bets."
"I looked over at the angel and asked.  'Who are you?'"
"'It's pretty obvious, isn't it?'"
"I just stared at him. My mind was too numb to deal with it.  The 
thought that I might be dreaming had occurred to me."
"'Let me give you a clue.' he grinned, and for some strange reason 
that grin looked familiar."
"'Wings. See?' he spread out his wings so I could get a better 
look. 'And look, feathers! And look, I glow and I can make the 
lights go on and off.'"
"I hadn't even noticed that the lights were on. I just sat there 
staring at him."
"'Wait!  Don't guess yet. See there's a halo, and there's more.  I 
can float; I can make myself really small and really big…  Okay, 
I'll give you three guesses.'"
"My mind and my body was moving in slow motion.  He just sat there 
while I tried to assemble my thoughts. He looked so familiar.  
Finally, I asked him why I felt like I knew him.  As I asked that 
question. I realized that I was speaking in slow motion."
"'Whoa, you hit the nail right on the head! Or let's just say, in 
your case, you hit the wall on the head,' he laughed."
"The light came on in my head. For a second something came to my 
mind, even though it really didn't make sense."
"I pointed towards him. 'Sneaky.'"
"'Whoever said that banging your head against a wall serves no 
purpose obviously never met you. We're talking genius level here, 
my friend.'"
"There was no time for me to respond because instantly a gate in 
my mind opened. My head was spinning, and memories were flooding 
in like someone was downloading an entire lifetime.  I barely made 
it to the washroom before throwing up.  I don't know how long I 
was in there, but when I came out the angel was gone...which was 
probably a good thing because my head was on fire.  Within a few 
minutes I was in my bed and out cold."
"Why would you have so many memories flooding into your mind to 
the point that it made you throw up?" Danny asked.
"That's a question that is still out for debate. Maybe by the end 
of the story you'll able to tell me."
"So who or what is Sneaky?" Neena asked.
"Sneaky is the angel's name. Let's just call him that for now, 
you'll see what happens towards the end of the story."
"If you never saw the angel before, how did you know what his name 
was?" Danny asked. "Besides, what kind of name is 'Sneaky?'"
They laughed. That's okay, I thought, because it's going to take 
every bit of their minds to put the pieces together and try to 
make sense out of it all, without driving themselves crazy.
"As far as the name is concerned, that will explain itself as I 
tell you the rest of the story.  On the other hand, nothing is 
what it seems to be.  And as far as your other question, there's 
no way for me to honestly answer that until I finish the whole 
story, providing that there really is an answer."
"There's always an answer," Danny said.
I shook my head. "You're free to believe that for as long as you 
like, but in this world nothing is as it appears, not even close."
"It seems pretty obvious to me you're either in over your head or 
you're in a lot of trouble," she observed.
"I'm putting my bets on both!" Danny laughed. 
I took a drag from my cigarette. "We'll see. I may get scared 
sometimes, but that doesn't stop me.  At least not for long."

For Sale

One Guardian Angel,
Twisted Sense of Humor,
As is, No warranty, No refund
Send check or money order to box...

Chapter Fourteen

Danny picked up his notebook and closed it.  "I guess there's no 
point in saving these notes." He let out a deep sigh of 
"Why do you say that?"
"It's pretty obvious, isn't it?" he said. "Didn't this angel tell 
you that you couldn't do this?"
"No. And I'm not finished with the story."
"Then why did the angel come to see you?" Neena asked.
"Just hang in there, we'll get to that. Besides, who said he was 
an angel?"
"You said he was." Danny said.
 "No I didn't.  I said he looked like an angel. Remember what I 
said about things looking too perfect? I've never seen an angel. 
But if I do, I don't expect him to look like he just starred in a 
Hollywood movie." 
Danny seemed a little relieved but also a little bit confused.
"If he wasn't an angel, then what was he?" Neena asked.
"I didn't say he wasn't an angel," I answered.  "You know, if you 
want to understand the universe and its secrets, you can't be 
guessing, because that confuses the mind.  You just take the facts 
and hang on to them like new pieces of a jigsaw puzzle and wait 
until other pieces fall into place.  Figuring out the universe is 
more like a hunt than a guessing game.  You hunt for the pieces, 
not guess about what they might be.  Sometimes you need to take 
apart what you know to see the pieces individually, then put them 
back together to see the picture.  That way you're not guessing 
but seeing a larger part of the truth one piece at a time."
"Okay then, how do we break apart everything that you have told us 
so far?" Neena asked.
"Let's take it apart," I answered "First, we have unhappiness, we 
have need, we have success, we have fear, failure, contemplation, 
future; we have what appears to be an angel, and so on.  Now look 
at each piece."
I stopped and waited for them to think about what I said.
"The only picture I see is the one you told us about, no more," 
Danny said. "Without guessing, there's no more."
I looked at Neena but she shook her head.   
"The problem is that you're not adding your master pieces," I 
"What are master pieces?" asked Danny.
"Like everything in the universe is nothing more than a shadow of 
its opposite. Or an airplane isn't a plane without the sky.  The 
truth is ever changing and expanding. That's why there's no such 
thing as the truth."   
"I still don't get it," Danny shrugged his shoulders.
"Everything is but a shadow of its opposite. So take the piece we 
call unhappiness and break it in to its opposite. Now you have two 
pieces, unhappiness and …"
"Joy," she said, "and need is fulfillment.  I see it now the whole 
picture has grown."
"I still don't get it." Danny sounded frustrated.
She looked towards me. "May I?"
"Please do." I was surprised that she had caught on so quickly.
"Danny, it's like this: all the pieces belong to a picture, but 
it's a picture with no end and no beginning.  Everything just 
keeps connecting, but there are certain rules like if there is one 
piece, then somewhere its opposite will also exist. It might be 
bigger or smaller, that we don't know yet, but we know it's there, 
He looked bewildered as he tried to understand her.
"Let me explain it to you this way.  A few minutes ago you said 
that for some reason you were not allowed to use these meditations 
for winning the lottery and you had somehow decided in your mind 
that that was actually a piece of the puzzle.  In fact, it was an 
invented piece. You invented it and placed it into your picture. 
Now if I hadn't said anything, this piece would have become a 
piece of your reality.  In other words, the picture you're 
painting will be different than the one I'm painting, even though 
we started off with exactly the same number and kinds of pieces.  
So the picture that you had painted with the pieces was real to 
you and it would have become the truth for you. But on the other 
hand the picture that I put together is true for me. In the same 
token it is the truth.  So the real question remains: which is the 
truth and how does a person come as close as possible to the real 
"I think I understand. What you're saying is still a little hazy 
in my mind though," he said.
"That's okay, just leave it that way. You actually want it on the 
hazy side. That way you're not creating another story out of a 
"I've worked on this for many years. I was trying to understand 
the universe and how it works. But there was a basic problem that 
there are some things the mind is not able to deal with. For 
instance, trying to understand time or the concept of no time. 
They say that in fact everything happens simultaneously and that 
there is no such a thing as linear time.  It's one thing to say 
that, but it's another thing to understand it. Very few people do 
understand it.  It's like Einstein's theory of relativity. A lot 
of people have read some of it and don't really understand it, and 
there are people that have read it and think they understand it. 
But you can see by the research that they are doing that they have 
not understood what Einstein was trying to say.  It's not a matter 
of brainpower, not at all. People have been taught that to 
understand complex things you have to be incredibly smart, but 
that's not true. Obviously I'm proof of that."   
That got a chuckle out of Danny.
"So how is this going to help?" she asked.
"Give me a minute and I'll explain that. Sometimes it's hard for 
me to put things into words," I said,  "Perhaps this will make 
sense to you.  Years ago, I was trying to understand certain 
things and my brain was not able to deal with these theories, nor 
was I able to put them into a proper framework.  About that time 
computers were just hitting the market and I found myself speaking 
to a salesperson who told me that the computer was not as 
important as the programs, because without the programs the 
computer is nothing more than a big paperweight.  A light went on 
in my head. It's not that I'm too dumb, my brain is missing the 
program to understand certain things."
"So that's what this is, a program?" she asked.
"Sounds pretty simple for a program," Danny said.
"I agree, but brain programs are different than computer programs. 
The mind is a thousand times more complex than a computer and that 
allows the programs to be extremely simple. Things are kind of 
reversed but the idea behind it is the same.
"Okay, run it by me one more time."
"Take all the pieces of information you have and then separate 
them from each other. Break them into two or three pieces. The 
reason I say two or three pieces is that not all things consist 
solely of positive and negative. Some things and some pieces of 
knowledge also have a neutral aspect.  Then put the pieces back 
together wherever they seem to fit the best but do not create or 
invent or guess at any other pieces. Most of all leave them 
slightly hazy.  In other words, take certain pieces of information 
and don't completely accept them and don't completely reject them; 
just let them coast a bit. Sometimes pieces will be off to one 
side by themselves. If they do not fit, just leave them there. 
They will either be false information that you can discard, or 
later you will find a piece that will connect this piece to the 
rest.  Let me give you an example of how to put the pieces 
together. We have future, angel, and winning.  Two pieces fit 
together, and one piece stays off to one side. Of course, I'm 
talking about this story."
Danny thought for a moment. I looked towards Neena, but I already 
knew she had the answer.
"Okay," Danny said. "Future and angel fit, and winning belongs off 
to one side. I don't know why future and angel fit, but I know 
they do. I also have one other piece."
"What's that?"
"Something is not what it seems, and it belongs with future and 
angel.  I'm missing the piece that ties them together, but I know 
they fit," he answered.
"You're right on the money. The program has to be used a bit 
before it really begins to kick in, but once it does, your mind 
will actually give you the pieces that you are missing. We know 
that everything is not as it appears so we leave future and angel 
as hazy, not totally accepting them as they appear and not totally 
rejecting them as they appear."
"Isn't that the same as guessing?" Danny asked.
"No, it's not, because when you're guessing you're using the same 
area of your mind that you would use if you were imagining things, 
but if you only look at the pieces that you have, your 
subconscious mind will begin to fill in the blank spaces. There's 
also a big difference between guessing or searching for more 
"That's like saying that my mind already has the answers," Danny 
"Exactly. Your mind does have the answer.  The minute you ask a 
question, if the subconscious part of your mind does not already 
have that information it will immediately begin to find the 
information.  And it can get those answers from various places 
from your soul or from your subconscious. There are various other 
places that the subconscious is connected to that can also give it 
information.  The biggest problem is that subconscious cannot give 
the information to your conscious mind unless there is a program 
in place that can handle the information. The conscious mind and 
the subconscious mind do not communicate very well.  Dreams are a 
good example and can be a real problem to decipher because the 
subconscious is trying to pass information to the conscious mind 
but the conscious mind is not able to deal with the information. 
So the subconscious uses symbols, which is a very primitive and 
crude method of communication."
Danny wiped his forehead. "That makes sense, but if I were to say 
there seems to be a barrier between the conscious mind and the 
subconscious mind, would I be correct?" 
"Absolutely. That barrier needs to be there, but it doesn't need 
to be as thick as it is. The fact that the barrier is there allows 
the conscious mind to deal with just the moment and not all the 
other stuff that may be going on. Your subconscious mind, for 
example, hears everything, every single sound in the room, but 
consciously we only hear that which we focus on. The subconscious 
is like a filter that separates the things that perhaps are 
important to us from those things that are not. Besides, there is 
so much going on in the subconscious that when you get in there 
it's like sticking your head into a beehive." 
I looked at them. "Mind you, I could be totally wrong.  It 
wouldn't be the first time."


By defiant
Defy that part of you
That says you can't
Defy it
And you will achieve it.

Chapter Fifteen

I realized that we were getting sidetracked again when Danny 
suggested we get back to the story.
"OK, so where did I leave off? Oh, yeah, I remember." I said.  "I 
woke up the next morning in my usual wide awake death state. 
Actually I think it was more towards noon.  My dog Rudy was 
sitting there staring at me. I was a little disappointed in him, 
because it seems every time the shit hits the fan he's nowhere to 
be found."
"Is he a male?" Neena smirked at me. I ignored her.
"I remember dragging myself out of bed and heading down the 
hallway. I took a peek in the living room. The coast was clear, so 
I headed for the shower.  I was totally exhausted. I tried to go 
over some of the dreams I had but there were so many and all of 
them seemed to have this angel in them, at least the ones that I 
partially remembered.  I felt like I had just re-lived ten years 
of childhood.  In my dreams it appeared that this angel's name was 
Sneaky and according to the dreams, apparently we were friends.  
Normally I don't have a problem with dreams. I tend to just ignore 
them, but these were somehow mixing with my memories, at least the 
memories that I now seemed to have.  I need to tell you, this was 
a very difficult period for me, and it's hard to remember every 
detail because it was very confusing."
"Anyway, after breakfast I decided to go to the store to pick up a 
few things. I took Rudy with me because he loves to ride in the 
car.  On the way to the store there was this strange rhyme that 
kept replaying itself in my head like a musical tune… 'Love is 
like the Book of Love.'  I had no idea what that was supposed to 
mean or why it was there.  I tried to ignore it and concentrate on 
separating my dreams from my memories. But by this time I was not 
even sure whether I had really seen an angel or perhaps just 
dreamed it.  The thought that I might be losing my marbles had 
definitely occurred to me. I also thought that maybe something had 
gone wrong with my meditation, not that I have ever heard of 
anything going wrong before, but you never know."
"I found a parking spot very close to the door and told Rudy to 
stay in the car. The top was down on the convertible and it's not 
a lot of restraint for Rudy, especially if he spots a cat. I don't 
know, but there must be some kind of past life grudge between dogs 
and cats."
As I wandered around collecting some groceries I noticed that 
people were staring at me. As soon as I would look at them they 
would smile just like someone does when they know you.  I looked 
at my pants, my shirt, and even looked at a reflection of myself 
in one of the glass doors, but I could see nothing out of place. 
If I stayed in one spot too long, people would start making 
conversation. People were also touching me, even if they weren't 
talking to me.  They would pass by me and literally put their hand 
on my shoulder or arm.  One woman was standing so close to me that 
anyone would have thought we were a couple, considering our bodies 
where most definitely touching.  I tried to move over but that 
didn't seem to make any difference to her at all. She just simply 
moved her body along with mine. Normally you can go in there 
dragging a dead horse in and no one would notice.  They would just 
keep their distance. This is one of those Mercedes Benz upper-
class yuppie type grocery stores, and conversations are usually 
hidden behind sunglasses."
"This was too weird for me so I grabbed my basket and headed for 
the cashier, where things became even more bizarre.  Even in the 
line at the cashier people were looking at me. If I looked back 
then they'd smile and sometimes move their lips as if to say hi, 
at which point I would immediately look away.  As the line moved 
closer to the cashier the two women that I was standing in-between 
continued to move closer. You're not going to believe this, but 
the woman behind me was standing so close that I could feel her 
breath on my neck and we were making physical contact. The only 
time people stand this close is when they're in a serious 
"Why didn't you just move forward?" Danny asked.  Neena was 
laughing to herself.
"I tried, but the woman in front of me was actually backing up 
closer to me. I was also getting a little scared. Then the line 
moved forward, which meant she had to move, and at that point I 
put my basket between us. That solved part of the problem, at 
least until I had to put the basket down. By the time we reached 
the cashier we were so physically close that the cashier thought 
we were together."
"What would you have done if one of the ladies said yes when the 
cashier asked if you were all together?" Neena asked, obviously 
thoroughly enjoying this.
"Why didn't you talk to them? Chicken!" Danny said.
"Well, I can't really deny that. But I don't talk much even when 
I'm around people I know. It's not that I'm shy, just that people 
are not interested in what I spend my time thinking about. Besides 
I hate small talk. I consider it a waste of time even though 
sometimes it fascinates me to watch people who are masters at it.  
It's just a matter of perspective. Some people like myself want to 
take life apart and study it in order to figure out the universe. 
Others just want to live life, and many just want to survive it. 
Some people just do not want to discuss or think about whether 
plants have a consciousness and how it thinks. How about dolphins? 
Some people say that dolphins have a more sophisticated language 
then we have. Theoretically that would mean that they discuss 
things in a more minute detail, yet their life's seems simple 
compared to ours, which leads me to believe that there is more 
going on with them then we can see."
"I have an idea. How about getting back to the story?" Danny 
"I guess so," I answered.  "You know, to me telling this story is 
rather slightly boring. I have already lived it and went over it a 
thousand times in my mind. To me it's not that interesting 
anymore. Now, dolphins… there's an interesting conversation we 
could have. "   
"You never know," Neena said. "You might find something that you 
have missed."   
"You might be right," I said.  I thought about that for a minute. 
"Anyway, as I stepped out of the grocery store, I looked to see if 
Rudy was still in the car. He was, and so was that angel. From 
here on I'm just going to call him Sneaky because it will make it 
easier to tell the rest of the story, at least until the real 
truth comes out."
"Something deep inside of me turned. I didn't know whether to 
throw up again, or run, or maybe even just pretend this wasn't 
happening.  Tears started to roll down my face. I really have no 
idea why.  There was a woman approaching and she must have seen 
the tears on my face. She walked right up and tried to hug me, and 
I jumped back. She apologized and went into the store."
"Wow, so not only am I going to win lotteries, but I'll also turn 
into a chick magnet." Danny interrupted me with a smile that could 
have humbled a frog.
"Not quite," I said. "Now what did I tell you about jumping to 
"So I won't be a chick magnet?" Danny gave me a disappointed look.
"You'll attract your share of ladies; not just women, but all 
people."  I laughed. "This has nothing to do with the instructions 
I have given you. It has to do with Love.  We'll get into that 
pretty soon.  Anyway! Getting back to the story, Sneaky turned his 
head and looked right at me. He smiled and yelled,  'Do you want 
to drive or shall I drive?' I looked at Rudy and he seemed to be 
OK. His ears were up, which is usually a good sign. So I did the 
only thing I could do, given the options of either standing at the 
door crying or getting in the car."
"I'll try to replay the conversation we had on the way home." I 
said, grinning.  "But before I forget, let me give you a little 
piece of advice you might want to hang onto for future reference." 
"Never let an angel drive!" 
They laughed.  I took the opportunity to wet my palate with a 
little more scotch before continuing.
"Think about this for a minute." I put my glass on the bar.  "What 
would you say to an angel sitting in your car? What would you do? 
Who would you tell? Who would believe you? Either my mind was in 
shock or it was overloaded because the only thing I could think of 
saying was, 'How many wishes do I get?'"
"Sneaky answered with something like, 'Boy, this is going to take 
longer than I anticipated. Do I look like I just slid out of an 
old jar? I'm an angel, not a genie.  The reason I'm here is to 
help you put Love back into your life. To help you fulfill your 
"Well, that's nice," I answered. "But I dream of money."
"You actually dream of having more Love, joy and freedom in your 
life.  You just think that money will give this to you.  And 
you're welcome."
"I don't remember saying thank you."
"You will."
 "What does Love have to do with anything?" I asked. 
"Like no Love, no life. Love is the essence of life.  Love is the 
essence of what you are.  Love is the reason you are here.  Love 
is everything. Love encompasses all there is and ever was and will 
"I remember thinking to myself, 'I don't know why we're having 
this conversation. I'll just keep him talking until I figure a way 
out of this.'"
"You're nuts!" I told him. "You can't live without money, but you 
can live without Love."
"Is that so? Show me something that lives that has absolutely no 
Love. You can survive with very little Love, but you cannot live. 
There is a difference.  A lack of Love does an enormous amount 
damage to a person and a person lacking in Love can and many times 
will do a lot of damage to others. People who start wars are a 
prime example. When you are filled with Love you do not send 
people to kill each other."
"I stopped at the red light and turned my head towards Sneaky.  
"What does this have to do with me?" At the same time I realized I 
was face to face with a police officer sitting in the car next to 
me.  Something you do not want to do is to talk to an invisible 
angel while stopped at a red light next to a police car.  
Especially if you are driving in an open convertible."
"Did you get a little ride to the funny farm?" Danny laughed.
"No, I was lucky, but from the look on the police officer's face, 
it was a close one. I put my hand over my mouth and said, 'Wait 
until we get home.'  I was thinking about what Sneaky said when it 
dawned on me that I had forgotten to pick up the information for 
the games playing today."
"Feeling lucky today, are you?" he asked.
"While maneuvering away from the police car, I asked him how he 
knew what I was thinking."
"Easy. I'm an angel. I know what you're thinking even before you 
do. It's part of the package."
"By the way, Danny, don't bother playing poker with angels. They 
"I have a feeling that you might be right." Danny said.
"'OK, what am I thinking now?' I asked him."
"'You're hoping that I'll go to the casino with you."
"That's amazing." I turned into the driveway. Ideas were 
definitely rolling around in my head, like if you can't beat them, 
have them join you."
"'I don't suppose you know tomorrow's lottery numbers?' I asked.  
He didn't answer. I thought he must have a ticket or two stashed 
in those feathers somewhere, just waiting for a special occasion.   
"'Every day is special.' he said."
"I turned to see if he had any pockets but he was gone."
Danny had a very puzzled look on his face.
"What's going on in that brain of yours, Danny?" Neena laughed.   
"I'm trying to figure out what this angel was up to. I think 
another piece to the puzzle is Love. But he is definitely up to 
something." Danny said.
"Yup, he sure was."

Reading between the lines

Reading between the lines is something that I stumbled across many 
years ago. It's been extremely helpful.  I'm going to make this 
short and sweet because sometimes simple is the best.  The biggest 
problem with our language is that when we try to explain things 
like the universe, time, space, dimensions and consciousness, the 
words are just not there. But as life would have it, there always 
seems to be someone who finds a way around the limitations.  The 
best way that I can explain it is that each word, written or 
spoken, seems to have a vibration and something else, which I 
can't explain because I don't really know what it is. 
Nevertheless, by putting certain words next to each other, they 
begin to vibrate differently Each word begins to vibrate to a 
different note, but also the two words together have a vibrating 
note also. But the most bizarre thing is, in any normal sentence 
with a certain amount of words in it, each word will vibrate and 
the sentence itself will also vibrate. Those notes do not change 
unless you change some of the words. There are sentences that are 
totally different, in which each word vibrates and the sentence 
vibrates, but not on a single note. It's almost like the sentence 
itself is singing a note that is telling a story beyond what is 
actually written.
I would Love nothing more than to explain to you how this works, 
but unfortunately I have no idea. However, I do know how to read 
between the lines, or to be more accurate, I know how to get my 
subconscious to give me the information.
Let me give you an example that you may have already experienced.  
Have you ever read something, a book or magazine, and after awhile 
suddenly you snapped out of the dream-like state and realized that 
even though you have read several pages, you have no idea what you 
have just read? It's like you were on automatic pilot. Part of you 
was reading and another part was daydreaming or at least something 
similar to that. While you were reading you came across one of 
these sentences and also at the same time you were probably in the 
correct mental state and your subconscious began trying to give 
you the information that the sentence is carrying. If your 
subconscious is giving you the information in symbols then the 
whole thing may appear almost like a dream and will have some 
parts of your reality mixed in which then you will need to 
Reading between the lines is one thing. To write between the lines 
is a totally different thing. I believe there are probably only a 
few people in the world that knows how to write this way. It would 
probably take a lifetime to learn.  From the information that I 
have gathered, it appears that the highest concentration of people 
able to do this would come from Tibet.  Language does not seem to 
matter. Even if you can't read the language you still can read 
between the lines. Actually the easiest way to learn it is to try 
to read a book in a different language. Of course it needs to be a 
book that was written in this form, any spiritual books or 
information written in Tibetan will work perfectly.  This is how I 
learned it myself. I believe that the conscious mind becomes bored 
with trying to read something it can't, and at some point the 
subconscious takes over.  You will most likely find that you will 
slip in and out of a dream state. Afterwards you need to look at 
your dream and even write it down so that you can analyze it 
afterwards. What you will find will knock your socks off.  Another 
way that you can learn and practice this is to let yourself drift 
while reading. The best time to do this is usually the second time 
you read it.  Of course, if you drift into your day-to-day 
concerns you will need to bring yourself back.  My favorite way to 
do this is to pretend that a part of me is talking to me. I 
consider this part my subconscious. While I'm reading I drift back 
and forth. I read, then I listen, then I read and so on. 
Surprisingly enough, it's a lot easier than it sounds.
There are many books on the market that have information written 
between the lines. The interesting part is that even though people 
do not know how to write between the lines, it still seems to 
happen to writers who either channel or spend a lot of time 
meditating, especially if they meditate just before they start 
writing.  Also I've noticed that in any books that have been 
translated from Tibetan to English by anyone who has mastered some 
degree of meditation, it appears that the information that is 
written in between the lines transfers itself over to the new 
language. I find this phenomenon mind-boggling.  A perfect example 
is any book written by Alice A. Bailey. There is so much 
information between the lines that it could easily take four to 
five months just to get through one book. Other books you can take 
a look at are books by Seth, Sanaya Roman, Richard Bach, and many 
more. The amount of information written between the lines varies 
from book to book, although in the last few years it appears that 
it is happening more often.
The next time someone writes you a letter, you might want to try 
doing the same thing.  Sometimes people write one thing and think 
another.  For some reason what they were thinking shows up between 
the lines.
Now doesn't this sound like it could make some interesting 
There is a reason why I have given you this information at this 
particular point in the book.  I could tell you, but that would 
take all the fun out of it.

Chapter Sixteen

"Let's get back to the story.  Otherwise, this will take all 
"I'm not sure how long it was exactly, but over the next few days 
I tried to sort out the memories of my childhood. I also tried to 
separate my dreams from my memories but there was no separating 
them.  The whole thing was very confusing. I have a very good 
memory and I forget very little.  It was hard for me to accept 
that I could forget several years of my life, especially the 
things that I now remembered.  I remember having no friends and 
what seems like almost all my time was spent with this angel.  I 
was not very well liked, actually more like despised. That's easy 
to understand when you're spending a lot of time talking to 
someone that no one else can see."  I paused as I remembered how 
it had been.
"In one way I was hoping that I wouldn't see him again. Yet for the 
first time in a long time I felt lonely. I actually in some way 
wanted him to come back."
I took a drink from my glass.  "You know, there's no way to 
explain what something like this does to you, especially if you 
can't even tell anybody about it. I guess it doesn't really mater 
Neena reached over and rubbed my back. "You're not alone tonight."
"I guess..." I smiled.
"I'm pretty sure that it was Friday afternoon. I was sitting in my 
favorite chair by the window looking over the sports odds for the 
weekend.  I wasn't sure whether I should try another meditation. 
After all, no one said that I shouldn't do this. But at the same 
time there was still a little concern in my mind whether I was 
really seeing an angel.  If I'm seeing an angel who isn't really 
there, that could mean I've flipped out. If that were the case, I 
wouldn't be able to make a sane judgment whether this is real.  
About the same time I was thinking this, a flash of light caught 
my attention. I cautiously peeked out the window so I would not be 
spotted if it happened to be a reflection from a bill collector's 
"'Didn't you already pay off all your bills with the money that 
you won?' Danny asked."
"Not even close. At that time in my life it would have taken a lot 
more money than I had won to financially balance everything out. I 
already would have increased the size of the bets but as you can 
see, things were getting a little hectic.  Anyway, getting back to 
the story, as I peeked out the window I saw there were no cars or 
any sign of anyone. I turned back towards my tickets with a sigh 
of relief and almost jumped out of my chair. Sneaky was sitting on 
the sofa."
"'So I see you're working on your bets, peeking out the window, 
hiding from the bill collectors. Oh, what a tangled web we weave,' 
he said, using one of my favorite lines."
"I told him not to sneak up on me like that. As far as I'm 
concerned, even a hallucination should knock."
"'I tried to warn you, but you seemed too preoccupied with 
peeking,' he responded."
"Nobody's perfect."
"We both just sat there for a while in silence staring at each 
other.  He must have known that I was trying to formulate my 
questions. I had a hundred of them yet I couldn't think of a 
single one. My mind was blank.  Finally I managed to come up with 
something to ask."
"How do I know you're real?"
"'What if I'm hallucinating?' I didn't realize just how stupid 
that question was. There's one sure way to know whether you've 
totally flipped out, and that's to ask a hallucination if you are 
They both laughed, suggesting that I might be right.  
"'Obviously you're not in shock now, so ask yourself this: what 
comes after shock?' Sneaky asked."
"I thought for a moment.  'After shock comes denial, or 
disbelief.' Right about then Rudy walked into the living room, 
looked over at Sneaky, then walked over to where I was sitting and 
laid down staring at the angel."
"'OK, if you're real, why didn't I remember you before the other 
day?' I asked."
"'But you did remember,' he said. 'You just assumed that you made 
it all up because it was hard for you to believe in something that 
did not fit into the world that you made for yourself.'"
"I didn't say anything, but I must have had a puzzled look on my 
face because somehow even though what he said could have been 
correct. I just didn't feel that it fit with me one hundred 
"You were also very young and a lot of very unpleasant things 
happened to you.   When children go through difficult times, they 
tend to suppress some of their memories in order to continue to 
function. This is simply self-preservation." 
"I knew he was right, but I still wasn't convinced."
Sneaky continued to try to convince me.
"'Unfortunately, memories tend to go in packages.' he said.  'As 
one memory is suppressed, others that can trigger this memory will 
also be suppressed. I became the trigger mechanism and as soon as 
you saw me you were faced with the reality that I must exist. It's 
your mind's job to make sense of what you see and in order for it 
to do this it looks for memories. One triggers the next in a 
domino effect."
"'Let me interrupt you for a moment,' Danny said. 'Did you have an 
angel for a friend when you were a kid or didn't you?'"
"That's the million dollar question, isn't it? I have my theories, 
but let's wait and see if you two come up with the same answers," 
I said.
"Something doesn't quite jive, but I can't put my finger on it 
yet." Neena observed.  Danny nodded in agreement.
I took another sip from my Scotch. "I was sitting there and still 
couldn't think of any questions to ask. Thinking about it now, I 
find that rather strange.  Then something came to my mind. 'Come 
to think of it, where the hell were you when the shit hit the fan?  
I could have used some help, not to mention a little company.  Do 
you have any idea how much time and effort went into trying to get 
over all that?'  At that moment I felt a lot of anger surging up.  
Rudy decided to go lie in a more serene area."
"'The way I remember it, you were quite adamant that I leave.  Let 
me rekindle your memory. I think you said, and please correct me 
if I'm wrong...' he answered."
"'Never mind, I remember,' I interrupted him.  'I told you to go 
because I didn't want to have anything to do with Love anymore. I 
said people are cruel and everyone thinks I'm crazy and I blamed 
you for not having any friends. I said people don't care and 
because of you they're sending me away. I said you were wasting my 
time telling me things that no one cares about.'"
"After I said that to him. I remember falling into silence at the 
feelings that were coming up. When I was a kid I had started 
hating this world and the people in it. Survival! Survival was 
everything, more important than Love, more important than fun. 
Survival is all there is, I told myself. Survive until I'm bigger 
and stronger and then I'll fight back.  Those are the thoughts I 
had when I was about eight years old."
"'Then you should have helped,' I said, 'instead of showing up now 
just when things are going good.'"
"'You were never alone,' he answered. 'No one is, even if they 
think they are.  Ask yourself how many unexplainable things 
happened to you just when you needed it most?"
"Looking up towards the ceiling, I wondered how so many things can 
go wrong in one lifetime."
"He disappeared right after I looked away, which was just as well.  
I needed time to figure everything out."
I reached for my cigarettes and asked Danny if I could have some 
more orange juice.   
"It's strange," I looked at Neena.  "Even now that I'm telling you 
this, all the feelings are coming back as if it was yesterday.  
Don't you think that's strange?"
Neena shook her head. "No."
There were several long moments of silence before I continued with 
the story.


Trees are the only ones I know
That like those Hugs.
You know,
The kind where you squeeze,
But a big squeeze.
I mean a really really big squeeze.
No not just big but really really really really big
The kind that makes your ears turn red
Now that's a Hug
Only trees like it that way, and me. 

Chapter Seventeen

Danny jumped off his stool and poured me another glass of orange 
juice with a little bit of crushed ice.
"So you don't think there's anything wrong with using your method 
to win the lottery?" Neena asked.
Danny shook his head. "I don't see anything wrong with it."
"Isn't it like trying to get something for nothing?"
"I guess in some ways it is. But in other ways, you'd be putting a 
real effort into it, not just throwing your money into the wind 
hoping that luck takes over.  You're using your mind and all the 
abilities that you have. You're also not taking anything from 
anybody else because if someone else has the right answers they'll 
win too.
"That's a good point," Danny said, "but what if you decide to 
write about this and too many people decide to do this? Pretty 
soon there won't be any lottery."
"I know what you mean. The bottom line is that it's already 
"What do you mean?" Neena asked. "What did you do?"
Danny's eyes were as big as watermelons again.
"Well, about six months ago I wanted to write a book telling the 
story of what happened. I didn't know how to write it so I took a 
tape recorder and just told the story, the same as I am telling 
you it now. It took about four tapes...almost six hours, and then 
I made copies and sold a bunch of them just to see if anyone was 
interested.  Apparently a few people out there have taken it to 
the maximum because I heard that the Sports Lottery Commission is 
having a real problem balancing their books because suddenly there 
seems to be a group of people who are constantly winning.  First 
they tried to lower the odds, hoping that this would break 
whatever system people were using, but it didn't. Now they have 
limited the amount of money that you can bet.  I heard throughout 
the grapevine that the Lottery Commission is frantically trying to 
figure out what system these people are using. But the bottom line 
is, there is no system."
"How many tapes did you sell?" Neena asked.
"About a dozen."
"If you only sold one dozen, what will happen if you write a book 
and thousands of people read it?"
"It's hard to say. Maybe the Lottery Commission will have to shut 
down or find a way to make the game more challenging. It's a lot 
like playing chess. If you're not going to use your mind, there's 
no point in playing.  The government has decided to make gambling 
legal for its own purposes, and if they're not willing to take the 
heat that comes with that kind of decision, then it's best for 
them to stay out of it.  They seem to have no problem at all 
raking in millions of dollars from hard working individuals. 
Whether they're willing to give it back is not my concern.  The 
world isn't going to end just because the lotteries are shut down. 
Besides, this story is not about money or the lottery. It's about 
Love and what you can do with Love and your mind."
"But if the lottery is shut down, learning this will be useless." 
Danny said.
"Not at all! There are an incredible amount of things that you can 
do with this talent. To think that you can only use it for winning 
the lottery is silly and narrow minded. There are many incredible 
and wonderful things that this method can be used for. You can use 
it to make a real difference in this world and to help a lot of 
people. You can use it at your job or in your business. It's 
endless! Just because the lottery may not be around, at least in 
the way it is right now, is no reason to hold this information 
back.  The only reason I'm telling you about the lottery first is 
because that is how I started, then I slowly learned the rest, 
which you will find out about as soon as you let me get back to 
the story."
"Do that!" Danny said eagerly.
Neena leaned towards me.  "Are you still playing the lottery?"
"No. Well maybe I shouldn't say no. I still play every now and 
then, mostly for fun. I throw in two dollars.  It's very seldom 
when I don't win but as far as trying to make money with it, I 
stopped that a long time ago. Money was never really what I was 
after.  I admit I got sidetracked for a while. What I was after 
was to be happy, and being happy in a way that doesn't depend on 
money or things or relationships or anything external. I'm happy 
to say that after 41 years I finally have achieved my goal. There 
is nothing that can compare with that. I am working on another 
project though, and I use the lottery to measure how well it's 
working.  But that's another story."
"How did you achieve your happiness?" Neena asked.
"The rest of the story will explain that."

The Secret

Yesterday I asked my dog
What is your secret to life?
He answered
If it runs, chase it
I asked,
What if it doesn't run?
He answered
Just wait....

Chapter Eighteen

"Sunday is my favorite day," I said.  "The streets are quiet and 
there are no bill collectors lurking around the corner.  A good 
time to go for groceries.  Rudy and I decided to brave it out and 
give that grocery store one more try.  I told Rudy to stay in the 
car and as I walked in I thought the first sign of trouble, I'm 
out of there.  I slowly worked my way around the store, unnoticed. 
Everything was back to normal.  Boy, was that a relief!  Walking 
around picking up a few more things I passed the stationery shelf, 
and a notebook fell off the shelf and right into my little red 
basket.  You've got to admit the odds of having something like 
that happening are pretty low. Nevertheless, I picked up the book 
and flipped through the pages. A thought occurred to me: what if 
Sneaky doesn't show up for a while? I could end up forgetting 
everything. The first day was already fading; it seemed more like 
a dream. I put the notebook back on the shelf. But as soon as I 
got home I started making some notes."
"I was sitting in the living room on my favorite chair by the 
window writing when I heard a voice say, 'I'm glad to see that 
you've adjusted.'"
"I didn't need to look to know who it was. I said 'Gee, I wish you 
wouldn't sneak up on me like that! Why don't you knock on the 
front door?'"
"'You never answer the front door.'"
"'Okay, knock on the back door.'"
"'You don't answer that door either.'"
"'I guess you have a point. How about a flash of light just 
"'That can be arranged.'"
"This time I was prepared. I already had written down some 
questions that I wanted to ask.  I flipped the pages in my 
"'Here's a question for you,' I said. 'What happened at the store 
the other day? People were acting very weird.'"
"'To put it mildly, you were glowing,' he smiled.
"'Let me ask you this: what happens when people fall in Love?'"
"They glow."
"'Give me a minute.' I was sure I had the answer. After all, I've 
seen it many times."
"'First they get this glow about them,' I said. 'Then they seem to 
become more attractive, especially to the opposite sex. They just 
seem to attract people.'"
"'Exactly.  Try to look at it this way.  When a person falls in 
Love their hearts start to open and they literally begin to 
radiate Love. This is what gives them that glow.  And in your case 
the same thing happened. Your heart opened temporarily and you 
were radiating Love, only in much larger amounts than you are use 
to seeing.'"
"'Pretty dangerous stuff. Let's hope it doesn't happen again." I 
shook my head.
"Sneaky was shaking his head too.  'Just imagine what you could do 
if you learned to open your heart, Klaus.'"
"'Yeah, just imagine what I could do with a million dollars, 
"'Do you remember when you were six?' he asked.  I shrugged my 
"'You wanted to know everything about Love. You wanted everyone to 
be happy. You wanted to change the world to make a difference. You 
would stand in the middle of a field pretending to send Love to 
all the flowers and butterflies like a little sun radiating with 
Love.  Remember that?'"
"'Not really. After all, I was only six and obviously didn't 
realize what planet I was on.  I'm getting a very strange feeling, 
like you're trying to trick me into doing something I don't want 
to do.'"
"'What is it that you don't want to do?'"
"I thought for a moment. 'You've got me there. I don't have a 
"'OK, what is it that you want to do?'"
"This was starting to give me a headache. I've been through this a 
thousand times in my mind and every time I find something that I 
think I would enjoy, doing it seems to fizzle out.  I could sense 
that Sneaky heard my thoughts."
"'I just don't know,' I responded. 'It's like something is missing 
and I just can't seem to put my finger on it.  Sometimes I think 
it's boredom, but that's not it. It's like… my life is like paint 
with no color in it.'"
"'Let's go back to when you were six or seven. Think about it. Did 
the things you did then seem to be colorless?'"
"I was trying to think. I grabbed a cigarette and while I was 
lighting it, I noticed out of the corner of my eye that Sneaky was 
I stopped a moment to take a drink of my orange juice. 
"'So what did you do when you were younger? It sounds like you 
were happy then,' Neena said."
'Well... things were not the greatest. Actually most of the time 
it was barely bearable.  But I had things I Love to do, stuff... 
you know, stuff you just can't get enough of.  Every day I was 
raring to go. I couldn't wait to get out of the door.  Sleep was 
something I did when I just couldn't keep my eyes open for even 
one more minute.  After Sneaky left I thought about all of this. 
When I was younger, something was different inside me. When I was 
little, sleep was a nuisance, but later in my life sleep became an 
escape and there were many things on my list of stuff that just 
needed to go.  But that still didn't bring me any closer to 
understanding what it was that made the difference. Whatever it 
was definitely seemed to be missing later on in my life."
"'So you still don't know what's missing?' Neena asked.
"'I do now, but at that time, when Sneaky first came around, I had 
no clue at all. Actually I had thought that the reason Sneaky was 
there had something to do with winning the lottery. But I was 
starting to realize that he hadn't come because of the lottery but 
for some other reason. That realization made me a lot more 
comfortable around him. I was a little less defensive after that.  
As far as what was missing in my life or in me, just hang in 
there, it's all in the story."
Danny breathed a sigh of relief.  "So the reason he was there had 
nothing to do with the lottery, right?"
"That's right." I answered "But it does have something to do with 
the method."   
I smiled as Danny's shoulders drooped.  Neena seemed to think it 
was quite funny also.

I Am a Dog and This is My Life
I sleep
I dream
I make a cat or two run
For their lives
And the day is done.
What a glorious life
Perhaps tomorrow there will be a squirrel
Oh, yes, tomorrow…
A big fat slow-running squirrel.

Chapter Nineteen

I looked at Neena and Danny and asked, "Have you ever thought 
about how much effort and time goes into operating a physical 
body?"  Both of them just gave me puzzled looks.
I shook my head.  "It's like this. A few days after the last 
visit, I still hadn't made any bets, mostly because I was unsure 
of things. In some ways the possibility that I could have flipped 
out was still in my mind.  I felt that the fact that I was still 
questioning myself gave me an indication that I was still all 
"I was taking a bath, listening to ZZ Top with my headphones and 
contemplating the complexity of having a physical body and the 
complexity of life.  Think about how much it takes to run a 
physical body from one day to the next. It's enormous! We get up 
in the morning, and the first thing we need to do is drain off 
excess fluid. Then we wash, scrub and comb our body. Then we 
spray, rub and squeeze some more stuff on it.  But that's not all. 
Then we put on clothes that we had to wash, dry, press, and fold. 
Now at this point you'd think you're done, right? No, this is just 
the tip of the iceberg. So now it needs refueling, but nothing as 
simple as a bale of hay. We need to stir, percolate, mix, grill, 
and finally shove the whole thing into a hole in our heads, and 
don't forget to chew. Boy I Love efficiency.  We need a place to 
store this body, especially at night so nothing will eat it while 
we're sleeping, and to keep it dry if it happens to rain.  So we 
rent, buy, or build a shelter. But in order to do this you take 
your body someplace and make it do things, and then someone gives 
you paper, which you give to somebody else.  Now to go to this 
place where they give you paper when you make your body do things 
it does not want to do, you need body transportation devices which 
is like a body shell that you need to feed with a hose, and wash, 
wax, repair, and shelter.  That makes sense, doesn't it? So now 
you need to do more building and paper trading.  And to make 
matters even more bizarre, have you ever noticed that there is 
always something either trying to eat or mate with your body?  
Just take your body to the park and watch what happens. Bugs try 
to suck your blood; dogs try to lick your face off, and the next 
thing you know some other body tries to rub itself against yours. 
Go figure."   
Danny and Neena were laughing quite hard by this time. Apparently 
they thought it was quite funny. Unfortunately back in those days 
I saw it as the truth and took it a lot more seriously.  I lit 
another cigarette and waited patiently for Danny and Neena to 
settle down so I could continue.  
"I was still in the tub. My eyes were closed, but I thought I saw 
a flash of light through my eyelids.  Opening my eyes, I saw 
Sneaky sitting on the toilet holding a paper sailboat and a razor.  
My heart speeded up while I looked at the razor. It was an old 
one, the kind that opened at the top like the bomb doors on a B52 
bomber.  There was something familiar about those two things. I 
was just waiting for my memory to catch up."
"'I can see why you've lost some of your sense of humor, looking 
at life that way.' Sneaky said.
"'What?' I kept one eye on the razor and the other on the door."
"'What you where just thinking about.'"
"'Oh, just a thought, that's all.' I said."
"'No, I think it's more than that.' he said, giving me a concerned 
look. 'You see if you take Love out of life, everything becomes 
mechanical, cold and Loveless.  It's true that a lot of the things 
you need to do are the same every day, but if there is Love in 
your actions, things have a certain romance to them.  Take your 
bath, for instance. Basically it has one main function, but add a 
few bubbles, some toys...which I see you have, perhaps a candle 
and some pleasant conversation or even some music, and you have a 
totally new experience.'"
"'What's with the boat and razor?'"
"'You remember! Someone made you a paper boat just like this one 
because you didn't want to take a bath. My, how things change.  I 
see you have plastic ones now.  But as soon as you saw the paper 
boat, you rushed upstairs into the tub."
"'Yes, I remember.'"
"'Do you remember the razor?' Sneaky grinned as he pointed the 
razor at me.
"'Yes.' I answered. The memory had already clicked in my mind.  
'It's hard to forget, considering I'm still sitting on the scar.'"
"'Do you remember me telling you not to play with this razor?'"
"'You were always telling me not to do this or that.' I said. 'So 
what's your point?'"
"'There is no way to prove to you that I am real and that you are 
not crazy. Everything can be considered a fragment of your 
imagination; it's not for me to do it for you, but for you to 
trust yourself for in that lies a great achievement.  So think 
about what has been missing in your life all these years.'"
"I looked up. 'Why don't you just tell me?'"
"But he was already gone. He did leave the paper sailboat.  As I 
grabbed it I noticed there was some writing on its side: Several 
years ago you imagined doing something. Remember, for your 
thoughts create reality. Proof is the burden of the disbeliever.'"
I plunked the sailboat into the water, put my headphones on, and 
played with it, at least until it sank. It brought back a lot of 
memories. But I couldn't figure out what I had imagined two years 
ago that is now supposedly reality."  
I knew what Neena wanted to ask.

Here's a riddle

Are you ready?
Okay then!
Conscious creation.
Is a Conscious Creation?
(I never said that it was going to be an easy one.)

Chapter Twenty

Danny looked at his notebook and rubbed his forehead.  Neena 
noticed Danny's expression also, and asked him what was wrong.  He 
just mumbled something, but didn't really answer. I was pretty 
sure I knew what was going on in his head.
"What's the matter, Danny?" I asked.  "Having conflicting 
Danny looked up at me. "What do you mean?"
"Come on.  It's written all over your face. You're not sure what 
to believe anymore and whether this lottery thing will work.  
"I guess so," he answered. "I'm not saying that you're not telling 
the truth. It's just that maybe it works for you, but that doesn't 
mean it will work for me."   
"If ten angels came here right now directly from God and told you 
it will work for you, would you believe it then?"
"Most definitely." Danny's eyes gleamed.
"How about if it was just one big fat beer-burping angel? Would it 
work for you then?"
Neena chuckled.
"Why would it make a difference to you how many angels there are?"
"I don't know. I guess it just makes it more believable." Danny 
shook his head.  "I don't get what you're trying to tell me."
"The bottom line is that you're right, it won't work for you."
Danny had a shocked look on his face, and so did Neena.  For a 
second I thought Danny was going to lose it.
"The reason it won't work for you is because you don't believe it, 
so tell me why you believe that it will not work for you."
Danny thought for a moment.  "I guess it seems too simple.  You'd 
think that with all the millions of people on this planet, 
somebody would have figured it out before."
"Logically that makes perfect sense, and at one time I too 
actually believed that.  Later I realized that it was just my 
limiting belief trying to justify itself. I'm not the only one 
that has done this.  It's just that everyone else who has also 
achieved this is being very quiet about it.  It's very strange but 
as soon as you discover something it seems that other people who 
have also discovered it seemed to come out of the woodwork."
"Beliefs are locked doors, or keys that open any door," Neena 
"That's true," I said. "Right now your beliefs are locked doors. 
If we convinced you that you could not learn to ski and you 
believed it, then you would not learn to ski.  That's just the way 
it is, even if all the evidence proves the opposite."
"But if something is proven, then it's real and we should believe 
"No!" I shook my head.
Danny grabbed his empty glass and slammed it on the bar in front 
of me. "This glass is round. I believe it."
I grabbed the glass and threw it on the floor behind the bar. It 
smashed into a thousand pieces.
"No, the glass was round on the sides, but flat on the bottom and 
hollow in the top. Now it's none of those things."  I realized it 
was a lousy example.
"I can't prove to you how your beliefs affect everything that you 
can or can't do.  Years ago I took some courses. One was a 
meditation course, another was a mind power course, and a third 
had to do with utilizing the power of the subconscious.  At some 
point in all three courses one person asked this question: can I 
use this to win the lottery or in the stock market? Each time they 
were told 'no' in a few different ways.  And to be honest, for 
awhile I even believed that myself.  But then I got suspicious 
because they tell you that you can do all kinds of incredible 
things, but not that one. Everybody seems to steer you away from 
it. It becomes especially interesting when you see that very same 
person buying a lottery ticket.  What they're telling you is that 
you are allowed to buy a lottery ticket but not allowed to use all 
the resources that you have available to you to make that piece of 
paper worth anything.  Winning the lottery has turned out to be my 
smallest achievement but my biggest step because I finally got it 
through my thick skull that I am not a helpless little thing that 
God has forgotten about.  I can do anything that I believe I can.  
I'm going to show you something tonight that will do far more for 
you than the lottery ever will, and if you use it you won't need 
the lottery."
I helped him clean up the broken glass and then continued with the 
"I had just gone to bed and closed my eyes when I noticed a flash 
of light.  I knew who it was. Slightly turning my head and opening 
one eye, I could see Sneaky sitting on the edge of my bed."
"'Why didn't you come before I went to bed?' I asked him."
"'I thought you might like a bedtime story, like when you were 
"'I remember your bedtime stories and the way I remember them, 
they were more like lectures.'"
"I knew he was up to something; I could feel it."
"'They always made you fall asleep and have good dreams, didn't 
I looked at Neena and then at Danny. "By the way, have you noticed 
something strange about the way Sneaky talks?"  They shook their 
"Come on now, he talks exactly the way I do.  He uses the same 
words and has the same speech patterns.  Don't you find that 
"'I thought that it was just the way you were telling the story.' 
Neena said."
"'Not at all.  You might want to keep that in mind.  Anyway let's 
get back to where I left off.'"
"I agreed to listen to Sneaky's bedtime story, laid back, and 
closed my eyes."
"'Once upon a time there was a little boy whose only friend was an 
angel.  All their time was spent together playing, laughing, sword 
fighting, climbing trees, and talking about making the world a 
better place, full of Love and fun.  Many of their days were spent 
searching for treasure at the garbage dump. Of course the angel 
always found the best treasure.'"
"'Many of their days were spent on the lake in a small rowboat, 
where they could talk for hours without anyone hearing them.  They 
would ride the big waves that the larger boats made and laugh.  
The boy was happy there.  One day the little boy told his angel 
friend to leave and never come back. The boy said 'Because of you, 
everyone hates me and they think I'm stupid and crazy.'  This was 
a sad day for both of them.  But what the boy did not know was 
that when he angrily sent the angel away he also turned his back 
on Love. Not allowing any Love into his physical being nor 
believing in Love created more and more pain.  This pain grew as 
he got older.  The boy, now a man, tried many things to fix what 
was wrong but he did not know he was starving from a lack of Love.  
And no matter how much Love the angel sent, the Love would not go 
in, for his heart was closed.'"
"Sneaky paused for a moment."
"'Now the angel never actually left the boy's side but just made 
himself invisible, because the angel knew that someday the boy 
would change his mind. Sure enough, years later he did.  And 
together again, they decided to write a book about Living on 
"'You're dreaming, buddy.  I'm not telling anybody anything.' I 
tried to ignore him and let myself drift into sleep.  I only 
remember what I faintly heard."
"'One day the boy, now a man, won the lottery and with that money 
he purchased a nice cabin in the woods where he spent much of his 
time writing about Love and the reality of life.  One day as the 
man was walking in the woods he saw a girl talking to the trees.'"
"'They say the boy who talks to angels and the girl who talks to 
the trees lived happily ever after.'"
"'Forget that. How much did I win?' I asked, not sure whether it 
was out loud or just in my head."
"He must have moved closer. I was just at the point of dozing off 
when I heard him loud and clear."
"'Dreams create believers and believers create.  You may want to 
watch for the tent, and the spots on her back.  She obviously 
knows you very well, otherwise she would not need to make it that 
Neena almost busted her gut laughing. Danny followed with his own 
tears of laughter. I had to laugh a little myself even though I 
didn't think it was that funny.  I wasn't even sure exactly what 
Neena thought was so funny. I thought, 'she knows something I 
don't.' She managed to get herself under control for a few seconds 
and then she would break out in laughter again. This went on for 
quite a while.  I couldn't help laughing myself just watching her 
"You men are all the same." Neena wiped the tears from her eyes.  
I was holding my stomach because it was hurting from laughing so 
"You couldn't see a stick in the mud if you tripped over it," she 
said in a condescending tone. "Just imagine at some time before 
you were born you both decided to meet up sometime during your 
lifetime. Just to make sure that you would be able to get it 
through your thick skull, she felt she needed to put a sign on her 
back so that there was no chance of you missing it."
She still had a big grin on her face. I was trying to find a way 
to fire back.  I looked at Danny.
Danny looked at her.  "Why should it be up to him? Maybe if she 
got her act together she'd be able to find him."  I thought it was 
a good response and nodded my head.
"You men are so blind that you couldn't see her even if you 
tripped over her."  She broke out in laughter again. There was no 
sign at all that she was trying to hold it back, so Danny and I 
decided to have our own conversation.
"You haven't by chance found her?" Danny tried to say it loud 
enough so I could hear him over Neena's laughter, which made her 
laugh ever harder.
"I think I have. There are still some questions that I haven't 
totally worked out yet."
"So you've seen her, but haven't actually met her?" he asked.
"Something like that. It's been over two years since Sneaky told 
me that bedtime story. At that time I wasn't interested, but later 
on I started wondering about the implications of what he had told 
Danny had a puzzled look on his face. Neena had settled down but 
was still grinning from ear to ear.
"So now we come to the chicken parts." She was obviously enjoying 
this to the utmost.
"It's not that. I don't know exactly how to explain it, but our 
future, our present, and our past are never complete. They can be 
changed at any time. I know this sounds strange and in some ways 
impossible but towards the end of the story there is a really good 
example.  Now just for a minute accept the possibility that as we 
live our lives we have the ability to change our life experience. 
A lot of it has to do with what we fully believe.  For instance, 
take Danny winning the sports lottery.  It may or may not be in 
his life experience as it is set in place right now but if he 
believes that it is possible, he switches into a new probability 
and is able to play the sports lottery the way I showed him, and 
"What does that have to do with this woman?"
"When Sneaky first said this to me, I ignored it. Later I started 
thinking about it and in a sense also began believing it for 
various reasons, perhaps because I wanted to.  I started searching 
around in different probabilities and I found her. Then I found 
her here in the physical probability, or the physical experience 
that I am in now. Actually she's a lot closer than I expected.  
But there are still of unanswered questions.  To find her in the 
first place, instead of traveling into the future, I traveled in 
the present and probable present realities, which I will explain 
later.  I went back several times. Sometimes she seemed to be 
there and other times not.  Was she actually there or did she get 
placed there in this probability after Sneaky made the suggestion 
and I accepted the belief?  This is exactly what causes the 
physical experiences that we experience.  Beliefs are directly 
linked to our physical experience."
Neena was shaking her head as Danny said,  "That's confusing as 
hell but I still don't see why that has anything to do with 
whether you actually go and talk to her."
"It's complicated." I shook my head. "When Sneaky made that 
suggestion it doesn't mean that it was the reality at the time. He 
may have just flung that reality at me.  Just because it has 
become a part of my physical reality or experience doesn't mean it 
is part of hers."
Neena touched her cheek. "You might be right!  Two stubborn thick-
sculled people in the same room at the same time could cause some 
complications. Especially if she is as big a chicken as you are."
"So how did you manage to find her in real life?" Danny asked.
"Actually I've known her for over twenty years.  The problem is 
that I have conflicting information.  This could be just be his 
twisted way of getting me to spend more time studying time and 
probable events."
"Just thinking about this is giving me a headache. Can I have 
another scotch?" I asked.
"Sure, no problem." Danny chuckled to himself.

One Battle Too Many

I have been a warrior
For as long as I can remember.
I have stood my ground,
I have fought the universe, God and country
And the dragons inside.
I am so good
At times I have even cut myself
And as the last warrior in me
With a tear in his eye
Lays down his sword
I ask, now what?

Chapter Twenty-One

"The next morning I woke up in a good mood. Dreaming about winning 
has a tendency to put me in a more receptive mood in the mornings.  
Still lying in bed, I was thinking about what to do today when I 
noticed a soft glow coming from the hallway.  I was hoping it was 
the sun coming up but I could see from my window that it was 
cloudy.  Sometimes you know it's going to be a long day just by 
how it starts."
"I slid out of bed and staggered down the hallway.  Sneaky was 
waiting for me in the kitchen."
"'Have a good sleep?' he asked."
"'I guess so, I think I did.'  I rubbed my eyes."
"'You might want to tell that to your face, it doesn't seem to be 
aware of that.'"
"'Very funny.'  I opened the fridge to see if there were any eggs 
"'So, where do you want to start today?' he asked."
"'I want to start with breakfast that's where, so back off. I need 
time to ease myself back into the world.'"
"'Boy, talking to you in the morning is like grabbing a bear by 
the lips!'"
"I didn't respond. About that same time Rudy came in through his 
doggy door and the two of them sat in the kitchen and minded their 
own business while I finished making breakfast. I put my toast on 
my plate and set the plate on the table, and gave Rudy his usual 
half slice of toast. Not that he ever eats it; he just licks the 
butter off. Rudy took his toast and went outside while I sat down 
to eat my breakfast.  Sneaky just sat there staring. Finally I 
gave in." 
"'OK, I'd rather listen to you talk then sit there burning holes 
in my eggs with your staring.'  I said."
"'I was just wondering if you were going to put some Love in your 
food?' He asked with a smirk on his face."
"I put my fork down and rolled my eyes. 'What's the point of that? 
I'm just going to eat them anyway and so it will come right back. 
Besides I have no idea what the hell you're talking about.'"
"'When you send Love into your food when you're preparing it or 
just before eating it, it's absorbed by the food and in many ways 
changes it, increasing the life energy and even improving the 
taste.  The cells in your body are able to absorb this Love, and 
food filled with Love has a lot of healing properties.  You'll 
find it easier to digest, it will give you more energy, and you'll 
find it more calming, but most of all you'll be adding Love 
directly to your physical body.'"
"A thought occurred to me about the same time that he said this.  
What if he had something to do with the fact that I was having 
trouble getting the correct game results and therefore not doing 
very well with my sports lottery wins?  Perhaps I should play 
along just in case."
"'I have no idea how to do this,' I answered. 'I've never read 
anything about this or heard anyone mention sending Love into your 
"'That's because people are not yet aware of the power of Love or 
how it can be used.  Love is one of the most powerful things in 
the universe.  Would you agree with this?'"
"I nodded and said, 'I guess so, but that doesn't help anything 
because whoever or whatever controls and directs Love doesn't seem 
to be around.'"
"'But you are around; actually several billion of you.  People 
have the ability to send Love, massive amounts of Love, to 
anything and anywhere.  Think of the possibilities! Let's start 
with your eggs.'"
"'Look!  I just want to eat my breakfast, so whatever it is you 
want me to do, just tell me and let's get on with it.'  I started 
to get a little irritated."
"Now we're getting to the interesting stuff." Neena said.
"I agree, this is what the whole story is about, but it gets 
"Can you use Love for the lottery?" Danny grinned from ear to ear.
"Probably, but I'm not really sure. I know you can use it for 
money, but I'll explain that later."   
"So what happened next?" Neena asked.
"'Just close your eyes and use your imagination to follow my 
directions.'  Sneaky said.  'It's not important that you have your 
eyes closed. It will just be easier for you until you get the feel 
of it.'"
"I closed my eyes, relaxed, and followed his instructions."
"'Just imagine that there is a light in your upper chest near your 
heart and imagine it growing brighter and brighter, radiating with 
Love.  Breathe slowly and deeply, filling your lungs with air. 
Breathing is important.  Now let the light have a nice steady 
glow, like the glow you see from a candle, only much larger. Let 
it become more radiant and begin to surround your whole body. 
That's it, the sensation you're getting in your chest is all 
right, that is your heart opening. Now imagine sending a beam of 
Love from this glowing area to the food on your plate.  Good.  
When you sense it is enough, then just let go and open your eyes, 
bringing yourself back into the present moment. There you go.'"
"I opened my eyes and said, 'That was easy. Are you sure this 
makes a difference?'"
"'More than you can imagine, my friend.  One day there will be 
restaurants and coffee shops specializing in food that are filled 
with Love. Food that is filled with Love will do more for you than 
any food you now might consider health food.'"
"I had started eating again while Sneaky was babbling away."
"'Hey, this seems to taste better.  It's almost like it has more 
flavor!  Are you sure this isn't my imagination?"
"'Absolutely! When scientists discover that Love has a physical 
form and that it actually has a particle that exists everywhere at 
the same time. It won't take long for them to figure out that the 
amount of Love in the food is directly linked to its life energy 
and its healing and life sustaining qualities.  And that's only 
the tip of the iceberg.'"
"'Interesting.' I said."
"'If you do the same thing to your food before putting it away, 
you will find that it also keeps much longer.'"
"When I looked up from my plate he was gone. I washed my dishes 
and sat down in my favorite chair in the living room."
"I'm going to have to try this out," Neena looked at Danny. "Would 
you please get me a small glass of orange juice?"
"Good idea." Danny poured her orange juice.
"Okay, let me see." Neena sipped her orange juice and closed her 
eyes.  Danny and I watched in anticipation.  I smoked my cigarette 
while Neena sent Love into her glass.
She opened her eyes and took a sip of her orange juice, and then 
another before she put the glass down.
"You know what?  I think it works! It seems to taste more orange, 
more like it was freshly squeezed."
"It definitely does make a difference," I said, "I've played with 
this over the last two years and had some really interesting 
results. I'll give you some examples.  The day after Sneaky told 
me about this; I was going to a farewell party for a friend. Each 
of us had to bring some kind of food to the party and I decided to 
try a little experiment.  The next morning, I went to the bakery 
and bought some cookies. I put them on two identical plates, then 
I marked the bottom of one plate with a felt marker, and spent 
about 15 to 20 minutes sending Love to the cookies on that one 
plate.  I figured if a little bit is good then a whole lot more 
will be better, which is not always correct when it comes to Love. 
I took both plates to the party and set them both side by side on 
the table. When people started eating the cookies they reached for 
the ones that I had sent Love to first! Two people reached over 
the other plate to get to the plate of cookies that I had sent 
Love to. All the cookies were eaten because they were very good 
cookies, but the ones that I had sent Love to were gone long 
before anyone started on the ones on the other plate."
"That's really interesting. Did you try anything else?" Neena 
"Over the years I've done a lot of experiments like this at 
different parties. The results are always the same. Even if I 
didn't bring the food I noticed that the minute I take something 
and send Love to it people seem to immediately go for it without 
ever knowing what's going on.  Sometimes when I go to a restaurant 
I don't wait for the food to get to my table before I send Love.  
I do it as soon as I order it.  I also send Love to the waitress 
and to the cook.  This really makes a big difference. Many times I 
get a huge plate of food...even though someone else orders the 
same thing, they just get a small amount on their plate while mine 
is literally heaping over. Many times I get my food faster and 
sometimes before others who ordered before me.  All kinds of 
interesting things happen every single time.  If I don't send 
Love, then everything basically stays normal and many times is 
less than satisfactory, even though I'm not very fussy. Once you 
start to see these little miracles and get used to them, you seem 
to miss them when they're not there.  When I don't send Love, it 
feels and tastes like something is missing.  You'll just have to 
try it for yourself.  It really doesn't take much effort."
"What if I were to send Love to the food before I serve it to 
someone?" Danny asked.
"That's a good question. The thing about Love is that it's 
unpredictable. You'll never know exactly what the results will be.  
So you'll just have to try it and see for yourself. But I can tell 
you that you will be pleasantly surprised and you will also 
probably have a return customer."
"Can I do this with drinks?" Danny asked.
"Of course, and you should.  From here on I rather expect it."


Ever so slightly she said, I could easily fall in Love with 
I said thank you but will you Love all parts of me?
What do you mean? She asked
If you open your heart to all there is, all life
All experiences, all people, and to yourself
Then you will actually be in Love.
And no matter what I have done or not done
Will do or not do, will be or not be
Your heart will always be open
And perhaps in time my heart will learn to do the same.
At this she turned away, swearing never to return
But I know differently.
For Love has a soul mate named Trust
And at times they seem to be apart
But this is only an illusion
For they are inseparable.

Chapter Twenty-Two

"Sneaky didn't show up for at least four or five days, which gave 
me the opportunity to go back to my betting and daily routine.  
After a few days I was getting pretty frustrated. It was taking an 
enormous amount of time and effort and I wasn't getting the 
results that I wanted or what I had before.  Even though I know 
now what the problem was, at that time I had no clue.  Problems 
aren't hard to solve if you know what is causing them, but if you 
can't see it even though it's right in front of you, you're sort 
of like a pickle in a jar."
"I forgot to mention this earlier.  Before Sneaky disappeared when 
I was having breakfast, he mentioned that I should get some blank 
tapes so that I could make some recordings of various things that 
he was going to teach me about Love and the different things a 
person can do with Love.  I assumed that it was going to be some 
sort of visualization exercise. I was sitting in my chair trying 
to figure out how to straighten out the problem with the bets when 
an idea hit me. The more I thought about it the better it seemed 
and the more I liked it.  What I decided to do was make a 
visualization tape guiding me through a journey into the future.  
I figured that this would help my mind focus on what I want to 
achieve, and at the same time take the pressure off.  I thought 
about it all night and worked out the details, writing out every 
step of the journey.  The next morning I got up early and headed 
to the library to rent a sound effects tape, because I decided to 
make this as real as possible.  I finally got it finished 
somewhere around two or three in the afternoon. Rudy was pacing 
around so I decided to take him for a walk before I tried it out. 
It's a lot easier to relax after you've taken a walk or done some 
kind of exercise."
"What exactly did you put on the tape?" Danny asked. 
"Pretty simple.  First I put some music on the beginning of the 
tape for about five minutes.  That was just to relax. Then I would 
record the visualization that I was standing at a train station 
waiting for the train.  I described what the train station looked 
like.  I also added some sounds that you would hear if you were at 
a train station, like people talking, footsteps, and so on.  Then 
the train would arrive, and I had the sound effect of a train 
coming into the station and stopping.  This was my own private 
train and as I boarded the train and sat down, the conductor would 
come and ask me where I want to go.  I would tell the conductor 
that I wanted to go into the future one-day, and stop at the 
corner store so I could get off and get a newspaper.  I had all 
the sounds in place so as the train left the station and picked up 
speed you could hear it, and also the sound of the train 
traveling.  I even used a cup to make my voice sound like the 
train conductor.  The train would travel for about ten minutes, 
then come to a stop. I would get out of the train, and then I 
would go to the newspaper stand and pick up tomorrow's paper. Then 
I would get back on the train, and on the 10-minute trip back to 
the present, I would read the paper to see the results of the 
games.  The whole thing was approximately 35 minutes long.  I 
figured this would be a lot more fun than trying to focus and 
meditate for two to three hours at a time."
"Did this work?" Danny looked up from his notes.
"We're getting to that.  After Rudy and I got back from our walk 
in the park, I went into the bedroom to try out my new tape.  I 
had put some earphones into those earmuffs that I was using to 
keep out the noise.  I turned the tape down very low so I could 
just barely hear the words and the sounds so that I wouldn't be 
Everything was working perfectly. I got on the train and traveled 
into the future. When the train stopped I got off, purchased a 
newspaper, and brought it back on the train.  I sat down, flipped 
the paper to the sports section and started reading the results.  
It wasn't perfect.  Everything was a little bit hazy, but I still 
could make out some results.  I was fine with that because I 
figured it would get better after I practiced it a few times.  
While I was looking at the results and waiting for the train to 
leave, I heard the conductor yell, "Coming aboard."  I thought, 
'wait a minute that's not what I put on the tape. He should have 
said all aboard.'  Then I heard what sounded like footsteps. 'What 
the heck is going on here?' I wondered.  Then I saw him, walking 
up to where I was sitting. He sat himself down across from me, 
smirking a very mischievous smirk."
"Hey! This is my private train. What the hell are you doing here?" 
I said.  I tried to erase him from the scene but my imagination 
was not cooperating.  He was really starting to irritate me."
"'Trying to erase your guest?  That's not exactly very loving! You 
sure do have a real attitude problem,' he said."
"'This is too weird,' I said. 'How can you see me? How can I see 
you? This is not supposed to be real!  What do you want?' I could 
actually feel my heart beating faster."
"'To answer the first question, you're in a heightened state of 
awareness, and in this state your imagination is a lot more real 
than you think.  Actually you are a lot closer to the real you 
than you normally are in what you call your physical reality.  As 
for the second question, we are going on a little trip where you 
will be able to see things as they are and even the way you want 
to make them.'"
"'You know, my life was going just fine until you showed up,' I 
responded. 'What do you mean by 'the way I want to make things?''"
"'Nothing has begun,' he said, 'and nothing is finished. But I'll 
explain that later.  In the state that you're in now, you can do 
things and see things that normally would seem impossible.'"
"I figured I'd play along, thinking that this information might 
turn out to be useful."
"'So what exactly can I do in this so-called state?' I asked."
"You are in a state of awareness where you are connecting with 
that larger part of yourself. This part is not limited by your 
conscious thoughts of what you can or cannot do.  You can use your 
imagination to link to your greater self and its abilities to do 
anything you want, and create the life you want.  Once you 
understand the process, you'll be able to do it even in your 
normal awake state.'"
"I could feel and hear the train slowing down.  It was just about 
to stop when Sneaky said, 'Demonstration will commence now.  Get 
off the train now!'"
"The second he said that, I was already standing outside the 
train. I wasn't at home; I was standing by a very small pond.  I 
recognized it immediately. When I was little, this pond was huge, 
or at least that's the way I saw it then.  This was one of my 
favorite places.  Hardly anyone ever went there.  Some people had 
told me that it was haunted and a monster was supposed to live 
there.  No other kids would ever go there, even when they were 
chasing me.  I was always safe there.  This is also the place I 
first met Sneaky, or at least that's the way I remembered it now."
I looked at Neena and Danny. "Remember that phrase: 'that's the 
way I remember it now.'  This is really important as far as the 
rest of the story is concerned."
Puzzled, they nodded their heads in agreement.
"I was standing there reminiscing about all the sword fights 
Sneaky and I had there.  Then I saw a small child approaching, 
wildly swinging a stick like a sword.  Holy cow, I thought, that's 
me! I'm so small!  For some reason I didn't think I had ever been 
that small.  I saw myself jumping around swinging a stick sword at 
one tree after another, so full of life.  He walked right up to 
me, pointed his stick at me, and said, 'So where have you been? 
I've been looking for you all day.'"
"I didn't know how to react or what to say.  I just stood there 
staring.  Everything about him spelled trouble and yet he seemed 
to be glowing.  Just then I heard Sneaky say, 'He sees you as you 
see me. Have fun.'"
"'Why are you standing there like an idiot? Surrender or fight, 
you coward!' he said, waving that irritating stick in my face."
"'If you're looking for a battle, then you've found one,' I said, 
turning to avoid his daring slashes.  I broke a branch off a 
nearby tree and the battle was on.  We fought around trees, over 
rocks, behind bushes, and after who knows how much time we finally 
settled down on some rocks.  I was not even sure exactly where we 
had ended up but it didn't matter.  All that mattered was being 
alive and having fun."
"He looked at me.  'Why are people so stupid?'"
"'Are they calling you stupid again?' I asked."
"'Yeah,' he said, looking a lot sadder."
"I was thinking about what to say when my lips started to move.  
It was like I was talking and listening to myself at the same 
"'They're not really stupid.  They just act like that because 
they're scared.'"
"'Scared of what?'"
"'They're scared of everything; scared of not being loved, scared 
of too much Love, scared of dying, of living, of not having enough 
food, scared that others will hurt them or take what they have.'  
The words were just coming out of my mouth and I was listening to 
them the same way as he was.  'They're even scared of what they 
don't have, that others are better than them, of being alone, of 
being with people, of being made fun of, of not being liked or 
accepted, scared that something will go wrong, and sometimes 
they're scared even when things go right.  They're scared of those 
who are not so scared, and most of all, scared of each other.'"
"'So?' he asked with a puzzled look on his face."
"'Fear can drive you to do very unloving things.  It can even 
drive people crazy. It slowly drains all the Love out of life and 
leaves you with anger that can turn into hate.  It all comes down 
to a lack of Love.  Love is the food of the universe and 
everything in it.  Without Love there's chaos, hate, anger, and 
fear.  Where there is Love there is peace, joy, fulfillment, 
trust, and abundance. That's why things are the way they are, it's 
just a matter of not being enough Love.'"
"'Where is all this Love then, and why does no one know how to 
have fun?'"
"'They know how to have fun, they're just afraid and don't trust 
that they can have fun and survive at the same time.  They believe 
work has to be hard and competitive in a win/lose situation.  As 
far as Love is concerned, it's inside you and everyone, waiting to 
be released.'"
"'They think they know everything, don't they?  They should play 
and have fun like we do, then everybody would be happy.'"
"'They've forgotten true Love, and some day you'll forget too."
I looked at Neena and Danny.  "The weird part is that I remember 
having this conversation with Sneaky when I was little, yet at the 
same time I know I was having the conversation with myself, only 
this time I'm the angel.  And if that doesn't bend your mind as 
far as the reality of time is concerned then I don't know what 
They nodded their heads in agreement.
"He jumped up and started swinging his stick wildly in the air, 
yelling.  'No, never! No matter what they do, I will fight!'"
"I was just about to say,  'The more you fight it, the more you'll 
become it,' but I'm not sure if the words left my lips because 
with a real jolt I found myself back in my bedroom.  Dazed and 
still in shock, I could hear someone calling my name.  It was my 
friend Jeff.  I could hear him in the kitchen.  I got up and met 
him halfway down the hallway, I was still half out of it and 
rubbing my eyes."
"'What the heck are you doing, sleeping again?' he asked."
"'Yeah, just having a nap.'"
"'In the middle in the day, he's sleeping.' Jeff shook his head as 
he walked into the living room and planted himself on the couch."
"'I was working on the odds and fell asleep. Then I had a weird 
dream. I see you brought beer.'  I sat down, still trying to 
orient myself.""
"'I'll put it in the fridge.'  He took the beer into the kitchen. 
'You look like shit.  You look like you've seen a ghost.'"
"He walked back into the living room and handed me a beer.  
'You're losing it, buddy.  You'd better stop this time travel 
stuff.'  I just laughed with him, thinking 'if you only knew!'"
"'You keep doing this mind stuff and you'll end up calling out 
horse races from a nice warm padded room, and you'll have it all 
to yourself."  He laughed.
"'Yeah, and you'll be putting money on them!'"
"'As long as you're right.  I'll bring you some cigarettes every 
couple of days.'"
"'What about my share of the winnings?'"
"'Oh, I'll hang onto them for you, no problem,' he smirked."
"We spent the next four or five hours drinking and arguing whether 
it is possible to predict the future.  His argument was that the 
future has not been played out yet and so is unpredictable.  My 
argument is that the future, the present, and the past are one and 
time is an illusion; therefore the future not only can be 
calculated and predicted, but also can be created.  If he weren't 
so stubborn and thickheaded, he'd be able to see that.  Of course 
he thinks I'm the thickheaded one.  He says I'm just lucky.  I say 
there is no such a thing as luck.  He thinks the universe is 
random.  I say there is nothing random in the universe.  He thinks 
I'm full of shit. Well guess what I think.  And on it goes, as 
long as there are players, the game plays."


A thousand variations
Even so it is said
There are only two types of actions
An action of Love
A cry for more Love
But variations
There will be a thousand

Chapter Twenty-Three

I pulled my last cigarette out of my last pack. "You'd better have 
some cigarettes behind the counter or this story is over, which is 
too bad because it's just getting good."
"I don't have any," Danny said as I lit my cigarette.
Neena opened her purse, which was lying on the bar by her left 
hand.  I watched her reach into her purse with her right hand and 
pull out a brand new package of cigarettes.  As she set them in 
front of me I saw that they were my brand.
Danny lifted his eyebrow.
"Now there's my kind of woman: soft, tough, caring, mysterious and 
most of all handy," I said.
"Danny, you might want to make some notes from here on because 
what you're going to learn from the rest of the story is going to 
make you forget all about the lottery.  Are you single?"
He gave me a very puzzled look. "Yes."
"You're not going to be single for very much longer. Scared yet?"
"What if I don't make any notes?" he asked.
"Suit yourself," I answered, "just remember I did warn you because 
I'm not going to repeat it."
"The next day I ran some errands and went to the library to pick 
up some books and tapes on Love.  I wanted to see if I could find 
anything on sending Love.  In some ways this was starting to get 
exciting mostly because I now was sure that I could keep on 
winning and not have to go back to work at something that I didn't 
want to do. I didn't dislike work; it just never seemed very 
satisfying or fulfilling to me.  I really felt alive and felt that 
I had my whole life still head of me to discover what would bring 
me joy.  By the time evening came I had listened to a few tapes 
and read a little.  I started to think about the train ride that I 
had the day before.  I remembered the scene from my childhood very 
clearly now. I remembered Sneaky telling me that I would end up 
becoming everything that I hated in everyone else.  I also 
remembered him telling me that I would forget him and everything 
he had shown me and that I would spend a large part of my life 
looking for Love on the outside and would forget that Love comes 
from the inside.  He had also told me that I would experience life 
with very little Love and that someday this would be a very 
valuable lesson.  In some way it all made sense, but at the same 
time that I didn't have a lot of answers, I did have of questions.  
I decided to write down all my questions so that I could drill 
Sneaky when he came back.  I wrote about three pages and the more 
I wrote the more I realized that I did not have a clue about what 
was going on.  By 11 PM, I was exhausted and dragged myself to 
I stopped for a moment to open the new package of cigarettes that 
Neena gave me.
"So what am I supposed to write in my notes?" asked Danny, holding 
his pen.   
"Just the stuff that is associated with sending Love which we'll 
get back to in a bit."
"Relax, Danny.  Let him tell the story the way it happened." Neena 
"The next morning I woke up in the middle of a dream.  I was 
dreaming that a clown was shaking my bed, and when I opened my 
eyes, Sneaky was standing at the end of the bed. I sheepishly 
looked at my watch.  It said 11:30.  I looked at Sneaky and asked 
if he had woke me up."
"'I just thought I would let you know that Rudy just ran out of 
his doggy door chasing a cat.'"
"I turned over and closed my eyes to go back to sleep.  I was just 
about to doze off again when I heard Sneaky say, 'He didn't stop 
at the fence.  He's running down the road at this very minute.'"
"I jumped out of bed and started putting on my clothes.  'Oh, man, 
why didn't you stop him? I can't afford the two hundred dollars 
for his bail if he gets caught.'"
"'You could call him back with Love instead of running around 
looking for him,' Sneaky said."
"'Why don't you just tell me where he is?'  I was starting to get 
a little grumpy."
"'Why don't you just send Love and see what happens?  Besides, I'm 
not your guardian angel.  It's not my job.'"
"'For an angel, you have a real attitude problem.  And if you're 
not my guardian angel, then what the hell are you?'"
"'Aren't we cranky in the mornings?'"
"'Are you going to help me or not?'"
"'Why don't you use your train visualization to go see him and ask 
him to come home?  Don't forget to send Love.'"
"I stopped for a moment to clear my thoughts.  'Are you sure this 
is going to work?' I pointed my finger at him. 'This had better 
not be part of your twisted sense of humor.'"
"'Just try it. What do you have to lose? I'll walk you through it.  
It's as easy as breathing.'"
I walked into the living room and lay down on the couch, thinking 
to myself that this had better work.     
"'OK, I'm ready,' I said, 'but if he's not back in 15 minutes, I'm 
going after him.'"
"I listened to his instructions and followed them exactly.  
Somewhere along the line I must have fallen asleep again because 
when I woke up Rudy was standing there licking my face and wagging 
his tail.  I'm not sure how long it was until he came home, but 
nevertheless it worked.  During the time I was following Sneaky's 
instructions, I told Rudy that if he came home I would take him 
for a walk.  So I had some breakfast and then took a shower and 
shortly after took Rudy for a walk."
"While Rudy was playing with the other dogs at the park I thought 
about Love and where this Love comes from.  If it is coming from 
me, why would Sneaky say that I was starving for Love in the past 
and that this lack of Love was causing me all this inner pain?  
The more I thought about it the more confusing it became.  The 
only conclusion I came up with was that perhaps there is a massive 
amount of Love inside all of us, but it's in a little sealed 
package that we need to open to release it.  In some ways that 
made sense.  While I was thinking about all of this I suddenly 
realized that I wasn't feeling sad or any inner pain anymore.  And 
that's why lately I've felt so at peace even though financially I 
should be a nervous wreck.  I'm not that sure exactly when this 
change came about.  It's like having migraine headaches forever 
and then one day they're gone.  You get so used to having them 
that perhaps you don't see when they slip away.  I came to the 
conclusion that maybe I didn't notice the change because there was 
so much going on lately.  The other thing I thought about in the 
park was that Sneaky had said he wasn't my guardian angel. So the 
question is, what is he? Every time I see him or think about him 
my instincts keep saying there's something not quite right. I 
couldn't put my finger on it.  But I knew I wasn't seeing things 
as they really are."
"So the only question that remains right now is, do you want the 
instructions, Danny?"  I waited for his reply.
Neena nodded.
Danny shrugged. "I don't have a dog."
"That's not the point. You can use this for a lot of different 
things.  Perhaps someday you might be looking for someone. Perhaps 
someday you might be looking for your son or daughter.  Or you 
might have a disagreement with someone and you can use this to go 
and speak with them and work it out.  The things you can do with 
this are endless.  All you need to do is use your imagination.  I 
even found some lost objects using this method."
Danny sat there thinking. Neena said, "How about the next time 
you're looking for a job? You could use this to meet the person 
who is going to interview you."
"I've done that," I answered, "and it works like a charm.  The 
minute you walk into the interview it will feel like you've met 
before.  And surprisingly, the other person feels the same way.  
There is a catch, though.  Everything you say when you meet this 
person in this mind state must be totally honest, because you can 
lie with your lips but not with your mind. If you are not telling 
the truth it will always be noticed, and that will backfire on 
you.  Been there, done that, didn't work."
"There's one other little catch.  Somebody I know used it to visit 
her lover who was out of the country.  Unfortunately she was so 
positive that he might be cheating that after she visited him a 
couple of times, she actually saw him with someone.  Immediately 
afterwards, she phoned him at work and was able to reach him on 
the construction site.  As it turned out, it wasn't true. You need 
to let go of what you're going to see so that you are not using 
your imagination to create something that is not there.  After 
that everything went so smoothly that he phoned her a few times 
shortly after she had visited him to tell her that he could feel 
her presence.  In the end it became quite a game with them, and 
from what she has told me it has brought them closer together and 
created a inner bond that wasn't there before, even though much of 
their time is spent apart.  So do you want it or not? Make up your 
mind, I haven't got all night."
"So why don't you ask me if I want to hear the instructions?" 
asked Neena with a big grin.
"Because you already know how to do it, and I've figured this 
little game out, so let's just keep playing."  I answered feeling 
a little proud of myself.
"If that's the case, give the instructions and let's get on with 
the story, shall we?"
"Anyway, the important thing is to find a quiet place and make 
yourself really comfortable.  Try to get some of those 
construction earmuffs so that you're not disturbed by any noise.  
Breathe deeply and slowly and bring yourself into a deep state of 
relaxation.  Give yourself some time to do this.  And at the same 
time bring your focus and attention to listening to your inner 
self, or soul, or God, whatever you want to choose for yourself.  
I still believe that this is the fastest way of getting the mind 
to become quiet, because you are putting all your attention into 
listening for something that you can only barely hear.  When you 
feel you are ready, imagine yourself becoming lighter, and by 
becoming lighter and lighter you are raising your vibration.  Sort 
of like musical notes going higher and higher.  Put a bubble of 
light around yourself as if you are in a balloon and begin to 
float upwards.  As you do this, imagine that you are floating to 
wherever you want to go.  This will only take a few seconds.  Time 
and distance means nothing to the mind or your consciousness.  
Don't allow yourself to see whatever or whoever it is you want to 
see. Don't concern yourself with the surroundings unless that is 
important to you.  It's important to send Love and surround and 
fill whoever or whatever you are visiting with Love. You may want 
to surround yourself with Love also.   Now if you want to 
communicate with them, do so, but in a very loving manner.  Be 
sure to listen.  You may or may not hear actual words, but you may 
get impressions in your thoughts of what this other person may be 
telling you.  Be honest...tell it like it is.  Whatever you do, do 
it from your heart, not from your ego.  If you've made promises, 
stick to them.  When you're done, slowly bring yourself back.  
Before getting up, take time to think about what you said or 
"For instance, if you consciously talk to someone, they may not 
know it, and there is a good chance they will not, but you are 
talking to a part of them and in some way their subconscious will 
make every effort possible to relay this information to their 
conscious mind.  This may come for them in the senses or feelings 
or intuition.  You do not need to be afraid of interfering with 
someone's privacy because at every stage of each person's 
development, those areas will be dealt with and handled by the 
larger part of each person involved, depending on the relationship 
you have with this person.  Have fun, share Love."
"This exercise will take at least twenty minutes.  At first it 
will most likely take longer because of the extra time needed to 
become totally relaxed.  By relaxed I mean that your body should 
be asleep to the point where you can't feel it any more.  That is 
when you will probably get the best results. " 
"Later on, after you have had some experience with this you can 
change the method and perhaps use an imaginary train to get where 
you want to go.  But at first I suggest that you use the bubble of 
light instead so that you are not engaging too much of your 
"And remember you're not always right. No one ever is."
"So is that it?" Danny asked.
"Yea, when pigs fly."


Relationships are sort of
Like grabbing a bull
By the horns
But if there's Love, trust, and intimacy
From both sides,
You might just come to see
Eye to eye.
Oh, all the snorting
And head spinning…
I hate that when that happens.
The things you gotta do
For a kiss on the lips.

Chapter Twenty-Four

"Let's get back to the rest of the story," I said. "On the way 
home from the park, Rudy and I stopped at the store to purchase 
some cigarettes and the sports odds for that day.  On the way back 
to the house I thought about my financial situation.  I had enough 
money to buy groceries, gas and cigarettes but not really enough 
to pay the bills. No matter how good I felt, I thought if I didn't 
get all those bills caught up, sooner or later the shit was going 
to hit the fan."
"When we got home I decided to make a small change on my 
visualization tape with the train ride. I decided that after 
taking the train to the future and reading the paper that I would 
just continue with the train and see where it would take me. Most 
of the bets didn't need to be in until six or seven that night 
which gave me plenty of time. After changing the tape, I had a 
little snack and headed for the bedroom.  Everything went smoothly 
and perfectly.  I got off my imaginary train, picked up the paper, 
got back on the train, and opened the paper to read the results 
while waiting for the train to continue. I could see the results 
of the games perfectly.  It was amazing. I could read the entire 
paper as if I had just bought it in reality.  I heard the 
conductor yell 'all aboard' and felt the train begin to move. I 
was quite excited by how things were turning out.  Then I noticed 
that the train seemed to be going faster and faster.  I looked to 
see where the conductor was, but couldn't see him.  I tried to 
slow the train down but it wouldn't.  I thought this was weird, 
this is my imagination, so I should be able to control this. Then 
it hit me: Sneaky is at it again! Suddenly the train made a dead 
stop. The conductor walked past and said 'We have arrived.'  As I 
got off the train I found myself standing in what seemed like a 
courtyard, like a temple.  It was very beautiful.  Everything 
seemed to be made of crystals or pure light. Everything definitely 
seemed to glow with light.  I couldn't see a sun, but there was an 
incredible amount of very bright but not blinding light.  At the 
same time everything seemed to be a little bit hazy. I wasn't sure 
whether the light caused this or if I wasn't seeing correctly. It 
was a lot like dreaming, but the best way I can describe it is 
that I was totally aware and consciously awake. As I stood there I 
realized the place was filled with Love.  It was so thick with 
Love that I could feel Love flowing into my lungs as I breathed. I 
could touch it, feel it, sense it; it was incredible. It was like 
someone dunked me in liquid Love.  I never felt anything like this 
before.  I was stuffing this Love into my body, and don't even 
bother asking me to explain that. I just kept shoving it down into 
my body and filling myself more and more. I was so totally 
absorbed in trying to get all the Love I could that I didn't 
notice when the beings had appeared in front of me.  I looked at 
them and for a split second felt a little guilty for being such a 
pig.  But their response was to send me more Love. I felt totally, 
absolutely and unquestionably loved by them. I couldn't see them 
very clearly, but I came to the conclusion that one of the three 
of them was Sneaky.  Then I noticed there seemed to be one more 
standing behind the three. I got the impression that they were 
shielding me from the being that was behind them because he seemed 
to be glowing so brightly that he was almost on fire. I looked 
towards the being that I thought was Sneaky and in that same 
moment I saw Sneaky's face.  Instantly another being moved 
directly in front of me and took what appeared to be a sword and 
stuck it into the top of my head and shoved it down to the bottom 
of my spine.  There was no pain, and it all happened so fast that 
I just stood there.  As soon as he had pushed the sword in he 
pulled another and shoved it into my forehead, sending it out the 
back of my head, then another through my temples and another into 
the center of my chest.  I felt like I was opening and more Love 
was flowing in.  Maybe because of that I didn't react.  I just 
felt that everything was OK.  Then I noticed that they were not 
swords at all, but seemed to be rods of light. I was just standing 
there letting the Love pour into me. The next thing I remember was 
being back in my room. The first thing I did was write down the 
bets that I wanted to make.  Looking at the clock, I realized I 
only had ten minutes to get those bets in, so I headed straight 
for the store."   
"When I watched the results of the games later that night, I saw 
that I had won enough to tide me over for at least a couple more 
weeks. But somehow it wasn't important because I felt so good."
I stopped for a moment. "I could sit here for the next two hours 
and try it to describe how fantastic I felt, but there are no 
words to describe the feeling of being filled with Love.  I 
wouldn't even know where to begin."
"Wow!  So how do I get there?" Danny asked.
"That's not the point. I'm going to show you how to do that 
yourself, there's a whole universe of Love locked up in a little 
tiny box in each of us and all we need to do is open it.  This 
must be one of the best-kept secrets.  It's almost like humanity 
has been steered away from actually finding this.  I don't know 
who or what is responsible for hiding this ability we have, which 
should be ours to use and share.  Have you ever noticed when you 
watch a scary movie that in some manner or another, they're always 
trying to convince you that Love has very little power?  That's so 
ridiculous that it's not even funny.  That's like telling somebody 
that the firecracker you are holding is only going to make a 
little noise.  Just let me finish telling the rest of the story 
and you'll see what I mean."
Neena started rubbing my back.  "How about making us some tea 
Danny Klaus is getting a little worked up."
"Is it that obvious? Actually, some tea would be quite nice."
They say that the best way to a man's heart is through the 
stomach, which is fairly true, but in my case a nice back rub 
works about ten times as fast.

Inner Love

Inner Love is a
Natural experience
But when we cover
It with fear,
Anger, mistrust, and shame
We search for it in

Chapter Twenty-Five

"It was at least a week before Sneaky came back.  During that week 
I made several bets and took several train rides.  I was having 
reasonably good results even though not as good as when I first 
started with all of this.  But it was enough to put some money 
into my pocket and get me by for a little longer.  I was also 
offered a job out of the blue, which I decided to turn down. It is 
hard to say whether I made the best decision. I didn't want to 
work at something that I would not enjoy doing just to survive.  
That's a very fast way to turn life into a grueling experience.  
Besides there's no point in grabbing the bull by the horns if you 
don't want to be thrown around a little.  On top of that I was 
feeling so fantastic for the first time in my life that I was not 
going to screw it up for anything.  As the week started to wind 
down I noticed that the amount of Love seemed to be diminishing.  
Perhaps it was being used up.  I had made several attempts to 
return to this temple, but each time I would end up somewhere 
else. By the end of the week I was back to how I felt before.  
There was no doubt about it, I was definitely running out of 
"I was just returning from one of my train trips when I opened my 
eyes, Sneaky was standing at the end of my bed."
"'Hey, it's about time you showed up!' I sat up in my bed."
"'Running out of Love, are we?' he asked."
"'Let's go back there!'"
"'Not so fast!' he grinned, 'it's up to you to give yourself that 
"'Why can't I get anymore from there? Wherever there is.'"
"You can, but it's better that you learn that the Love you now 
want lies inside you and all you need to do is learn to open the 
"'What do you mean? I don't get it.'"
"'When you fall in Love, you begin to radiate with Love, and you 
get all the feelings that go with it.  But in fact the Love comes 
from inside you, from the being that you truly are.  In a sense, 
you are using falling in Love with someone as a trigger mechanism 
to open your heart to the Love that is inside you. It is possible 
to fall in Love with someone who is not in Love with you and still 
feel all the Love, because actually the Love comes from inside of 
you. Just because you may not be in Love with one particular 
person at this present time, it doesn't mean that you cannot have 
Love and feel Love and be surrounded with Love.  The reason you 
can send Love to your food or another person or the environment or 
whatever it may be is because there is an endless and infinite 
supply of Love in you waiting to be opened.  We thought that it 
might be best to give you a demonstration to show you what is 
"I took a few minutes to think about it.  There's no doubt in my 
mind that I was suckered, hook, line, and sinker, but what choice 
did I have?  I just had one of the best weeks of my life and I 
wasn't going to let it slide by."
"So are you going to show me how or are you going to just stand 
there and blabber about it?"
"Glad to have you aboard again."  Sneaky grinned from ear to ear.  
"You might want to get a blank tape and record this for yourself.  
It will work the first time, but if you want to have as much as 
you had last week it will take a little practice."
"I don't know why I ended up with an angel who has a rotten sense 
of humor.  I got my tape recorder and a blank tape and we made the 
recording.  Sneaky told me what to say, then I recorded it onto 
the tape.  After the tape was finished Sneaky disappeared again.  
I didn't bother trying it out that day but the next morning I 
cashed in some winning tickets and picked up some groceries. It 
looked like the weather was going to turn cold."
"From here on, it's not easy to explain in words everything that 
happened, and everything may not be totally in the right order, 
but I'm sure you'll get the drift."
"I tried listening to the tape twice, but I stopped using it 
because it was so easy to do that I felt I didn't need the tape.  
I got results the very first time, but not what I had felt on that 
particular week. I figured if a little bit is good then a whole 
lot must be better; maybe all I needed was a little more practice. 
I decided to give it all I had. And that's exactly what I did for 
the next nine days. Opening my heart and radiating Love is 
basically all I did. I would spend an hour doing it then I would 
take a break for perhaps one hour and then do it again.  This is 
something that you may want to think about before you do it to 
that extent. It's best to start off slowly.  That way you will get 
used to the things that are going to transpire.  Love is very 
addictive, and the better I felt, the more I did it. I wanted to 
see if there really was a limit on how much Love a person could 
feel. It just never occurred to me that it would affect everything 
and everyone around me."
"The first few days were fairly cold, so I spent all my time 
indoors filling myself with Love and radiating it out.  During 
those first few days I didn't take Rudy for his daily walks 
because of the weather.  I was feeling really great and at peace. 
There was a deep inner joy that seemed to flow to the surface. 
Even though I was alone and had no company during this time I was 
not lonely. I felt very loved and more connected to the world, yet 
at the same time unaffected by what seems to go on in the world. 
The more Love I filled myself with, the more these feelings 
increased. Any emotional pain from the past seemed to just slip 
away. I'm hardly doing it justice, but unfortunately I just don't 
have the words to describe something so beautiful." I shrugged my 
"After a few days the weather warmed up and I started taking Rudy 
for his daily walks. That's when I noticed things were different. 
At first I couldn't really put my finger on it because there were 
so many little things that were slightly different. Everything 
seemed brighter, more alive, and more colorful.  The air seemed to 
be full of life. During the first few days there weren't many 
people in the park walking their dogs, so what started to happen 
didn't really sink in until a few days later. At first I noticed 
that there seemed to be birds following us wherever we walked. Not 
a lot of birds, just a few. Another thing I noticed is that as 
soon as other people's dogs saw me, they would run towards me and 
literally try to jump on me. This doesn't sound strange except 
that most of the dogs are usually interested in playing with the 
other dogs and don't pay much attention to the humans in the park. 
Also I noticed that people began to be extremely friendly, much 
more than they normally were, almost in a flirtatious way.  It 
wasn't as bad as the time in the supermarket the day after I first 
met Sneaky, but it was slowly getting like that. In some way I saw 
what was coming and in another way I didn't believe it. So I 
decided to just keep going and see what happened. As the days went 
by it got more bizarre each day. Women started flirting with me 
aggressively, in some cases even using their bodies.  It's like 
the walls came down and personal space became nonexistent. Even 
men were acting strange, almost like we were buddies for a very 
long time. If I stopped and talked to someone, other people would 
join in, which isn't all that bizarre by it's self except that 
everyone's attention seemed to be focused on me. People seemed to 
do a lot of physical touching while they were talking to me. Let's 
face it: people in a city do not touch strangers in the park.  
There is usually a certain distance that is maintained by 
Danny looked at me in disbelief.
"You don't have to believe anything I tell you, Danny, but there 
is no reason for me to lie. You can experience this yourself very 
easily if you want to. It gets even more bizarre. A friend of mine 
asked me to go for a drink with him after he got off work. We 
decided to meet at a certain bar. I managed to get there about 
twenty minutes before him. The bar where we were going to meet is 
fairly large and it was happy hour. There were a lot of people 
there. I walked in looked around and didn't see him. I found 
myself an open spot at the bar and ordered a drink. While I was 
waiting, I decided that I might as well continue to fill myself 
with Love and radiate it out. Within fifteen minutes women started 
to migrate to where I was sitting. I decided to stand and gave my 
chair to one of the women that was standing very close. By the 
time my friend came into the bar I was totally surrounded with 
women. I'm telling you the truth. They were packed around me like 
we were in a crowded bus. If they had all known each other, I 
could have told myself that I was just standing at the right place 
at the right time, but that wasn't the case. When I saw my friend 
coming I managed to squeeze myself out of that very tight 
situation and we went to the other side of the bar.  He had seen 
where I came from and made some comments about why I didn't stay 
there. We spent the next few minutes talking and joking back and 
forth.  Within a few minutes we were surrounded with women. My 
friend was having a pretty good time and when I finally decided it 
was time for me to get out of there, he was too busy to even 
consider objecting to my leaving so early. I'm a very quiet person 
and prefer to be in small groups. I wasn't used to having that 
much attention and some of these women really seemed to mean 
business. On the way home I decided to stop at the grocery store 
and pick up a few things, and that turned out to be a repeat of 
the first time. I was very happy to get home and sit in my 
favorite chair without being mauled. I was thinking to myself that 
there was no way I could go through life like that. That twit of 
an angel should have told me that there would be side effects."
"Then I heard a voice.  'Side effects?'"
"As I turned my head I saw Sneaky sitting on the sofa."
"Yeah, side effects," I said. "People were downright friendly.  
You should have told me there were risks involved."
"That must have been all he could take because he broke out in 
laughter and laughed so hard he disappeared."
"I guess it was pretty funny, although I wasn't laughing at the 
time. About an hour later Sneaky came back and took one look at 
me.  He smiled and I thought I heard some laughing just as he 
disappeared again.  Later that evening I decided for some strange 
reason to organize all my bills and stack them in a nice little 
pile. This is not one of my normal activities so I assumed that 
this idea came from Sneaky. By the time I was ready for bed they 
were all sorted into a stack about four inches high."
I took a sip of my tea and excused myself to go to the washroom.

What to do?

What do you want to do right now?
Would it bring
You and me
More Love and joy?
Then forget the rest!

Chapter Twenty-Six

As I came out of the washroom, I saw that the old man who has been 
sitting at the table was gone.  I was trying to remember if I saw 
him sitting there when I went into the washroom but I wasn't sure.  
Walking back to my chair, I decided that the game was coming to an 
end. Maybe I should have asked where he went and who he was, but I 
didn't think I would get a straight answer so I decided to leave 
it alone.   
I took a sip of tea.  "OK, where was I?"
Danny asked for the instructions for how to surround himself with 
"I'll give you the instructions in a minute," I answered. "But 
first let me tell you how to use it and how it was explained to 
me, so that you won't get yourself into too much trouble.  
Otherwise Neena is going to have to be your bodyguard."
"I'm just going to stand back and watch Danny squirm." Neena 
"Over the next couple of days I stopped working with Love and went 
back to focusing on my bets.  It wasn't going that well even 
though I was still making some money.  It just seemed like there 
was something stopping me."
"A few days after Sneaky's visit, he showed up one morning shortly 
after I had breakfast.  I had been waiting for him to show up and 
as soon as I saw him I asked, 'Why didn't you tell me that I was 
going to turn into some kind of people, bird, and dog magnet?'"
"'I decided to let you see for yourself the power of Love.  You 
wouldn't have believed me if you hadn't experienced it for 
"'What's the point in that?  I can't even go to the store.'"
"'Oh, it's not that bad. Working with Love is an art. It's all in 
how you do it.'"
"'I did it exactly the way you told me to do it.'"
"Let me explain it to you this way. There isn't enough Love in the 
world and people are desperately looking for it, so when you begin 
to radiate with Love, a small imbalance is created.  If everyone 
knew and understood how to open their hearts then you would not 
see the same results, or some of the actions that you observed.  
People would still be drawn to each other and animals would be 
drawn towards people, but it would not be focused on one 
individual in a room.  Do you understand what I'm saying?"
"'Sure, that makes sense, but it doesn't solve my problem of what 
I'm going to do in the meantime, because I don't see the rest of 
the world doing this in the very near future.'"
"'You are going to be pleasantly surprised in a very short time. 
You'll get used to the attention, and after a while it won't 
bother you anymore because you're going to like It.'" he said.  
'All you need to do is make some changes in the way you radiate 
Love.  It's just a matter of getting you to stop whining long 
enough so that I can explain it.'"
"I was going to defend myself, but he had a point. So I sat there 
and listened."
"There are many ways you can work with Love.  When you open your 
heart and radiate Love, you become like a very small sun.  Even 
though other people cannot consciously see this Love they can feel 
it, and subconsciously they know exactly what's happening.  Your 
subconscious will send your conscious mind messages to go towards 
the person who is radiating with Love.  The subconscious can 
communicate this to the conscious mind in many ways, like impulses 
to do something, an attraction for the person radiating with Love 
and so on. Another way for you to play with Love is when you go to 
a meeting or to someone's house where other people will be, you 
can send Love, filling the room with Love before you even get 
there. You can do this for a business meeting, party, family get 
together, or a job interview.  Can you imagine what would happen 
if you had a business that was filled with Love and all the 
employees were radiant with Love?'"
"I nodded. 'It would probably attract a lot of customers.'"
"'You can also send Love directly to people in different ways, 
which will have slightly different results.  You can send Love to 
other people and surround them with Love, like draping them in a 
warm blanket of Love.  Or you can fill them with Love. You can 
also send Love directly to their heart area.  This will do many 
different things depending on the person.  This will help another 
individual to actually open their own heart, for as Love enters 
their heart area, you will most likely find that they will begin 
to glow with Love themselves.  This works very well if you want to 
be closely connected with someone, perhaps a mate or your 
children. We'll be discussing this more later.'"
"'It's starting to get more and more complicated."  I didn't know 
what else to say."
"'Not at all.  Think of a person right now who you feel needs more 
"'If you put it that way, we're talking about everybody in the 
world, Sneaky!'"
He gave me a look.
"'OK, I'm thinking of someone.  Now what?'"
"'Just decide which method would be the best way at this very 
moment to send Love to this person.  You can fill their home with 
Love, send Love to their workplace, surround them with Love, fill 
them with Love, or send Love to their heart center.  Take whatever 
comes to your mind and feels right for the moment. Sometimes even 
two or three different ways will be perfect.'"
"'That's actually pretty easy. Their home is a war zone, so 
filling their home with Love would probably help them work things 
out, or at least prevent killing each other in the process. Am I 
I looked out the window for a minute while I thought about it. 
When I looked back, he had disappeared again.   
Danny was making a few notes so I stopped for a moment to let him 
catch up.
"So is filling yourself and sending Love something like when you 
fall in Love?" Neena asked.
"It's exactly like that. You feel the same things.  You feel good 
all over.  When two people fall in Love they seem to glow. There's 
something different about them and you've probably noticed how 
they also tend to attract people.  Men have said this to me often, 
that when they're with someone in a relationship there seems to be 
women everywhere, yet if they're not in a relationship, attracting 
women seems to be more difficult."
"That all makes perfect sense now," Danny said. "Every time I'm 
with someone and we're feeling really good about each other, I 
seem to attract women and people in general.  I can't believe it, 
it's so simple and the answer has been right there in front of us, 
and nobody caught it.  It makes so much sense I can't imagine how 
we could possibly have missed it."
"There's a reason why this information seems to have eluded 
everyone for centuries, and the answer is pretty scary, but we 
won't get into that right now because it's not going to make any 
difference anymore.  Once people know how to work with Love and 
they see the results, it's going to be impossible to stop."
Danny's eyes opened wide.  "Are you telling me that something or 
someone has kept this information from everyone? Why?"
"Love is the most powerful force anywhere, and we have an endless 
supply of Love.  That means we are not helpless little creatures.  
The nice thing about Love is that it actually has its own 
consciousness. You can only do positive things with Love.  When we 
send Love to another person, the Love will affect that person in 
whatever way is best for them, no matter what you do. Sending Love 
to another person is only the beginning of what you can do with 
it!  The best way to say it is that there is nothing that you 
can't do with Love.  As far as pointing a finger to what is 
responsible for hiding this knowledge the bottom line is that we 
allowed them to do this so in the end it is we who are 
responsible.  Working with Love, playing with Love, is something 
that a child should be taught from the minute they can speak.  
That's the best gift anyone could possibly give."
"Can I have the instructions now?" Danny smiled.
"My pleasure."


Hell is watching your
Dreams die.
Because it's not just your
Dream that dies.
So we might as well
Die chasing our dreams
That way, at least, we have
Lived for something.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

After I finished giving Danny the instructions on how to fill 
himself with Love and send Love out, I gave him a few minutes to 
finish making his notes.
"It was probably four or five days before Sneaky came back. By 
then I had made changes in how I was playing with Love.  This made 
all the difference. People still seemed to be attracted to me, or 
perhaps I should say I was still magnetic to people, but not to 
the extent it was before.  It was at a level that I could handle, 
and I started using humor to create a distance and to better 
handle the people that were coming my direction.  This turned out 
to work very well for me.  I also realized that I could turn it 
off at any time, which for some reason had never dawned on me 
before. When Sneaky came back I was sitting in the living room 
staring at the stack of bills on my coffee table. It was quite a 
"'Wow! That's quite a stack of bills you've collected.' He grinned 
from ear to ear."
"A thought occurred to me.  'When you disappear and I can't see 
you anymore, where do you go?'"
"'The future, the past, the present; it's all the same.'"
"'Any chance you could take me with you?' I asked, hinting that I 
need to get away from these bills."
"'Where I go or how I get there is not the issue.  You'll figure 
that out pretty soon.  Right now we need to deal with some other 
issues, and not only the bills.'"
"'Right now, the only problem I see are these bills, and if you 
take them with you, the problem is solved."
"'I think the main issue right now is that you need to stop 
running from life and running from things that you don't like or 
feel that you can't handle, unless, of course, you want to 
continue the way you've been living.  It's your decision.'"
I stopped trying to be a smart-ass for a minute because I knew he 
was right. I had been running in circles.
"'Have you ever noticed how many things have gone wrong in my 
life? It's like everything is broken.  I don't know what to do 
with my life.  I don't even know anymore what I like to do.  I 
definitely don't want to spend the rest of my life doing something 
I don't like just to survive.  I'm pretty sure that life isn't 
supposed to be that complicated. Is it?'"
"'I know what you're saying,' he said. 'But I can't change your 
life for you, because then it would not be your life anymore.  But 
I can show you how to effectively overcome one challenge at a 
time.  Once an issue or a challenge or a problem...whatever you 
want to call dealt with, they don't come back. But if 
you keep trying to run from them or ignore them, they just pile up 
and you'll have more and more to deal with until it feels 
hopeless. Doesn't this sound familiar?'"
"I was squirming around in my chair because I saw my life as one 
big pile of something, and I could see how it could easily take 
twenty years to straighten all this out, which would be just in 
time for me to kick the bucket."
"Sneaky must have heard my thoughts.  'It's not going to take 
twenty years.'  He was laughing now.  "You have no concept of 
where you'll be in five years, but it shouldn't take you much 
longer to catch on.  There's no point in turning a molehill into a 
mountain. You just take care of it while it's still a molehill.  
Any problem can be solved with Love, even the ones in the past.'"
"'Love or no Love, you can't change the past.'"
"'The past is no more finished than the present moment. The past, 
present, and future are the same. They are only different 
snapshots taken of split moments, and it doesn't matter what order 
you play them in.  You have seen what Love can do; even though 
it's only been a very small demonstration, there's more to come.  
You know you can travel into the future and use that knowledge to 
win your sports lottery.  So why do you think you can't go into 
the past and send Love there and change everything?'"
"I had to think for a moment because he seemed to have a point, 
but I wondered how it would affect the present if I went into the 
past and sent Love to myself.  The concept intrigued me."
"'For now let's just deal with these bills. I'll be back in two 
days, and by then perhaps you will have given the illusion of time 
some more thought.'"
"'Let me guess, you want me to send Love to these bills.  Am I 
right?' I shook my head."
"'Precisely,' he answered. "Take one bill at a time and send Love 
to it, then send Love to the company that you owe this money to, 
then send Love to all the people who are responsible for 
collecting this money and looking after the bills.'"
"'I've never met these people, so how am I supposed to send them 
Love? I don't even know how many there are.'"
"'It doesn't matter. Just use your imagination and send Love until 
you feel you've reached all the people involved. You'll know when 
you're done.  And to answer your next question, just keep at it 
until they are paid.'"
"'I guess this means they're not going to disappear on their 
"'Life can feel like a long process, but once you get the hang of 
it and you've dealt with some of the main challenges, it will be 
fun and exciting.  It won't take very long before you feel you can 
handle any challenge and change it for the better.  You've already 
started.  You needed more Love and now you've learned where this 
Love comes from and what it can do.  In time you will get better 
and better at it.'"
"'Excuse me, but that's not the question I asked.'"
"'Life is like a school and the courses are Love, understanding, 
patience, trust and learning to create what you want with Love.  
So now all you need to do is decide once and for all whether 
you're going to give it all you've got or hide under a rock.'"
"I had a feeling that he was going to try to disappear without me 
seeing how he did it, so I continued to stare at him. I wanted to 
see exactly how he disappeared, whether he just faded away 
gradually or slipped away all at once.  While I was staring at him 
I noticed something strange. I had to look a certain way at him 
and squint my eyes a bit, but it almost seemed like he looked like 
me.  A moment later I had no choice but to blink, and in that 
moment he was gone."
"What happened to the bills?" Danny asked.
"I paid them. I'm not sure how, but eight months later they were 
all paid.  The interesting part was that no one ever called me to 
"What about the fact that Sneaky looked like you?" Neena asked.
"That's a good question. I spent quite a few hours trying to put 
the pieces together, but we'll get to that shortly. Got anymore 


Time is the magician,
That makes the illusion.
Of a billion snapshots,
Look like movement.
Without time
We would be frozen
In the moment.
Which moment?
Every moment.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

"Sneaky came back two days later, just as he had said he would.  
We didn't talk anymore about the bills. I had done what he 
suggested and I assumed he knew that. We did get into a discussion 
about time and reality."
"'Let's get down to the nitty gritty. Why are you stopping me from 
winning the sports lottery?'"
"Sneaky laughed.  'So you finally had the guts to ask me.'"
"'So you admit it.'"
"'No!  No one is stopping you, except you.'  He grinned from ear 
to ear again."
"'Why would I stop myself? That makes no sense.'"
"'You have some conflicting beliefs.  At first you believed 
totally that it was possible, then you began to doubt yourself, 
and immediately you saw the results of your doubts, which proved 
to you that your beliefs are correct, which then resulted in more 
evidence that you were correct.  First comes thought, then comes 
results, positive or negative depending on the thought.'"
"I was trying to think what kind of thoughts or beliefs I had that 
could have been conflicting with what I wanted to achieve."
"'You believed that this was too good to be true and something 
would end up interfering with you.  The more results you got the 
more you started to believe that this was too good to be true.  Am 
I right?'"
"I had to agree because he was right, that's exactly what I was 
thinking, yet at the same time I didn't even realize it."
"'There's one more issue you seem to have forgotten about.'"
"'And that is?'"
"'Which future are you predicting? The future is not written in 
stone and there are endless probabilities.  Past, present, and 
future are the same. What makes them appear different is time.  
Time is the magician that takes a snapshot of a single moment and 
gives them the illusion of movement and of one coming before the 
"'I understand that.'"
"'Not really.  If you had fully understood it you would be looking 
at everything differently.  Your life and everything you see and 
experience are tiny snapshots of reality.  There are billions upon 
billions of them, which you subconsciously sort out in the order 
that you want them to appear, then time takes them and turns them 
into a film which you perceive as continuous moments of past, 
present, and future.  When you believe something or have 
conflicting beliefs, the appropriate snapshots of reality are 
inserted into the film of your life, which you not only watch but 
also participate in.  That means if you can send Love now, here in 
the present, to someone, then you can take the snapshot of what 
you consider the past and send Love to any period of time.'"
"'So how do I figure out which probable future is going to happen 
as far as the games are concerned?'"
"'Everyone who watches the game, plays in the game, and has a 
stake in it, in one way or another decides how the game will be 
played and what the outcome will be.  It's simple: the majority 
rules.  Just tell your mind to show you the most predictable, 
probable future.  Unfortunately changes in the probable future can 
be made minute by minute as the majority changes its mind.  As you 
can see if you are trying to achieve one hundred percent accuracy, 
you are expending an enormous amount of energy, and that is not 
worthwhile.  You could be using that energy to work with Love and 
achieve much greater results.'"
"I was about to ask another question when I realized he had 
already disappeared."
"What he said makes sense," said Danny as he put down my cup of 
tea.  "Except I'm not sure if I understand the snapshot of 
"You don't need to totally understand it." Neena said. "What's 
important is that you understand that each time you have a thought 
or a belief, a snapshot of reality reflecting that thought or 
belief will be placed into the film of your life and you will 
experience it."
"Don't forget the buffer zone." I interjected.
"What's the buffer zone?" Danny asked.
"Not every thought goes into the film, or life would just be 
totally crazy.  So there's a buffer zone. Only the thoughts that 
are directly connected to the beliefs you have that you are 
totally certain about will be placed into the film. But if there 
is a conflicting belief, then either both pictures representing 
the beliefs, or a combination of the two, or neither, will be 
inserted, depending on the strength of those beliefs."
"That makes sense," Danny nodded.
As I added some sugar to my tea, Neena decided she also wanted 
another cup.  Personally I thought it had more to do with having 
Danny serve her.  I'm quite sure she enjoyed that more than the 
tea itself, but then I'm just going by the look on her face.


Patience has never been
One of my virtues.
The thing is, I now wonder
What is the rush?
Mind you I have learned something,
The minute I have patience
For something, it comes
Ten times faster.
Now isn't that odd?
On the other hand,
For crying out loud,
How long
Do I need to wait?

Chapter Twenty-Nine

"I didn't see Sneaky for quite a while after his last visit, which 
was just fine with me because I was starting to burn out.  My son 
came to stay with me over the Christmas holidays which gave me a 
break from the whole routine."
"I thought your son was living with you?" Neena asked.
"He was, but there were some problems and he was getting into the 
wrong crowd, so I thought it was best if he lived with his mom for 
a while. That was long before all this other stuff started 
"Were you still trying to do the bets?" Danny asked.
"I was, but it was kind of on and off. I was trying to spend some 
time with my son. The results were getting very sporadic. One day 
I would be right on and the next day I'd be off by a mile.  I 
spent a lot of time trying to figure out how to change my thoughts 
and beliefs about being able to win.  I had made enough money to 
get over Christmas so I was OK that way.  The bottom line is that 
I had worked very hard at trying to win and working with Love, but 
I was getting very frustrated and needed a break.  One day I saw a 
program on TV about using a chainsaw to carve wood, so the next 
day I went out and purchased a small chainsaw. I went down to the 
river and picked up some logs from trees that the beavers had cut 
down.  I spent the next three weeks either with my son or carving.  
It turned out to be a very good release for the tension that had 
built up in me.  Also it was the first thing in a very long time 
that I really enjoyed doing, and I came to the conclusion that 
perhaps there is more to life than just surviving."
"That was a very confusing time. My whole life seemed to be 
turning upside down, but at the same time I felt better than I 
ever had.  It's like everything was topsy-turvy and yet I had a 
sense of inner peace, and I was probably smiling and laughing more 
in one day then I used to do in a whole month."
"I know what you mean," Neena said.  "When there area lot of 
changes happening in a person's life or inside them there's that 
mid-point where you haven't quite arrived at the new way of life, 
yet everything has changed.  It's like both worlds are mixed 
"That's exactly what it was."
"So how long did it take before everything leveled off?" Danny 
"About another month. After that it was like I was walking on a 
cloud. I still am today.  Everything just seems to click for me 
and comes out in my favor.  I wake up happy in the morning and go 
to sleep happy at night.  Things still happen and every once in a 
while something will go wrong, but it has very little effect on 
me.  Whatever goes wrong, I just add Love to it and within a very 
short time it all turns around and ends up being one of the best 
things that could have happened."
"What do you mean by 'adding Love?'" Danny asked.
"For example, let's say you lost your job, so you send Love to the 
place where you were working and surround yourself with Love.  
Then just take the entire situation and just pretend it's a movie 
and fill the entire situation with Love, even the thoughts you 
have regarding the circumstance.  Just fill them with Love.  The 
end result will be that you end up getting offered another job 
making more money than the one you had.  And maybe you get a 
little time off to relax and reflect on life.  I can give you 
another example.  Someone that I know wanted to learn how to work 
with Love. Three weeks later she was in a car accident. The minute 
the accident was over she decided to send Love into the whole 
scene surrounding all the people that were involved with Love, the 
cars, everything, just like a movie that was radiating with Love.  
This is hard to explain, but if you think about it, you'll 
understand what I mean.  Six months later she married the man in 
the other car, and today they seem happier than two peas in a pod.  
As soon as you work with Love and spend some time filling yourself 
and making yourself radiant with Love, everything ends up having a 
different twist to it.  I can't explain it, all I know is if you 
keep sending Love everything will just end up in your favor when 
it's all said and done.  That's just the way it works."
"Some people probably aren't going to believe that," Danny 
"Probably not, but if they take a chance and give it the benefit 
of the doubt, the results will be there very quickly. After that, 
there'll be no stopping them."
Neena looked at Danny and then at me.  "Our time is running out.  
You need to finish telling your story."
I didn't understand what she meant about their time is running 
out, but I saw the look on her face, which seemed to speak on its 

Another Day

And so another day ends.
But was it really another day?
Are the days different?
Or is it me who's different?
Where does the illusion start?
And where does it stop?
I wonder!

Chapter Thirty

"I almost forgot to tell you this part.  When Sneaky was telling 
me I could go into my past and send Love to my past selves, I 
decided to try it.  At first I only went back to my very early 
childhood, nine years and less.  The reason I chose that time was 
because I grew up without parental guidance, which sounds rather 
strange, but that's the way it was. I had no friends.  This gave 
me a very unique view on life because I didn't have anybody 
telling me that people can't talk to trees or communicate with 
animals.  Actually it's a very natural thing except that nobody 
seems to understand that and so automatically they teach their 
children that this isn't possible.  So the only friends I had were 
the animals and the trees.  You'd be surprised how much knowledge 
trees actually have, especially the older ones.  They know more 
about how the universe works than all the scientists put together.  
The really nice thing about a tree is they never run away. 
Unconditional Love seems to be their life or the essence of what 
they are. I decided that area of my life was a good place to start 
because I knew he needed some company.  The strange thing was that 
whenever I went to see that child self in the past he could see 
me.  We spent quite a bit of time talking.  I told him about 
things that Sneaky had already shown me."
"How did you get yourself into the past?" Danny asked.
"I just used the imaginary train, the same way I went into the 
"I kept doing this for about a year, not every day but several 
times a week. As I moved out of my early childhood and started 
visiting my past self.  As he got older, he didn't see me anymore.  
I would just take myself to the times that were the worst and 
surround him with Love.  I could see the difference it was making. 
As I was doing this, my present self was beginning to change. 
Somehow as I changed, my past changed. I can't really point at 
anything specific, but I know that it's different than the way I 
saw it before."
"Wait a minute," Danny interrupted. "If you were going into your 
past and your past self could see you, how did you look to him?"
"I looked like an angel to him." I answered.
"After our Christmas and New Year's holiday, I drove my son to the 
bus station to go back to his mother.  I'm pretty sure that it was 
January 4, 1996.  It wasn't a pleasant drive. Both my son and I 
were silent.  He didn't want to go and I didn't want him to go 
either.  It was extremely painful, like a piece was being ripped 
out of me.  After seeing my son get on the bus, I drove home.  
Sneaky showed up when I was about halfway there.  I could barely 
see him and hardly hear what he was saying, probably because of 
the emotional state I was in.  I was thinking of all the things 
that I could have done better and of all the things I had done 
wrong to bring things to this point."
"'You know, he's hurting as much as you are,' I heard Sneaky say."
"'Oh, that really makes me feel better.'  I said.  'There's 
nothing I can do about how he feels.'"
"'There's a lot you can do. You'd be surprised how much sending 
Love can heal.'"
"I thought for a minute and looked at him to try to get him into 
focus so I could see him better.
"'Do you think so?'"
"'Yes!' he was coming in loud and clear now.  'Even if you never 
saw him again, you could send him Love.  If you do this every day, 
it will make all the difference, more than you can imagine.  You 
know it's easy to do.'"
"I didn't say anything.  I just thought to myself that at least I 
could try."
"'Let me tell you that if everyone did this with a child, it would 
change everything.  If you don't have a child, you can mentally 
adopt one.'"
"'What do you mean by that?'"
"'I mean to adopt them in your mind and heart and to make the 
choice to send Love to this child on a daily basis.  No one ever 
needs to know and people do not need to see this child or know 
where they might be at a particular time.  The Love they send will 
find them.  Sending Love this way every day will do so much.  It's 
"I turned into the driveway.  'You mean it will keep them off the 
streets or out of trouble?'"
"'Yes!' he answered. 'It may not change all the circumstances that 
they are facing, but it will see them through it and with enough 
Love they will make different decisions.'"
"I thought about what he said while I parked the car and headed 
into the house."
"I sat in my favorite chair and lit a cigarette.  'Let me get this 
right.  You're saying the more Love someone receives, the less 
chance there is that they might act out their anger and hurt 
someone else?'"
"'Yes.  On a conscious level they won't know that they are being 
sent Love.  But on a subconscious level they will know, and the 
Love will counteract  a lot of anger and pain that they may be 
going through.  As an example, they might begin to feel that the 
whole world is not against them.  They may not know why the change 
is happening but nevertheless they will feel it.  Just think of 
some of the hard times you have gone through in your life. Would 
it have been easier if you had more Love around you, even if you 
could not see where it was coming from?'"
"'I guess that makes sense,' I answered.  'I guess it doesn't 
matter where Love comes from, just that you get it.'"
"'You cannot survive without Love.  The imaginary valve that 
allows Love to flow into you is never totally closed, but at a 
certain point where it is down to a trickle, things will begin to 
happen. You will be angry, you will feel a lot of pain, and 
because as the valve closes it becomes painful in the same way 
that starving to death would be painful.  There are certain places 
in the world that constantly seem to be at war. Why do you think 
this is? It's simple: in each individual the valve has closed to 
such agree that all they can think about is anger, hate, jealousy, 
and so on.'"
"'What would happen if the valve closed totally?'"
"'You would go insane. The rest depends on who you are what 
circumstances you are in, and where you are. If you live in a war 
zone you might make a suicide run for your imaginary enemy.  If 
you live in a quiet place you might commit suicide or walk into a 
store and blow everyone away, including yourself."
Unfortunately Sneaky was making sense.  If a person feels loved, 
he would never do anything to anyone else that might be harmful."
"'Would you like me to stretch your mind a little further or would 
you like me to leave it at that?'"
"'You might as well go for it.  You have my attention.'"
"'If twelve percent of the population of any city would send 
enough Love to fill the area on a daily basis, there would be so 
much Love in the air that it would be so peaceful the police would 
have nothing to do.  That also applies for a country or the 
"'Now you're really stretching it,' I smiled.  'Why twelve 
"'Because Love is the most powerful force in the universe.  
Everything is created from Love.  And that is all it would take to 
tip the scales.  Love grows. Nothing can defeat it, nothing can 
stand against it.'"
We sat in silence for a bit.
"'You have seen and experienced what opening your heart and 
radiating Love can do.  The same thing applies for sending Love.' 
he said. 'Imagine what would happen if two people in a 
relationship were to send each other Love.  What do you think 
would happen?'"
"'It would be incredible,' I responded. 'I don't think there would 
be words to describe the experience.  I think I would most 
definitely like to try that.'"
"I looked towards Sneaky but he was gone. I went to lay down and 
started sending my son Love."
I looked at Neena and Danny.  "I started sending Love to my son 
that day and have never missed a day since.  I can't even begin to 
tell you the difference that has made.  It's incredible.  And I 
will send Love to him on a daily basis for as long as I live.  I 
don't know where things would be today if it weren't for that 
little bit of knowledge, but frankly I don't want to know.

So It Is

Shit happens,
If nobody says No!
And gives Love
Then it will
Just keep on happening
And then, who's really to blame?

Chapter Thirty-One

"Over the next few weeks I spent most of my time experimenting 
with Love and working on my bets, which by the way were coming 
along nicely.  I had made quite a bit of money but instead of 
paying off all my bills I decided to put it away just in case.  
That probably wasn't a bad idea, except I was doing it for the 
wrong reasons. It's the thought behind the reason that's 
important.  In a manner of speaking I was betting against myself, 
thinking that perhaps my success would be short lived again.  
Saving money is fine but I believe now if it is done out of fear, 
those thoughts in some way create the very circumstance where we 
will end up desperately needing it.  Later on towards spring 
that's exactly what happened. I wasn't paying enough attention to 
my thoughts and how they were creating my reality, and so once 
again I lost my ability to win.  Sometimes it seems I'm a slow 
learner, but nevertheless sooner or later I catch on."
"But I'm getting ahead of myself."  I looked at Neena and Danny to 
see if they were still with me.
"Over the next few weeks of January and February, Sneaky would 
come around every second or third day. Mostly we just discussed 
working with Love and talking about various experiments I tried 
out.  I'll give you an example of one experiment.  I had a friend 
who broke off a relationship with a woman.  He came to my place 
and was totally despondent about this relationship.  So I decided 
after he left that I would spend a few days sending him Love and 
surrounding him with Love.  At that time he didn't know anything 
about what I had been doing over the last few months.  A few days 
later he came back to visit me.  I asked him how it was going 
because he seemed quite happy and relaxed.  He told me that for 
some reason after he had left my place the last time he was here 
suddenly he felt a sense of calmness come over him.  He said that 
he just started feeling better and better even though he wasn't 
happy about the break up, but for some reason a large part of the 
pain seemed to disappear. His exact words were, 'For some reason I 
feel better than I ever have.  Isn't that kind of weird?'  I also 
decided to send her Love.  But unfortunately I have no idea what 
effect it had on her, but from the things I have seen I'm quite 
positive it made a difference to her."
"I'm pretty sure you get my point."
"Did you tell him about sending Love and some of the other stuff?" 
Danny asked.
"No! I decided at that time it was probably best to keep to 
myself.  I did tell someone else though.  This particular person 
was running a small business here in town.  As I told him about 
everything that was going on he became more and more interested 
and wanted to know how he could use Love in his business.  Over 
the next three months I worked with him on that. We also taught 
his employees to send Love.  This took a little bit of convincing, 
as you can imagine, but we managed to do it.  I also made the 
stipulation that this had to be secret and no one was to say 
anything to anybody else."
"So what happened?" asked Neena.   
"At first, the only thing we noticed was that everybody seemed 
happier. Everybody seemed to really be enjoying themselves.  But 
nothing happened as far as business was concerned.  It took 
roughly about six weeks and then suddenly business started to 
increase, very slowly at first.  Then it just seemed to take off, 
and he ended up having to turn business down because he just 
couldn't handle it all.  The other thing that was really 
interesting which came up in several meetings we had with the 
employees and himself and his wife who was also working in the 
business is that everybody was saying that it had an effect on 
their lives at home.  The topic about attracting other people also 
came up many times.  There was one single woman and one single man 
working there and both mentioned quite a few times that every time 
they went out they couldn't believe how magnetic they had become 
to people, especially the opposite sex.  It was pretty apparent 
that they were having the time of their life."
"So what's happening with this business now?" Danny asked.  Not a 
surprising question, considering that his bar was pretty quiet.
"About a year later he sold his business and moved to the United 
States to open another business.  Apparently that's where he 
always wanted to go.  He also took two of his employees with him.  
From what I have heard throughout the grapevine, he has about 25 
employees and is doing great."
"Why do you need to hear it through the grapevine?" Danny asked. 
"Aren't you in contact with him?"
"No.  I knew that at some point I would end up needing to write 
about this, and I decided that it was best to keep who he is and 
what business he and his wife are in a secret, at least for the 
first few years.  So I told him that it was best that we do not 
maintain contact. They both agreed with my reasoning."
"I don't understand why you would do that," Danny said.
"It's pretty simple.  I can go into the future and look at the 
probable outcomes of my book and the information in it.  The 
outcome is unbelievably fantastic.  But there are some people who 
are going to get confused out of fear that they are being 
controlled.  Love has nothing do with control...actually it's the 
total opposite.  Love is attractive and magnetic.  Some people are 
not going to understand, at least at first, that if you have two 
businesses you can choose from you will automatically be attracted 
to the one that is radiating with Love. That's only natural.  
Which will give you the best service and care the most for you?  
It's pretty simple to answer that question!  Unfortunately, some 
people are afraid of their own shadow.  It won't take very long 
before you'll see small and large businesses doing it everywhere.  
I'm not saying that my decision was absolutely right, just that I 
felt it was the right thing to do and that's really all there is 
to it. Let's get back to the story because there are some other 
things you need to know."
"After a couple weeks passed, I noticed that I was having some 
mood swings.  I was extremely happy one minute and then the next I 
felt irritated or angry.  At a particularly irritating moment when 
I felt extremely grumpy, Sneaky snuck up on me and scared the heck 
out of me, and I let him have it."
"'Aren't we grumpy today?'  he observed, as my snapping at him 
just rolled of his shoulders."
"'What the heck was that?" I said.  "I thought Love was supposed 
to make me feel good?'"
"Sneaky seemed to think this was pretty funny and obviously knew 
this topic would be coming up.  I was irritated at the fact that 
once again he didn't bother warning me."
"'Look at it this way,' he said.  'Imagine a river, and the water 
is Love. In the past this river of Love in you was almost dry, and 
now that you have been working with Love, this river has started 
to flow again.  Now imagine as it has increased dramatically in 
size it is picking up debris left on the riverbank, like emotions, 
thoughts, guilt, shame, and anger.  In a manner of speaking all 
these things are being flushed out of you.  This is temporary, 
especially if you continue to surround yourself with Love; just 
look at the feelings and emotions that are coming up and simply 
send them Love or in your mind surround them with Love.  In a few 
days it will all be gone.'"
"'All of it?' I used my hands to describe exactly what I was 
trying to say."
"Well, you might occasionally encounter a stump here and there.  
As long as you don't bury it in the sand again, it won't pose much 
of a problem.'  I nodded to let him know I understood."
"'We are now going to say goodbye.  It's time for you to sit down 
and put the pieces together.  I know you can do it and you will.'"
"And he disappeared.  I was shocked.  I still had a million 
questions to ask.  As I sat there thinking I became very irritated 
at the fact that he had showed up and dropped a bombshell and then 
just left.  After I settled down a bit I realized that is 
something that I would probably do myself, and have actually done 
for various reasons."
"So that's it?" Danny asked.
"No, not at all."  I answered. "Actually it's just starting but 
from here on it gets really complicated.  I'm going to need a few 
minutes to think about how to explain this to you."
"Perhaps another scotch while you think?" Danny asked.
"Why not."  I answered, drinking the rest of my tea and lighting 
another cigarette while I took a few moments to gather my 


When a woman feels loved,
She feels beautiful,
When she feels beautiful,
 She begins to feel safe,
And then, she will begin to trust,
As she begins to trust,
She will wait and see.
And when she sees your Love can be trusted,
That's when the Magic starts.

Chapter Thirty-Two

"I must be getting tired or something, because I just realized 
that I forgot to tell you about something else that Sneaky showed 
me.  It's hard to say whether it's important.  I'm going to leave 
it for a few minutes and go over some other details first."
"Over the years I spent an enormous amount of time studying, 
trying to figure out how the universe works and how everything is 
put together.  And at that time I had a pretty good understanding 
of how time works, and that the past, present, and future are the 
same. I had a pretty good understanding of how everything has 
already happened, and in a sense we are just moving around in the 
different probabilities and putting them together in certain ways 
to create what appears to be a life that is lived moment to 
moment.  Knowing this, I had a pretty good suspicion that Sneaky 
was not an angel at all, but instead either a future part of 
myself or a probable part of myself. I wasn't sure which one.  
Today I understand that a future part of myself and a probable 
part of myself really are the same. The next few months, or 
actually the next few years, are very complicated to explain, 
because when you work with Love, it changes time and seems to 
speed time up. I don't mean that your life is going to be shorter, 
because exactly the opposite happens.  After you really get into 
working with Love, you will end up doing and accomplishing more in 
one week than you would have accomplished in two or three weeks. 
The rest of the world seems to slow down, and as you watch other 
people who are not working with Love, they seem to be doing things 
very slowly.  It seems to take them forever to accomplish 
something. Nothing has changed with the other people; it's just 
you that has changed.  Time is relevant to each individual and is 
different for every one."
"Now you're probably thinking that as time speeds up for you, the 
amount of things you do in what appears to be a shorter time 
period would cause you to get tired or burnt out.  But that's not 
what happens.  You'll find that you end up having more spare time 
then you had before.  Of course this doesn't take effect 
overnight.  Other people are going to perceive you differently. 
They will see how much you accomplish in a certain time period, 
but they will wonder how you did it because you seem to be so 
relaxed.  To some people it will even seem like you do nothing, 
yet the work is done."
Taking a sip of Scotch, I asked them whether this made any sense.  
There was no doubt in my mind that Neena understood.
"It makes sense," Danny said, "but it leaves a lot of questions 
"I agree, but you're going to have to work those things out for 
 "So at that time and for quite a long time after that I was doing 
quite a few different things and heading in different directions 
at the same time.  Everything that I was working on had its own 
results, some effect on my life, and also on everything else that 
I was doing.  As an example, I was working on my bets, and all the 
things that I was learning and experiencing with that was a story 
by itself, one that has no ending.  I was working with the people 
that were putting Love into their business.  I was working with 
time and probabilities; I could write three books on that topic 
alone. My son came back to live with me and I was using Love to 
change all the circumstances with him. So many interesting things 
happened that I could write a book just about sending Love to my 
son.  My ability to hear people's thought was increasing 
dramatically.  That alone would be enough to keep anybody busy for 
quite a while.  This may not necessarily happen to you.  It can 
happen if you want it. The ability to communicate with animals can 
increase to a certain extent depending on where you were before 
you started working with Love. I also had a physical life to live. 
All of this would sound like I was going to put myself into the 
grave, but it's been the best time of my life.  Even though there 
were difficult moments, it all clicked into place with little 
effort on my part other than spending a lot of time thinking about 
everything and working out the details.  So this leaves me with 
the problem of what to tell you about and what to leave alone for 
"That's easy," Neena said. "Just explain it like you would about a 
vacation, just go over the highlights.  The rest will fill itself 
in, especially if it's written in a book, because people will have 
their own experiences."
"That's a very good point."


She had asked to be
Cherished, but equal.
I said, impossible!
She asked why.
I answered, I don't know how.
So glad that she proved
Me wrong.
And the dance begins.

Chapter Thirty-Three

"Are you going to tell us the piece you had forgotten about?" 
Danny asked.
"Yes, I think I will."  I said, "I haven't put all the pieces 
together yet, but I think it's going to be a big piece of the 
puzzle.  People seem to think that we're alone on this planet, and 
that's not entirely true."
"It was before Christmas when this started.  I was talking and 
joking with Sneaky about having a vacation when he suggested that 
it might be a very good idea.  He said the he was going to show me 
a very interesting place. I figured that he would be taking me 
somewhere physically, but that's not quite the way it worked out.  
A couple of days after that conversation I was returning from what 
I now call my out-of-body train ride, which is probably not the 
most accurate description since it's only my consciousness that 
temporarily leaves my body and present reality. I had just gotten 
back on the train and was looking at the sports results in the 
newspaper I had picked up when Sneaky decided to make a short 
appearance.  He told me that he was taking me to the vacation spot 
he had promised.  I wasn't all that impressed because I was hoping 
for something more physically real, but I agreed regardless.  When 
my imaginary train came to a stop he suggested that I go out, and 
at that moment he disappeared."
"At first it was difficult to clearly see the place where I had 
arrived, but I have been there many times since. Each time it 
became clearer and I was able to focus on the surroundings more 
clearly.  It is a fantastically beautiful place.  There is a small 
pond.  The water was perfectly clear and every now and then I 
could see a fish swimming around.  Tall grass and patches of 
wildflowers surrounded the pond. I had not seen many of them 
before.  At one end of the pond there were some trees which appear 
to turn into a very deep and dense forest. The plants, grass, and 
trees were not familiar.  Sneaky never told me where it was, but 
he did tell me that it was a real place and that it actually 
existed.  It was quite a few months before I figured out that it 
was in Hawaii.  I haven't figured out exactly where it is on the 
map but I intend to find it, for various reasons.  The reason I 
didn't recognize the vegetation was because it is in Hawaii.  I 
used to go there a lot but I don't go much anymore because I'm 
fairly busy with other things, but at that time it was a perfect 
place for me to go and calm my mind.  Many times while I was 
there, they're was a particular deer that used to come around and 
lay down beside me.  I called her Bambie.  Deer have very 
beautiful eyes, but what I most enjoyed was watching her ears.  
They were almost like radar dishes that could swivel all the way 
around. I thought that was the neatest thing.  After I had been 
there a few times I was starting to get the feeling that I was 
being watched. As it turned out, I was right.  I came to the 
conclusion that whatever was watching me was somewhere in the 
trees.  I asked Sneaky about this several times but each time he 
would only smile.  
One particular time that I was there, the pond was completely 
still, almost like a sheet of glass.  I was watching Bambie when I 
noticed that there were ripples in the pond, like someone had 
thrown a small pebble into the water.  As I looked at the ripples 
I noticed that there was something standing partly behind a tree.  
As I looked directly at it and tried to focus my vision as clearly 
as possible, it moved away from the tree and closer towards the 
water's edge. It looked human, but it moved about ten times as 
fast.  I was getting a little nervous but I noticed that Bambie 
had also seen it and didn't seem to be alarmed.  I turned my 
attention back to whatever it was that was watching me and Bambie.  
Even though I couldn't see very clearly, it was female, or at 
least seemed to have female features.  She seemed to be wearing 
something that was made of tree bark.  I thought it was some kind 
of a tree elf but that did not seem to fit.  I looked back towards 
Bambie to see if she was still watching.  Bambie's ears were 
turned in that direction but she was not paying much attention.  
Before I turned back to the female on the other side of the pond I 
mentally sent a message that said 'my trees, my lake, go away!'  
As I looked across the lake I could see she was gone.  In the same 
instant I realized that she was sitting at my left side.  That was 
a shock because I could not decide if she was ugly, beautiful or 
scary.  I have never seen anything like it before.  She was 
looking towards me but not directly at me and did not make direct 
eye contact.  In what seemed like a soft whispering voice that you 
could have heard for miles, she said, 'What makes you think these 
are your trees?'"
"There were too many thoughts running around in my head to answer. 
I just stared.  There was nothing about her that looked dangerous, 
but at the same time I didn't think she was anybody that I should 
be messing with.  She had pointy ears, slightly longer than what 
would be considered human. Her hair was like soft tree moss.  Her 
skin reminded me of soft paper bark.  She had long fingers and 
long fingernails.  Her body features where relatively close to 
human and she was partly covered with what looked like tree bark 
cut into thin slices and then hung from her body in different 
lengths and partly draped over her shoulders.  She was slender and 
about 5 feet tall.  Her face was slim with large dark round eyes 
and large eyelashes...almost like Bambie's eyes.  Appearing at the 
wrong moment she could easily scare the pants off of me but as I 
continued to look at her I realized she was actually quite 
beautiful in her own way.  She had a scent about her like honey 
and pine branches and flowers mixed together. Any perfume 
manufacturer would die for this.  Her scent was so enchanting that 
I had several stray thoughts.   I assumed that she had picked up 
my thoughts because she had a definite smile that would have 
embarrassed me if she hadn't turned her eyes towards mine. The 
second we made eye contact I seemed to melt into the universe. I 
felt like I was one with every tree that has ever lived.  It was 
actually too much for me and somewhere along the line I must have 
passed out because when I regained consciousness I was back in my 
bedroom.  The next time I saw Sneaky I asked him about her but he 
refused to tell me anything."
"Over the next six months I went there quite often.  Over those 
six months I learned a lot from her.  We spent of time talking 
mentally.  As it turns out there are more of her even though she 
is the only one I have seen so far.  She told me that small groups 
of them live in various parts of the world.  She seemed to know a 
lot about me and about my life.  When I asked her about this she 
laughed and explained to me that they had known me since I was 
very little.  When I was very young I used to spend a lot of time 
around a small pond.  People always said this pond was haunted. 
This makes perfect sense considering she told me that there is a 
small group of them living right by the pond.  This pond is right 
in the middle of a fairly large and old forest.  There was a small 
group of trees that seemed like they were too far apart and almost 
looked like somebody had planted them in a certain shape.  She 
told me that that is where they have their village.  I remember 
that place very well because whenever I went there I always had 
the feeling that there was somebody standing beside me or behind 
me, but I could never really see anything.  I asked her why we 
wouldn't be able to see them or their village.  She told me that 
their vibration is one notch away from ours, which makes them 
invisible to us, and also we can walk right through them and not 
feel anything.  They can see us because our physical nature is 
more condensed then theirs, but they are very close to our 
vibration.  I asked her why Sneaky would have brought me here 
instead of the old pond where I used to play.  She said that 
because of the volcanoes there's a lot of energy around the 
islands and if I physically came here at a certain point in my 
life I would most likely be able to physically see them."
I stopped talking for a moment and thought about what I should 
mention and what I could leave out.
"If I want to go there, would I be able to?" Danny interrupted my 
"That's very easy to do. All you need to do is exactly the same 
thing I did: just use your imagination and have your imaginary 
train take you there."
"But I don't know where it is."
"You don't need to actually know where it is. Just keep in your 
mind that it is where you want to go and you'll end up there.  
What's important is that you surround yourself with Love and make 
yourself as radiant as possible, otherwise they won't appear.  
They most likely won't take you to their village but someone will 
come and talk to you."   
"Why won't they take us to their village?"
"There are many reasons but none of them have anything to do with 
fear.  If you are radiant enough with Love, they would probably 
take you to the village because you would be vibrating at a closer 
range to them.  But you won't see much there anyway because they 
live very simple lives. Actually if you carefully look at the 
placement of the trees very near the pond, you'll see an area 
where the trees seem to have a different pattern.  That's where 
the village is.  Surprising enough you might even notice that 
people will avoid this particular spot or not even see it."
"So when are you going?" Neena asked with a smile.
"Within two years, if everything goes to according to my plans.  I 
was planning to get a small house on the beach so I can be near 
the dolphins.  Apparently these people are tied in very closely 
with dolphins and whales.  It's too long a story to get into right 
now, but the bottom line is that the dolphins and whales are 
leaving.  I've known this for quite some time, and she confirmed 
it.  If enough people don't start to send Love at least several 
times a week, in less than fifteen years you can kiss them 
goodbye.  That's all it boils down to."
"Allot of people want to do something, but don't know what to do." 
Neena said. "If you don't write your book, no one will ever know 
what they can do and what they're capable of accomplishing."
"I know that."  I answered.  "I've thought about it quite allot.  
I guess I'm unsure of whether anyone is going to believe it or 
even give it a chance so that they can see the results for 
"There's only one way to find out, isn't there?" I nodded my head.

Openly trusting

I've thought a lot about trust lately, partly because something 
has come up, that has touched that part of me that I keep so well 
I wonder what it is that I'm afraid of?
 I wonder if I have really ever trusted, or if it was nothing more 
than a temporary illusion.
 I've thought about how many wonderful things I have destroyed 
because of my lack of trust.
There is nothing in life that I have ever come across that I 
couldn't handle, yet the question remains: why am I scared?
No relationship works without trust regardless of whether it 
consists of friendship, Love, work or play.
It comes down to the same thing, trust.
Maybe it's really myself that I don't trust.
Do I trust myself, that I will pick the right whatever?
Possibly? Maybe? After all, who knows what's right for me better 
than me.
I've heard it said that if you do what is right for you, that is 
selfish, but I know that if you don't do what is right for you 
then that becomes destructive.   
So where is the balance?
And what will happen to me if I just say the hell with it and just 
Perhaps it's whom I trust?
Well that didn't work, did it? It appears I'm right back where I 
Well, that leaves me with one choice, doesn't it?
I hope that it's not going to be as painful as my lack of trust 
has been.
On the other hand, Ladies First!  

Chapter Thirty-Four

"I was just thinking…" Danny interrupted my thoughts.
"The part about sending Love makes perfect sense to me. Even 
though I don't really know exactly how it works or precisely where 
the Love comes from, I can see that it would work and probably 
work extremely well.  But the things you were saying about time 
and probable events and everything supposedly happening at once 
doesn't make any sense to me."
"I understand what you're saying. I look at things this way.  When 
I learned something like sending Love, at first I'm not interested 
in exactly how it works but only in two things: that it works, and 
how to do it.  So what I do is temporarily accept the possibility 
that it works and what I can use it for.  Then I accept the 
possibility that I can do this, because if I spend all my time 
trying to figure out how it all works, it would take forever and 
in the mean time I would not get the benefits of what I just 
learned. I've found that as I use a little trust and move forward 
with certain information, the information on how it works seems to 
come forward little by little on its own.  This means that I don't 
have to fill my mind with concepts that are very difficult to 
understand.  That's why I was telling you before to break 
everything into small units like little jigsaw puzzle.  You have 
one piece of the puzzle that says you can send Love, and you have 
another piece of the puzzle that says you know how.  And if you 
use those puzzles, soon you will have many little pieces that each 
tells you what the results are from sending Love.  When you put 
all those pieces together a picture will form in your mind and 
slowly you will understand how it all works. What's really 
important, is that you understand everything about Love, or that 
you have the ability to use it to make your life and everything 
around you more beautiful?
Neena interrupted.  "I think what Danny is having a problem with 
is the way that you describe time and probable moments.  You 
didn't really put those concepts into small packages like you did 
with Love and the betting.  Do you see what I mean?"
Danny nodded his head in agreement.
"I think so.  I can put it into small packages that you can change 
slightly and temporarily accept so that you can make use of the 
information to improve your life."
I thought about it for a moment.
"There are books out there on the market that make a great effort 
to explain the whole concept of how everything actually works.  
But that would take me forever to explain. It's something you can 
pursue if you want. I'm not finished with my own learning.  It's 
something that just keeps on going. Every day I add a new piece to 
the puzzle.  So here's how I have broken the pieces down.  First I 
accept that I consist of a conscious mind and a subconscious mind. 
There also seems to be an inner self, which is like having another 
deeper subconscious mind.  Then there is what I call my soul, 
which consists of everything that I am.  So that's one piece.   
Next I take time and separate it from everything else so that it 
almost is a thing in it's self.  Time takes single moments, like a 
film that is made up of many single pictures, and creates the 
illusion that one happens after another."
"Then I take a piece that says my soul lives in a timeless way 
where everything happens at once, or in a sense has already 
"Our thoughts create the reality that we live in.  What I have 
done with this is temporarily accept that when I focus on certain 
things and truly believe that this is the way it is, or truly 
believe that this particular thing will happen, then either my 
inner self or my soul puts that into my physical life experience.  
As I put the pieces together they begin to say that my past, 
present, and future are all happening at the same moment; it just 
appears to be different from my viewpoint.  This means that I can 
move forward in time and spend time with my future self because in 
fact he exists at the same moment I do.  There is one more 
important piece that is hard to accept, but you can use it to your 
advantage. Let's say you decide whether to go to the movies or 
stay home. Now two possibilities exist and you must make a 
decision about which one you will experience.  You could stay home 
and put yourself into an altered state of mind and shift sideways 
in time and experience both."
"I know this is terribly confusing. To be honest, there are many 
times it still boggles my mind, but I have gone far enough with it 
that I can use this information to change my life totally and to 
create the experiences that I want to physically experience. You 
can instantly create things that you want depending on whether you 
believe it's possible. If everything you thought about was 
instantly created, that could really turn out to be one hell of a 
nightmare, so our beliefs form a buffer."
"Well, even though I am now more confused, I can temporarily 
accept that.  But I don't understand how I'm going to use it.  
Let's suppose I want to have a new job. What would I do to make 
this happen?"  Danny still looked uncertain.
"That's the easy part. I do this every single day as soon as I get 
up in the morning, before I do anything else. I sit down and write 
out exactly what I'm going to experience today.  I don't go into 
detail, but I write about one page.  This took a short while to 
take effect because I had to create the belief that this would 
work, but after about 20 days it really started kicking in.  So 
after I write what I want, in my mind I accept it and then form a 
picture of it.  What I picture is exactly what I have written and 
the feeling that it gives me.  Then I simply pump an enormous 
amount of Love into this picture.  I pump as much Love into it as 
I can possibly fit until I feel it's ready to explode. Then I just 
let it go and watch it unfold as my day goes along.  Some things 
happen instantly, so fast that it makes my head spin. Other things 
seem to take a little bit longer but I just work on them every day 
until they show up.  I keep a small diary of things that I 
experience every day.  If you were to look at the two of them you 
would notice how beautifully they match. The bottom line is that 
it's really not important to know exactly how it works, just that 
it does, and that I know how to make it work.  There are other 
ways to do the same thing but the real secret is adding Love, 
because when you do it with Love. Most of the time it comes out 
way better than expected. Everyone else associated with it also 
comes out ahead. Love seems to take the winner/loser issue out of 
every situation and somehow everyone seems to win. I have 
absolutely no idea how the Love that I send into what I have 
written gets into my physical reality, but at this point I'm more 
interested in the fact that it works."


Relationships are simple
Before you say anything or plan on doing anything, ask, 
"Will this bring me closer"
Create a feeling of oneness and Love?
If so, it is good
If not, ask yourself
"Why am I destroying this?"
The answer of a thousand failed relationships
Will sit before you.

(We can discuss, debate and argue about everything  
but it basically boils down to only this)

Chapter Thirty-Five

I stood up. "I need to stretch a little."
I looked at my watch to see if it had started working again, but 
it was still stopped. I could still see drops of water under the 
crystal.  I was getting very tired and could feel my face slowly 
starting to relax and droop a little.  Danny was looking rather 
tired himself.  Neena looked as fresh as a spring chicken.  She 
must be a night person, I thought, as I stretched my arms to 
increase the circulation.
"There are some things I don't quite get yet," Danny said.  
"Apparently Sneaky isn't an angel.  Is that correct?"
"That's right." I sat down again.
"Okay, then he's your future self," he ventured.
"I guess you could say that. That's what I thought at the time, 
but let's just say that time only exists in the physical reality 
that we perceive.  For right now, I've temporarily accepted a new 
idea that there really isn't any future or past part of myself; 
they are probable selves.  I've noticed that as I play with 
shifting forward and backward in time, I don't always come across 
the same past self. It's like the past has had many probabilities 
and there were countless choices. The bottom line, at least the 
way I see it now, is that all the possibilities have been lived, 
and it's like we're replaying the different moments in various 
I realized that I was getting off track again.  
"It's probably better if we just talk about it as past, present, 
and future selves. Otherwise, it just gets really confusing."
"Why would your future self come back pretending to be an angel?" 
Neena asked.
I could see that she already knew the answer.
"Because he has a sick sense of humor. It was rather fun, and when 
and if it becomes my turn to do this type of thing, I will 
probably do the very same thing.  Which makes sense, since he is 
me and I am him."
Danny asked, "What happened next?"
"After Sneaky left, I took some time and thought about everything.  
I tried to put it into prospective and in some way tried to get my 
mind to understand it all.  I was curious to know exactly who 
Sneaky was, how far in the future did he come from.  I also wanted 
to know what was going to happen to my life and me over the next 
few years.  So I was preparing myself to spend a few weeks moving 
into the future.  I wanted to go back to the future self that I 
had seen sitting on a lawn chair by a cabin, before all this 
really got started."   
I fell into deep thought trying to decide what the best way would 
be for me to explain this.
"What did you end up seeing?" Danny asked.
"Before I answer that, I would like to say that this didn't all 
come about in one day. It actually takes a fair bit of effort and 
concentration and can be very exhausting.  Over those few weeks I 
didn't spend much time betting or working with Love."
"First I moved forward only a few years, but I can't tell you 
exactly how many; perhaps it was three or four years.  I ran into 
a future probable self who was spending some time in Hawaii.  He 
wasn't very talkative, but he did tell me that he was there 
working with the dolphins.  It appeared that he wasn't alone but 
he wouldn't tell me who he was with.  He just told me that if he 
said too much it would ruin our timeline and we would and up 
creating various new probabilities. I didn't understand what he 
meant, but he told me that it would all start to come together 
fairly soon and that my main focus should be working with Love."
"The next successful attempt was a strange one. I had many 
attempts that were not successful. Either I would fall asleep or 
just end up dreaming. I managed to go back to the same future self 
that I had seen the first time. I saw my future self-sitting on a 
lawn chair in front of a fire pit and Sneaky was sitting on a lawn 
chair at his left. The minute I arrived, Sneaky disappeared. At 
the same moment I thought I saw a woman dashing into the house.  I 
stood there for a few minutes looking at my future self. He didn't 
look much different except for having a ponytail, which wasn't 
anything that I was planning to do as my present self.  I also 
thought that I could see someone peeking through the window but I 
couldn't make out who this person was."
"I asked my future self, who was just sitting there smiling and 
staring back at me, where Sneaky went.
"'He's shifting into other probabilities and doing the same thing 
he did with you," my future self replied.  "He was just sticking 
around to make sure that you would make it this far.'"
"'So he's not really an angel then.'"
"'No, he just has our sense of humor. He was trying to spare you 
the agony of having to look at yourself completely.  I'm sure we 
can agree that isn't always the most pleasant experience, is it?'"
"'What happens now?'"
"'You need to write about all of this and explain all the 
different things a person can do with Love.'"
"'That's not going to be very easy. It's going to be almost 
impossible to get people to believe that something so simple can 
have such a powerful affect on their lives and on everything 
"'We've already done it. All you're really doing is re-living it 
in a slightly different probability form.'"
"'If it's already done, why do I need to do it again?'"
"'Because it's not done in your probability.'"
"'Then you're not really my future self?'"
"'Yes and no. We're the same thing. I can be a future self in your 
probability or I can be just a probable self.  But that's not 
important right now. What you need to focus on is getting as much 
experience with Love as possible so that you can relay this 
information to others.  The rest will fall into place later on.  
You also need to concentrate on creating everything that you want 
to experience in your life. You need to learn how to do this with 
Love so that everything you create in your life is not only filled 
with Love but actually created from Love.  Do you understand the 
difference between an object that is created with Love and an 
object that is created with blood, sweat, and tears?'"
"'I understand that…   Who is the person that ran into the 
"'We decided that it was best that you wouldn't see who she is for 
the moment,' he answered. 'But you'll understand why later.'"
"I was beginning to drift and felt I couldn't stay there much 
longer, so I asked one last question."
"What happened with the lottery thing?"
"'Forget it,' he said. 'There are better ways to use Love. You'll 
see what I mean.'"
"He continued to talk, but I had already begun to fade out and 
moments later lost consciousness."
I rubbed my eyes. "That's really about it.  Since then, I've spent 
most of my time working with Love, which has been quite an 
experience.  The same question remains: how am I going to write 
about this? Where do I start and where do I stop? It never really 
stops. Every day I seem to learn something new about sending Love 
and experiencing new things.  And who's going to believe something 
this bizarre?"
"Write it exactly the way you told it to us," Neena said. "As far 
as whether anybody believes it, that's a decision everyone needs 
to make for himself."
"But isn't it too confusing and mind boggling?" I asked.
"That's what makes it interesting," Danny said. "It gives a person 
something to think about."
"I agree!" Neena said. "But maybe you could write about some of 
the experiences you had working with Love and some of the 
different ways you send Love."
Danny nodded his head in agreement.
"You might be right." I said.  "I need to go to the washroom. I'll 
be right back."
I pushed my barstool back and headed for the washroom.  I didn't 
really need to go. I just wanted a moment to myself.
I put down the toilet seat and sat down.  I was thinking about 
what we had talked about, when I noticed that there were voices 
coming from the bar. I thought maybe a group of people had come in 
for a drink, but ignored it.  After a few more minutes of deep 
contemplation I got up and washed my hands.  As I stepped out of 
the washroom, I couldn't believe what I saw. There must have been 
at least ten or twelve people in the bar.  Walking towards where 
we were sitting just moments before, I saw that Danny was no 
longer behind the bar, but there was someone else there. Neena was 
also gone and there was a woman sitting in her chair talking to 
another woman sitting beside her.  My chair was still empty.  As I 
stood behind my barstool with my hand on my jacket, I must have 
had a very confused look on my face.  The bartender came over and 
said that Neena and Danny had to leave.
"What can I get you?" he asked.
I thought for a moment and quietly answered. "Maybe just the 
"The bill is taken care of," he reached under the counter. "Danny 
left something for you."  He placed the little green bottle on the 
I reached for the bottle and pulled my jacket off the barstool.  I 
was about to reach for my cigarettes but they were gone.
I thanked the bartender and, taking one last look around, headed 
for the front door.  About the same time I stepped onto the 
sidewalk a cab pulled up and stopped.  I opened the door and gave 
him directions to my house.
The cab driver and I didn't speak much on the way home, but I 
remember him remarking, "It's a strange night isn't it?"
"It definitely is." I left it at that.

Changing to a Probable Reality
Every time a decision is made,
A whole universe is created where the decision is played out.
In fact, it already exists and since time is not linear,
Any decision can be reversed,
As if it was never played in our reality in the first place.
It is so easy to do,
That every one does it constantly in an unconscious way.
At the moment when a decision is made,
We enter that probable universe and reality
Where that decision is played.
It's not only decisions that cause the shift.
But also thoughts and what we believe.
As an example, if we think and believe we are unloved, that is the 
probable reality we are flung into.
And there we will stay until we change our beliefs,
 Or until someone comes along who makes us change our beliefs and 
But that will never happen until we shift into a loving reality.
Which we cannot do, until we change what we believe and think.
And so we go in circles,
Forever experiencing the same end results.

To Change the Reality
First we must detach what we see, hear, and experience
From our thoughts and beliefs.
That will begin to release us from the probable universe,
We are experiencing now.
Then we change our thoughts and beliefs,
To the point that we experience what we want in our minds.
As the thoughts and beliefs begin to take hold,
We begin to shift.
At first the shift occurs unnoticed,
But as time goes on and with practice, we can begin to see the 
Or perhaps if we choose, we can wait until
Scientists discover a mechanical way.  That's if we live that 

I've heard it said that if we truly believe
In whatever, then we would already have it.
Then it is because we don't believe
That we do not have it,
And perhaps our thoughts are not in line with what we want.  

Chapter Thirty-Six

By the time I got home that night I was exhausted.  I made 
something to eat and then went to bed. 
I got up fairly late the next morning and after taking a shower 
and having breakfast I decided to take the bus back downtown to 
pick up my car.  I thought about the night before while I was 
sitting on the bus. The odds of something like that happening are 
pretty slim. The whole thing was played out perfectly, like a play 
that was rehearsed for months.  And I fell in hook, line, and 
sinker.  I wondered who Danny and Neena really were, and how could 
they possibly know who I am.  Perhaps one of my future or probable 
selves knows them and sent them to help.  But that still leaves 
the question as to how they would project themselves into my 
reality, exactly at the right moment.
I had to walk a few blocks to my car and that gave me a chance to 
clear my mind. I decided to drive down the street where Neena's 
bar was and take a look at it during the day. I had been down that 
street many times before and never saw that bar there before.
It's a one way street, so I drove several blocks further down and 
then drove back towards where the bar had been.  As I got there, I 
pulled over to the side because there was no bar, just two very 
large buildings side by side.  I couldn't believe it. I know where 
I had been last night, no question about it. I decided to park my 
car and retraced my steps.  I asked several people if they had 
heard of Neena's bar. No one had ever heard of it before.  I 
looked in the phone book but there was no listing.  That bar 
doesn't exist in this reality or at least not at this moment.   
Even today I still don't really have an answer. All I can say is 
that perhaps these people know how to shift around in different 
probabilities and are obviously quite good at it. Or maybe I 
shifted into their probability. I don't remember doing anything 
special that night that would cause such a thing to happen. That 
would be an interesting thing to learn how to do.  I haven't 
stopped looking for the answers and I never will.  At some point 
I'll figure it out "it's only a matter of time".  Maybe I'll do it 
Now as far as Love is concerned, I have spent as much time as 
possible over the last few years working with Love and have made a 
lot of fascinating discoveries. I can't put into words the things 
that can be accomplished using Love.  It all hinges on the fact 
that as individuals, we have the ability to send and receive 
massive amounts of Love.  In the rest of this book I will go over 
some of my experiences with sending Love and some of the different 
ways I do it.  Sending and working with Love can be one of the 
easiest things you ever learn to do. I believe that is why 
sometimes people have doubts about whether this actually works.  
We seem to believe that if we are not struggling, it must not be 
of much value, but that is definitely not true.
What I have told you in this book is true even though many things 
were left out so that it would not be too confusing. I don't 
expect you to believe anything I have written, and to be totally 
honest, if someone else were to tell me this story, I probably 
would not believe it myself.  What I'm truly hoping is that you 
can accept the idea that you do have the ability to send Love and 
in so doing hopefully you will give it a try.  Once you see the 
results for yourself, there will be nothing left to be said.
My life has changed so much that whenever I think back, all I can 
do is shake my head.  In the past, nothing ever really worked out 
for me.  It seemed like everything I touched turned to dust.  Now 
it's exactly the opposite. I couldn't make a mistake if I tried.  
Everything I touch works out perfectly; my timing is perfect.  If 
I want something, I type it out on my computer, then I simply fill 
the idea with Love until it is bursting at the seams.  Then I just 
sit and wait, or follow my instincts about where to go and what to 
do, and what I wanted falls into my hands. It's usually 
exceptionally better than I had even hoped.
I have had other people try this and it has worked for them to the 
same degree it works for me, and sometimes even better.
In case you're wondering why you have never heard of sending Love 
or read anything about it, that's not an easy story to tell and it 
really is a long one. I'm still working out some of the details. 
The amount of effort and energy that has been expended in order to 
keep this information secret is mind-boggling, and in many ways 
even disgusting.  Normally I would be concerned that this book 
never would make it to the open market, but for as long as I have 
lived I have had the feeling that I'm not alone. As I write this, 
I can feel something looking over my shoulder. I have no idea what 
it is, but I feel safe and unstoppable, at least as far as this 
material is concerned.
And so it is. Accept what you like and leave the rest.
All my Love to you on your journey. Why not do it with Love? We 
have nothing to lose, and everything to gain.

And the game goes on...

Epilogue (optional) The Instructions


One concern people seem to have when I mention that we have the 
ability to send Love to other people is about one person 
controlling another.  Love does not control. There is nothing 
about Love that is controlling or manipulative.  Love has the 
ability to affect a person's behavior and how they feel.  A person 
who feels Love and is surrounded by Love tends to behave in 
different ways than one who feels unloved and angry or depressed.  
When a person is angry, sad, depressed, or feels unloved, his 
actions resemble the lack of Love.  The amount of Love a person 
has is directly associated with their actions, words, thoughts, 
and behavior.  Normally it is accepted that there is not much we 
can do, but that is just an illusion.  We have the ability to send 
massive amounts of Love to people, animals, plants, and our 
environment.  The results can be astounding.  Children are a 
perfect example. Their actions are an instant and perfect 
reflection of the amount of Love they have.  Just because someone 
loves them does not necessarily mean they are receiving this Love, 
and that's where the difference lies.  Loving someone is wonderful 
but sending them Love is where you will really see the magic.
Who do we send Love to?  Everyone, Our lovers, children, friends, 
co-workers, people we meet, the people who govern our cities and 
countries, and everyone that you encounter.  We can fill our homes 
with Love, surround our cities with Love, and send Love to our 
pets and plants.  You might be very pleasantly surprised to see 
how well plants do when they are surrounded with Love.  There's 
nothing stopping anyone from filling an entire field with Love.  
We can send Love into the food we eat and the food we serve.  And 
on it goes.
Love is very magnetic. It attracts more Love and joy to it.  I've 
watched people change right in front of my eyes and become 
happier, more joyful, relaxed, and peaceful.  It's a wonderful 
feeling to be able to help others, considering how easy it is.  
Any place I go, whether it's a meeting, a party, or just a 
gathering, I always send Love there first, and it makes all the 
difference.  Love is very magnetic and if you fill yourself with 
Love to the point where you become radiant with Love, you will 
very quickly find that people are attracted to you and will try to 
be near you.  This is very natural; after all, if you were at a 
party, who would you gravitate towards? The person who is radiant 
with Love or someone who is unhappy and not feeling loved? The 
more radiant we are with Love and the closer people and animals 
come, the more Love they receive and the happier and more joyful 
they become.  All in all, it becomes an incredible experience for 
everyone; there is a sense of joy, peace, openness, and belonging.
In order to send Love to other people, animals, plants, or the 
world, you need to open your heart and let the Love flow. Not only 
is it as easy as breathing, but each time you send Love you 
receive more Love yourself because the Love comes from within you 
and must travel through you before it is sent out.  And that's an 
indescribable bonus.
Opening our hearts and becoming radiant with Love is a very 
natural thing and happens very often on an unconscious level.  For 
instance when we hold a small baby or puppy or kitten in our arms, 
our heart begins to open and we begin to feel and radiate Love.  
When we fall in Love with someone, that other person becomes the 
trigger mechanism that opens our hearts, but in time the trigger 
mechanism wears out and then we wonder why we don't feel as much 
Love as we did before. That's usually when the trouble starts.  
But when we have the ability to open our hearts consciously by 
ourselves and send Love to another person, Love can continue to 
grow instead of drying up like a puddle in the hot sun. There is 
no limit to the amount of Love people can feel and experience. If 
we are not in a relationship, we can still feel Love and feel 
loved. There is no reason why we need to wait day after day for 
someone to come along to open our hearts.  We have the ability to 
open our hearts, fill ourselves and become radiant with Love and 
thereby attracting more Love.
When I learned to send Love, it became the joy of my life. For the 
first time in my life I really felt I could make a difference. 
What a difference that has made to my life! As I radiate out more 
Love, I attract more good things and good experiences to myself.  
The more I work with Love, the more everything just seems to click 
for me and work out perfectly.

Relaxing and Letting Go

The most important part about learning to open your heart, filling 
yourself with Love and sending Love, is learning to completely 
relax and let go of all other thoughts.  It's very important 
during any of the following exercises that you stay focused and 
leave all other thoughts alone.  If you find yourself drifting 
off, simply bring yourself back and continue.  With a little 
practice and time, you will find it becomes easier each time.  
Unless you have had some practice with meditation or relaxing 
exercises, it's probably best that you either lie or sit down 
somewhere quiet where you will not be disturbed and spend a few 
moments clearing your mind and totally relaxing your body.  With 
practice you will be able to open your heart and send Love 
virtually anywhere and anytime, because you will be able to relax 
your body and instantly clear your mind and focus on your heart.
There's a certain feeling that comes when you open your heart. 
This is difficult to learn if you do not start off learning it in 
a quiet and peaceful environment.  This is because when your body 
is totally relaxed and your mind is clear and calm, there is a 
certain inner sensory perception. This is important because that 
is where you will find the feelings associated with opening your 
Even though I am able to send Love virtually anywhere, like while 
riding a bus or driving in a car, I still spend 15 to 20 minutes 
each day where I lie down and totally focus on opening my heart 
and radiating Love.  This seems to dramatically increase my 
ability every time.
There are many books on the market about relaxing and calming the 
mind so I won't go into it in too much detail.  If you find it is 
easier for you to relax by listening to perhaps a meditation tape 
or some very relaxing and soothing music, that seems to work very 
well and it won't interfere with your ability to open your heart.
Here's what I do whether I'm lying down or sitting.  First I 
totally relax my body by making sure every muscle in my body is 
relaxed, even my face muscles.  I do this by pretending that I'm 
going to sleep and I tell my body that we are going to have a nap. 
I let my body go to sleep while I clear my mind of all thoughts.  
The way I clear my mind is much the same way as the instructions 
for moving forward in time. I imagine that my mind is connected to 
the larger part of me.  It doesn't matter what you call this part, 
just connect to it and let all your concerns and other thoughts 
slip away. I do this by what I call inner listening. I put all my 
focus and attention on hearing that larger part of myself.    
After that it's just a matter of focusing my mind on opening my 
heart and sending Love, whatever it is I choose to do.
If you have a serious problem with keeping your mind from drifting 
with various thoughts that keep coming up, I imagine an extremely 
bright beam of light coming down into the top of my head.  It 
reaches directly into the middle of my brain, and then expands 
from there. This seems to completely clear out all other thoughts.
For maximum results, your body needs to be totally relaxed and 
even asleep, and your mind needs to be clear of everything except 
that which you want to achieve.  After a bit of practice you will 
be able to open your heart and send Love anytime, but I have found 
in the long run that I get maximum results when I lie down and let 
my body go to sleep while my mind stays awake but focused.
So there it is. It's simple.  Sometimes people tell me that they 
don't have an extra twenty minutes a day for this. I can 
understand that because they seem to be spending most of their day 
trying to straighten out all the crap that seems to happen to 
them.  I wonder why so much crap happens to them while my days go 
by like a lucky charm?  Maybe it's that twenty minutes I spend 
every day sending Love.  What do you think?

Opening your Heart, Filling and Surrounding Yourself with Love

Opening our hearts, filling and surrounding ourselves with Love is 
so easy to do that you'll think it couldn't possibly work, but it 
does work and it is a very natural occurrence. I pretend there is 
a valve near my heart in the center of the upper part of my chest.  
When we fall in Love with someone, this imaginary valve opens, and 
in a manner of speaking most of the Love we feel comes from us. We 
also become radiant with Love and as we connect more with the 
other person we have fallen in Love with, we begin to receive 
their Love and also send ours to them.  As we fall in Love, this 
other person becomes the trigger mechanism that opens this valve 
and allows the Love to flow, but in time the things that this 
person does or says that opened our hearts slowly stops working.  
That is why sometimes the Love that we felt at the beginning seems 
to slowly dissipate.  As you can imagine, this causes a lot of 
problems in a relationship. Many times it causes it to end, at 
which point our hearts begin to close even more, and that is where 
the largest part of the pain that we feel comes from.  As our 
hearts close it becomes more and more painful.  But we have the 
ability to open our hearts on our own. We do not need to feel the 
pain that is caused by our hearts closing. We can continuously 
open our hearts more each day and we can send this Love to each 
other so that as the days and years go by, we experience more and 
more Love. There is no limit to the amount of Love we can feel, 
have, and experience.  Many people have told me that as a 
relationship develops that there is a point where it becomes 
comfortable and safe.  And I agree with that.  They have reached 
an acceptable amount of Love...less than they had at a certain 
point in their relationship, but more than they had before.  But 
why limit it to that? Why not keep growing further in Love and 
allowing more Love to grow? Everyone dreams of experiencing more 
Love even if they have been in a very good relationship for quite 
some time.  It is natural for us to want to grow and to experience 
more Love each day.  And the really beautiful thing about our 
ability to open our own heart is that we do not need to wait for a 
relationship so that we can feel and be radiant with Love.  It's 
just a matter of deciding what we really want. Are we totally 
satisfied with the amount of Love we have or do we want more Love? 
Why not, it's there inside us and it's free!  Where there's an 
abundance of Love there cannot be pain, anguish, hurt, angers or 
hate. None of these things can survive in Love.  If you have any 
problems with these other things it's just a matter of opening 
your heart and filling yourself with Love, and those things will 
disappear very quickly.
The instructions that follow are very simple, and it's not 
important for you to follow them one hundred percent. What is 
important is that your mind is clear and focused on opening your 
heart, and that your intentions are there.  As you begin to play 
with this exercise in opening your heart, allow it to change to 
whatever works best for you on that particular day.  This exercise 
is designed to get you started. Let it grow and become you.  If 
you want, you can record the instructions on a tape with some 
background music and just lie back and follow your own 
instructions.  This actually works very well.
So just relax, have fun, and keep your pants on because you're not 
going to believe the things you are going to experience. It's 
going to be one beautiful ride.
This is how I do it. I lie down because I prefer that to sitting 
up, but if I don't have the opportunity to lie down I'll do it 
sitting up or even standing.  I begin to relax my body by simply 
letting it go.
Next, let go of all thoughts and any concerns you have about 
things that you need to do today.  Sometimes I pretend that the 
world doesn't exist and I tell myself that I refuse to think about 
anything that is beyond my physical body.
Breathing properly is also helpful. I breathe very slowly but 
deeply, taking large slow breaths. This slows down my stray 
thoughts, and very quickly tends to bring about a calming effect 
throughout my body.
Continue breathing slowly and deeply. Bring your consciousness 
inside your body.  Imagine that you are trying to listen to your 
inner self or soul (whatever you prefer to call it). Listen with 
all your attention; focus on listening and hearing what your inner 
self might be saying to you.  Listen to the quiet, the peace that 
is inside you.  Continue to do this for as long as you like.
Now imagine that there is a very bright light in the center of 
your chest like a very large brilliant diamond glowing as bright 
as the sun.  Use your imagination any way you like. See this 
glowing light as Love.  You can see it as sparkles or a golden 
light, whatever you choose. Just focus on the fact that it is 
Love. Now allow this Love that is glowing from your heart to 
become brighter and larger. Use your inner senses to increase the 
size and bring it out and beyond your body so that you are 
becoming a small sun glowing and radiating with Love. Feel 
yourself being filled with Love, as you become more radiant.  
Notice how every cell in your body is absorbing this Love and 
becoming radiant with Love.  Feel this Love, feel how you are now 
surrounded and radiant with Love. Notice how your hands and feet 
are radiating with Love. You are glowing with Love. As you breathe 
in, you can feel your lungs filling with Love and even more Love 
circulating through your body. Continue to feel this as much as 
possible. In your imagination, see how radiant you have become 
with Love. See how everything that you touch receives this Love. 
Anyone who comes near you receives the Love that you radiate.  
Continue to see and feel yourself becoming even more radiant, 
constantly increasing the Love each time you breathe, becoming 
brighter and more radiant with Love each breath.  Feel the joy 
that is bubbling up from inside you. Feel how you are filled with 
joy, feel how loved you are.  As you become more and more radiant, 
you are becoming magnetic and drawing more Love to you, attracting 
people happiness and joy. You are becoming magnetic and drawing 
good, joyful, and loving things towards you.  In your mind's eye 
see how everyone who comes close to you receives the Love you are 
radiating.  You are so filled with Love that you are radiating 
Love into the world.  Continue to increase the sensation and 
feelings of Love.  You may notice warmth in your chest area, or a 
feeling of pressure or pain. This is all right. It is because your 
heart is opening.  Keep breathing slowly and deeply, opening to 
your heart even more. Become even more radiant with Love, filling 
your entire body and mind with Love. Notice how your thoughts are 
changing. Notice how you are becoming more loving and 
understanding as you are becoming Love.
Stay there as long as you want. You can do this as many times a 
day as you like. The more you do this, the more radiant with Love 
you will become and the more Love and joy and good things you will 
attract to yourself.  People and animals will want to be near you. 
Allow them this, for they are searching for more Love and as you 
become more radiant with Love they receive Love from you. It is a 
gift beyond words.
Now you can send its Love to other people or fill your home or 
your work area with Love. The list is endless. If it comes to your 
mind, send it Love. It's that simple.  You have an endless supply 
of Love. You cannot ever run out.

Sending Love to People

When you want to send Love to a Lover, friends, co workers, or 
anyone, first you need to open your heart and become radiant with 
Love, as described in the "Opening Your Heart" exercise.  There 
are different ways you can send Love to other people; each of 
which has a tendency to give different results. Unfortunately it 
would take an entire book for me to list all the possibilities 
that I have seen and experienced, so that is something you will 
need to discover for yourself. I will explain some of the 
When you send Love to another person, it's best when we expect 
nothing in return but are just giving a gift of unconditional 
Love.  It's usually best if you send the Love totally 
unconditionally; in other words, letting the other person decide 
in what manner it is best used.  Because we are more than our 
conscious mind, that larger part of ourselves will direct the Love 
into whatever area it is most needed in the present moment.  It 
is, however, possible to send Love and put a small stipulation 
with it, as when someone is very ill and you are sending Love to 
assist their healing.  Still in my experience, ninety percent of 
the time I have found that it is best just to send them Love 
because sometimes their illness can actually do them more good in 
the long run than a quick recovery.  Sometimes if someone is ill, 
I will send them Love in various ways, one being unconditional, 
and also at a separate time send them Love to assist their 
healing.  I do this only if it feels right at the time.  When your 
heart is open and you are radiant with Love, quietly ask which way 
would be best for this person at this time. You will always 
receive an answer, most likely as a feeling.  If it feels right, 
do it.
Here are a few different ways that you can send Love. I assume you 
will know which one will be the correct one at a given time for 
this particular person.
1.	We can send Love and surround the person with Love, filling 
with Love the room that this person might be in. This works 
extremely well in many different circumstances, such as a party 
that is not going very well.  Simply surround everyone with 
Love and you'll find that the entire mood will change very 
quickly.  This also works well in meetings or job interviews, 
or even a get-together with a friend.  It's like draping them 
with a warm blanket of Love.  And who would say no to that.  
This also works extremely well if you happen to be with a 
person who is very nervous or agitated or irritated. You will 
find that they will calm down considerably and very quickly.  
In case you're thinking this has anything to do with control, 
Love has nothing to with control. This is a lot like giving 
someone a hug, but it's a hundred times more beneficial.
2.	We can send Love directly into the person and filling them with 
Love, and also send Love to a particular area in their body 
that they are having some problems with.  If you are doing 
this, imagine the Love going into this particular area in the 
body and totally filling each cell with Love until they begin 
to glow and radiate Love. Then visualize whatever ailment they 
have leaving the body.  You can visualize this any way you 
like. It is your intent to send Love that brings it about. 
Visualizing it is only the method to engage your intent.
3.	We can send Love directly to a person's heart. This will assist 
that person in opening their heart and allows the Love to flow 
into them from their own heart center.  This works extremely 
well if someone has recently ended a relationship or is going 
through a life crisis and is experiencing a lot of pain.  This 
works extremely well under those circumstances because one of 
the main reasons they are feeling this pain is because their 
heart has begun to close.  There is nothing more painful.
4.	We can also send Love directly to another person's heart in 
order to connect more closely with them, such as with your mate 
or lover.  You will find that this creates a very close 
connection and even allows you to be with that person despite 
the fact that they may be far away.  If two people agree to do 
this with each other, it can become one of the most beautiful 
and loving experiences you might ever have.  It creates an 
incredible bond between two people and at the same time you 
will still be an individual. This sounds like an incredible 
combination, but it works.  And it's beautiful because you will 
never feel alone, providing both of you agree to this.  Timing 
is not important. Love works beyond time so even if you send 
your mate Love in the morning and your mate did not do it until 
the evening, the connection will be exactly the same as if you 
had done it at exactly the same time.  It doesn't really matter 
how this works. What is important is that it does, and that the 
results are beautiful.
Open your heart and fill and surround yourself with Love. Then 
imagine a beam of Love coming from that glowing heart center in 
your chest, moving upwards to your mind and head center.  Now see 
a beautiful golden beam of Love going from your eyes directly to 
the eyes of your mate or Lover. Continue with this and at the same 
time see another beautiful golden beam of Love coming from your 
heart and going directly to your mate or lover's heart.  Be still 
and continue this for as long as you like. You can also do this at 
any time of the day and as many times as you like.  Remember that 
Love is unconditional and there are no controlling factors 
involved here what so ever.  When your lover or mate does the 
same, the connection will be complete even though it is not 
necessarily done at the same moment.  The more you do this the 
closer you will be connected.  I'll let you discover the magic of 
that, but don't be too surprised if you begin to know what he or 
she is about to say even before they say it.
So there it is. I'm sure that many of you will discover new things 
and new ways of sending Love. That's the joy of it.  When your 
heart is open and you are filled and radiant with Love, you will 
know exactly what to do. Just follow that inner guidance and trust 
that Love is capable of working its own miracles. All we need to 
do is give a little.
When I first started with all of this, I used to see Love as a 
golden sparkling light and I would imagine seeing it go exactly 
where I was sending it.  It doesn't matter how you see Love in 
your minds eye, only that you have the intention to send Love.  
I've slowly discovered that using my imagination sends a message 
to some larger part of myself, which then initiates the process of 
opening my heart and sending Love.  But the bottom line is always 
the same: it works.  When you feel that you have sent enough Love, 
stop and continue some other time.  You cannot hurt anyone by 
sending Love, so there is really no reason to be afraid.  Have 

Sending Love to your Children

I have a child of my own and one of the things that I have learned 
is that children can be very rewarding but also they can give you 
challenges that can really boggle the mind.  And if you have any 
buttons, they will push them until something breaks!  That is just 
their nature.  The challenge can be quite frustrating sometimes.  
So in this area I've decided to go into it in more detail because 
they are our future and our life.  If you have children, learning 
to fill yourself with Love and to send them Love will be one the 
biggest blessings of your life.  I know that's a big statement, 
but I've been there and I've seen the results.
Around Easter 1996, my son came back to live with me.  Everything 
was going very smoothly, which is saying quite a lot considering 
he was a teenager. I was spending a lot of my time working on 
different probabilities and shifting around in those 
probabilities, and with moving forward and backward in time.  This 
took an enormous amount of effort so I wasn't working much with 
Love then. I was spending very little time sending Love to my son, 
which turned out not to be the most productive decision I've ever 
made. But it turned out to be quite a learning experience.
The only disagreement we basically had was what time he should 
come home in the evening. This turned into a daily disagreement, 
and finally it heated up to a very short argument, when my son in 
his infinite wisdom decided to run away from home to make his 
I decided to just let it be because I wasn't worried about him 
because I was able to go where he was, using the same method as I 
used with Rudy, our dog.  This worked extremely well. 
Unfortunately my ex-wife went into a panic and decided to visit 
and brought her sister with her.  Sometimes the best intentions 
can do more damage than not, but nevertheless after a few days of 
running around trying to catch up with my son they reluctantly 
decided to go home and hoped that he would come back on his own.
I had not told them about my experiences or my work with Love.  
While they were there I was not able to do the things that I 
wanted to do.  After they left I immediately began sending my son 
massive amounts of Love. I found one of his friends and gave her 
an envelope with some money in it, along with a note that said it 
was fine for him to come home at any time.  Then I got on my 
imaginary train and traveled to where he was and began speaking 
with that larger part of him.  I listened allot, too.  Listening 
was probably the most important part because I began to understand 
what was going on inside him.  I told his larger part that I could 
give him the freedom that he wanted, but that he should come home 
as quickly as possible.  That larger part agreed.  From the moment 
I began sending Love to him, he was home within thirty-six hours.
When he came home I relaxed my rules about what time he needed to 
be home. Actually I left it wide open.  I have to admit that there 
was a part of me that was concerned but at the same time there was 
also a part of me that knew everything would work out perfectly as 
long as I continued to send him Love.
As soon as my son headed out the door, I took 15 minutes to fill 
and surround him with as much Love as I could.  Within forty-five 
days everything changed. My son's behavior changed, our 
relationship changed, the people he was hanging out with changed.  
It was like I was dealing with a totally different person.  It was 
just incredible. It also would take forever to explain all the 
details, but you will see those results for yourself.
My son wanted to hang out with a group of teenagers that I wasn't 
very impressed with or very concerned would be a better way to 
express it. As I began surrounding him with Love, that all 
changed. They rejected him even though they would talk to him on 
the phone and would tell him where they would meet, but when they 
physically saw him there they would leave him behind.  It took me 
a while to figure out all the details about exactly what happened. 
When a person is filled and surrounded with Love we vibrate at a 
different level than someone who is unhappy or angry at the world. 
We do not match.  Look at it from the perspective of the other 
kids.  When he was talking to them on the phone everything was 
fine because he spoke the same language as they did, but when they 
met in person, he would be standing there radiating and glowing 
with Love, and even though consciously they did not see it, they 
felt it.  They would not match and nor  would they want him along 
on their travels.
This caused a bit of confusion for my son because he did not want 
to be in the goody two shoes crowd but was rejected by the bad 
boys.  At least he was never again in any trouble and things seem 
to click for him very well.  Love is magnetic and so he attracts 
people to him very easily and people tend to like him very 
quickly.  Something that you may also notice is that when you are 
filled and surrounded with Love people tend to treat you with a 
lot more respect and kindness, which is how things seem to work 
for him now.
To send Love to your children, just follow the same steps as in 
opening your heart and sending Love to other people.  You can also 
connect to your children using the instructions on how to connect 
with your mate or lover.
Going where your children are and speaking and listening to that 
larger part of them is fairly easy to do. It does take a little 
bit of practice, but everyone can do it.  I have made some changes 
in this over the years. You can take the instructions and record 
them on a tape, which you can listen to while taking that journey.  
You can also use this for many other things: for instance, if you 
want to visit your mate, even if they are out of the country.  You 
can also use this to speak to another person's larger part and 
very easily solve an argument or a misunderstanding. Remember that 
listening is more important than expressing your point of view.  
If you remember that, you will do just fine with it.  If you are 
concerned about privacy, give it up. There is no such thing. It is 
nothing but an illusion.  Think about that and you'll see what I 
mean.  If you're doing things that other people shouldn't find out 
about, it would be best if you take a second look at those 
actions, and be prepared to accept the consequences.  If there is 
Love in your heart you have nothing to hide or be afraid of.
By the way, various governments have been using this method for 
spying for quite a number of years, and it's not even a secret. 
You can go to any library and look up the information.
To start, follow your normal relaxation exercise and then open 
your heart, making yourself as radiant with Love as possible. 
Now imagine that you are inside a bubble of Love.  See and feel 
this as clearly as possible. Let the world drift away.  Begin to 
think about the person that you want to visit. Don't concern 
yourself where they might be. Think about them and with your mind, 
feel your bubble of Love beginning to travel to wherever they are.  
Your bubble of Love is moving faster and faster.  Trust that it 
will take you where you want to go.  Your bubble of Love begins to 
slow down and as it comes to a stop, the bubble disappears, but 
you are still radiant and surrounded by Love.  Use your 
imagination to see the person that you have come to visit. Ignore 
the surroundings. Let them come on their own. Focus only on the 
person.  Is she or he sitting or standing or lying down? Now 
imagine a beam of beautiful golden Love coming from your heart 
going directly to their heart, filling and surrounding them with 
Love, and see Love coming from your heart center into your mind 
and from your eyes traveling to theirs.  Ask a question if you 
like, or ask them to speak with you and listen.  Listen with all 
your focus but do not strain. Feel the information flowing into 
you as thoughts, ideas, and feelings. Each time you do this you 
will be able to hear and understand more clearly.
Continue for as long as you feel comfortable.
When you are done speaking and listening, look at the 
surroundings. Where are you? What do you see, feel, and sense?  
Absorb the surroundings; sense them as much as possible.  Do this 
for as long as you like.
When you are ready to return, surround yourself again with a 
bubble of Love and feel it returning to your present place and 
time.  When you are back, wake up very slowly. If you need to, 
write down everything you felt, heard, and saw. Have fun!
If you are recording this on a tape, make sure to stretch it out 
for at least 20 minutes, not counting your relaxation time, and 
filling and surrounding yourself with Love.  I have found that it 
works best for me after I've gone for a long walk or have done 
some physical exercise. It's extremely important to allow your 
body to go to sleep so that all your focus is on what you are 
trying to do, see, and hear with your inner senses.

Filling your home with Love

At least four to five times a week, I take five extra minutes when 
I'm working with Love to fill my home with Love.  It changes the 
whole atmosphere of the place and creates a very peaceful and 
relaxing environment.  It seems to remove the normal nervous 
energy that is in the air, especially in a city.  As soon as you 
walk out my door and off my property you can immediately tell 
there is a difference.  I have yet to have someone visit and not 
have them mention at some time how peaceful and relaxing it feels.  
This is not the house or the furniture. When you come to visit, 
you are literally surrounded and engulfed with Love.  Even people 
who tend to be on the nervous side sit down and calmness seems to 
come over them.
You can do this no matter where you live, whether it's a house, 
condo, apartment, tent, cave, or a sleeping bag; it doesn't 
It's very easy to do.  Before you finish sending or working with 
Love, imagine that there is a giant valve in your heart that is 
being cranked open and a massive amount of Love is flowing out. 
Visualize this Love going everywhere, filling your home and 
property with Love. Visualize every corner of every room and 
everything that you have being saturated with Love so that the air 
is thick with Love.  That's it, it's that simple.

Filling your work with Love

This can really be very interesting and a lot of fun.  Use your 
imagination on the different things you can do.  For instance, you 
can fill your work area with Love just the same way you would fill 
your home with Love.  You do not need to be at work to do this. 
You can do any of these things from anywhere.
I've had lots of fun with this and have had some fascinating 
experiences.  The most important thing is to open your heart and 
make yourself radiant. Then you can send Love to all the people 
you work with, surrounding them with Love.  You can send Love to 
your customers.  You can fill the entire business with Love.  You 
can also fill the products you sell with Love.  I could easily 
write a whole book on the experiences I've had with sending Love 
to my work, but I'll just let you see those results for yourself. 
Maybe you'll write that book.  It will definitely be a book worth 
reading.  They say money talks, but so does Love, and it talks a 
lot louder.  Have fun.  And you will, especially once you see how 
helpful you can be to other people just by sending them Love.  One 
warning: it might be best if you send Love out beyond the area 
where you work. Otherwise, you may find it will become the local 
meeting area, and your boss might not see that exactly from the 
same perspective as you do.

Filling everything with Love

You can add Love to anything you can do mentally or physically, or 
to anything you touch or think about.  There is no end to it.  
Here's a bit of a list just to get the juices flowing.
Writing a letter? Fill it with Love.
When going for a job interview, why not send Love first?
Fill your home with Love.
Fill your friends with Love.
Send Love to your pets.
Send Love to your plants.
Send Love to your boss.
Send Love to your mate.
Fill everything you have with Love.
Send Love to the animals in the world.
Send Love to the forests, especially the ones that you are trying 
to protect.
Send Love to the people that are trying to cut these forests down. 
You might be pleasantly surprised with the results.
Fill and surround your town with Love.
Send Love into the world.
Send Love to the leaders of various towns, cities, provinces and 
countries. Those results will knock your socks off.
Help other people by sending them Love.
Send Love to your children.
If you are building, carving, painting, or selling something 
you'll find it will be much more appealing to others if it is 
radiant with Love.
If enough people send Love into the world and to other people, 
peace would come about very quickly.
I could go on and on.  I'm pretty confident that you get the 

A Little Extra Love in the Bedroom

It's always nice and very helpful when you have a partner who is 
willing to do these things with you, but I know from past 
experiences that this is not always the case.  So if that is the 
situation you're in, do it anyway for yourself because it will 
make a difference.
Before making Love with someone it would really be helpful if you 
take a few minutes and open your heart and become radiant with 
Love. While you are making Love, slow down and do the exercise for 
connecting to your partner. Continue to open your heart and send 
Love directly into the other person's heart.  Over time you will 
find that your intimacy level will go through the roof, and you'll 
feel more Love than you have ever before.  Even if your partner is 
not interested, it will make a difference for you, and you may 
then notice some changes happening to your partner.
Sometimes really loving someone deeply can be very frightening, 
but what is really frightening is never experiencing that deep 
inner Love.

Creating What You Want with Love

This is very easy to do and will work so perfectly that you'll 
wonder what's going on.  Follow the instructions about opening 
your heart and becoming radiant. Imagine what it is you want to 
create. See it in your mind and feel it in your emotions as if you 
all ready have it. Then send an enormous amount of Love into this 
scene. Do this every second day until it shows up in your physical 
reality.  Some things will literally show up overnight and other 
things may take a little longer, but when you get what you want it 
will be beyond what you expected and it really will be with Love.  
In case you think this is too simple to work, I can make it more 
complicated for you if that makes you feel better.  The old story 
about "no pain, no gain" is nothing but a pile of crap, but if you 
prefer to believe that instead then so be it.  And so it will be.  
It took me many years to learn that and I'm glad I finally got it 
through my thick skull.

Additional i nstructions for sending Love -- April 2004

You must understand that I am growing and learning all the time like everyone else. The instructions in the book are a starting point. A place to start and grow from not the end result. It will never end you will be always shown a better way to send and create with love but you need to start somewhere. Sometimes people want to jump ahead to the more advanced instructions and that is understandable but sending love is like chewing gum you can give someone the basic instructions on how to chew gum and blow bubbles but it is as individual a thing as are people and sending love is a very individual thing. It is by nature a very personal thing or it will become that if you start and give it time to develop into an art as individual as you. So then, how do you know if it is working and if you are doing it in a way that gives you the happy results that you are longing for? Your thoughts and feelings will tell you, when your thoughts are on what you love, you will feel good because the love is flowing and your happy feelings are telling you so.

Your thoughts are most important for your thoughts are directing the flow of love and the flow of energy. So spending time opening the flow is perfect and will do much for you but then if you can keep your thoughts on things that make you feel good you keep the flow going and it will increase. Always look for and think of that which makes you happy, it does not matter if it is real or not. Your feelings are the indicator whether or not love is still flowing through you. So you do not try to control your thoughts but if you feel yourself not feeling so happy then you know you need to switch your thoughts to something that changes your feelings to something happy and the flow of love will continue to flow. Sometimes the fastest way to get the flow going again is to appreciate something and it does not have to be real. You could just sit there and appreciate how wonderful it feels to be loved by everyone and respected by everyone and how wonderful it feels to have an endless supply of dollars to experience all of the wonderful things life has to offer.

If you want something, feel what it would be like to have it and appreciate having it as if you already have it. You will know when you are doing this the right way because you will feel good, happy, love and excitement, these feelings are telling you that you are sending and flowing love and that these things are coming to you. If you feel grouchy and unhappy then that is telling you that the flow has stopped and it is because you are looking at something unhappy, like not having something you want.

Sending love is incredible but you must have a certain desire to direct your thoughts and keep them there where the flow of love continues to flow no matter what else is happening. This will be explained in my last book when the material is complete. Therefore, for the time being it is important that you turn away from anything that brings you unhappy feelings and just look at something happy until you have practiced it more and it becomes your natural state to look at something happy. So if someone is sad and it is affecting you, change your thoughts to a time when they where laughing and happy and think of that time and even make it up, then your feelings will change to happy and what does that tell you? It tells you that you are now flowing love to you and to them.

Spending your time appreciating and making things up to appreciate if you are doing it with enough desire you will become so happy that you won't care if it is real or not; but in time real it will become. Expect it but do not look for it, just keep appreciating anything you can think of, spend your free time looking for things that you can pretend you have and appreciate that you have them. If you feel happy you are flowing love and if you are not feeling happy then you are most likely looking at what you don't have and your unhappy feeling is telling you that either your flow of love has stopped or is now flowing to something that you do not want. As an example if you look at a lack of money you then will feel sad, that is telling you that the flow of love has either slowed down or is now creating a lack of money for you. For a lack of money to love is not negative, it is just an experience and you have chosen it by your attention to it. Send a flow of love and energy to it and love must create it for you for the law of the universe is freedom and you are free to create what you want for yourself. You cannot create this for another but only for yourself so instead open and flow love and think of what it is like to have, endless supply of dollars it does not matter where they come from, only the wonderful feelings you get from it mater for they are telling you that you are flowing love. If it feels so good and happy to you, and the (feeling) appreciating for having it is there, and it feels good, then that tells you love is already creating it for you. You will find that this will take a lot of practice and you will need to want to be happy more then anything else. The more you do this the better your life will get and best of all everyone around you will get the benefit also because the love will be flowing from you.

If something sad happens, remember that feeling sad does not do any good if you have not enough money then feeling that serves no value at all and you might as well think about the opposite and make yourself happy by feeling what it is like to have an endless supply of dollars. The love will flow through you and it will be created for you. Remember feeling it is most important you can visualize it but its your feelings that will tell you whether what you are visualizing is what you want or what you don't want for when it makes you happy love is flowing and it tells you love is creating happy things for you and for everyone near you.

Someone said to me how can I appreciate and be happy when someone just blew up my house? It is not easy but if you would like another house and to never have that happen again then you have only one choice, and what is that? I just explained it to you so make your choice, think of what is and feel sad and create more of it or think of what you want and pretend and appreciate having it so much that it makes you feel happy. The love will flow and you will have it for it is the law of the universe(.) for love will flow, the desire will grow and you are free to grow what you want. Love will not create a negative for someone else but by the law of the creator, it will give you what you want by your feeling attention sending love to it. Therefore, if you would like a broken leg so that you don't have to go to work that will be done.

Of course you could have sent love by appreciating a happy good paying job and had that instead. You can send love to another and good things and only good things will be created for them but that does not mean they will accept them, they still have a choice. Love will give them what they want not what you want to give them nor what you think they should have but what they want. See sending love is a beautiful thing and if you can dedicate yourself to doing it your life will be as beautiful as a fairytale tale and if you do it right it will feel that way even before it has a chance to physically come about.

Visualizing is the reason to open the flow of love but its your feelings that will open the valve. Visualizing on its on will not create much it is a tool we use to engage the good feelings and the flow of love. The good feelings tell us that we are flowing love to what we truly want because we are looking at what we want physically or mentally with visualizing. Visualize something you want right now and appreciate having it even though you do not. If it is making you happy – you are flowing love and it is coming to you; how happy are you feeling? That is how you can tell how big the flow of love is.

If you think for one moment this does not take a lot of practice then your kidding yourself. When you really get the hang of it, you will be so amazed. You won't want to stop doing it.


Most Asked Questions?

Why was this information hidden? Some people are obsessed with power and some 
are afraid of it. That made it easy to hide. Those that are afraid, are so 
because they tend to believe that power corrupts. I do agree it is what 
happens many times but not if the very thing that you are using is Love. Love 
serves to the best of all concerned. It also does not allow anyone to control 
anyone else and at the same time it releases those that are being controlled 
and manipulated by others. If you wanted to be in charge and in control of 
others this information is the last thing you would want those people to 
know. Neither is it going to be of use to you in that way. Just look at who 
has been in charge over the centuries and what they have done with their 
authority. That's why it was hidden, but we with our fears, we help. We are 
always afraid that someone will have something we don't have and it is fear 
that causes us to close our eyes to the very thing that will set us free. If 
you take some time to think about it you will find the reasons for yourself. 
The point is that it does not matter anymore, the information is here and 
it's not going to be hidden anymore. Our new technology has created very fast 
and efficient information transfer that has become unstoppable, unlike in the 
One more word! I stated that you could change someone's actions by sending 
and filling him or her with Love but that is not controlling them. It is 
simply filling them with the Love that they are lacking and in so doing they 
will make different and more loving decisions. Also their actions will come 
from Love rather than from fear, greed and anger, which is where a lot of 
leaders decisions, are coming from. Not only leaders but also every day 
people like us. Love changes them not you! But you are the one that gives 
them that Love for the change to occur. Once you see how well this works you 
will understand why it was hidden and how.

Is the book true or is it from your imagination? The book is true. Things 
happen as I explained them. I did not exaggerate in order to write about it 
but I did leave some things out in order to make it understandable. I have 
had some experiences that go slightly beyond what might be believable and 
felt that it was best to leave them out at the present. It would also have 
made this book to difficult to understand because so many things were 
happening at the same time. The rest of the story you'll find in my next 
book. After you read book 2 you will understand why some things needed to be 
left out in the first book. If you liked this one the next one will really 
make the hairs on your back stand at attention. Or if you don't have any you 
just might, by the time your finished. Just thinking back gives me goose 

How does Love affect those that would do harm to others? Love is an energy 
that sustains all that there is including us. Imagine there is a valve in 
your body that supplies you with Love. As this valve closes it becomes very 
painful. It is something that we have become so use to that we don't even 
know it. But this inner pain is so great that it turns us into people we do 
not even want to be. Those that do things that we consider bad or hurtful to 
others their hearts or that valve is very closed only letting enough in to 
barely survive. It is so painful that they do not have any or very little 
feeling towards others or the environment around them. Its like having a 
headache for so long that you don't even know that it is there anymore and do 
not realize how it is holding you back. It just becomes normal. But it is 
not. This lack of Love will do many things to people and the effects are wide 
spread from illness to hate and all things in-between. This is where knowing 
how to open that valve and knowing how to send Love comes in. Sending and 
filling those people with Love will cause them to change right in front of 
your eyes. Even if they are on the other side of the world, distance does not 
matter. You will also find that by opening this valve inside of you that you 
will not attract hurtful people into your life, they will literally walk 
around you as if you don't exist. There will still be challenges, which are 
part of life.

Are there any side effects to opening that inner valve that opens the Love 
inside of us? The only one that I have come across is that if you have been 
carrying a lot of anger and negative feeling with you. This is what I have 
experienced for myself. At first it will feel so wonderful that it is 
impossible to describe, then comes what I call a flushing of old stuff. So 
what I am saying, is that there will come some old feeling to the surface 
that has been pushed down but this will pass quickly if you just keep going. 
Then comes something even more beautiful, which even now puts tears in my 
eyes from the Love and freedom I feel. Some people feel that I am sticking my 
neck out saying things like this but I know I'm right and soon you will see 
it for yourself.

Why you? Why not someone that is a writer or someone already in the publics 
eye? I don't mean this as an offense just that you have come out of nowhere 
with the most amazing information of this century.  I don't take that as an 
offence I have asked the same question a thousand times myself. I have no 
answer other than I have a reputation for sticking my nose in places it 
seemingly does not belong. But frankly my dear I just don't give a hoot 
anymore. Hope you don't take that as an offence. ?

Are you still playing the lottery? Very very seldom. I have found much more 
interesting things to do with working with Love. There is the odd time I buy 
a ticket but it is either after I have had a dream about numbers or just for 
the fun of it, if the moment strikes me. 

Sometimes when I send Love an overwhelming feeling of Love comes over me, but 
other times I feel very little. Why is that? Why is that?  I don't know! It 
happens to me to. I hope you did not expect me to know everything. I do know 
that it still works even if we don't feel it happening.



I wonder about tomorrow.
But then,
That was yesterday,
Or was it the day before?
So what about tomorrow?
Oh, forget it!  My Love,
Let's just fall in Love again today…

So that is it for now. Thanks for reading and I hope you have 
enjoyed it. I also hope that the information will make your 
dreams come true.
Thank you for purchasing this book and if you have any 
comments please feel free to email me you will find our 
current email address if you visit our website at

It's a lot of work, isn't it? Well, that's the part of life 
that really sucks sometimes. Unless you Love what you do or 
find a way to do what you Love!
E-mail addresses do change so look at the web page for the 
newest one.

I hope that you enjoy the book 
and if you would like to add it to your collection some time 
you can order on line from
Or from your favorite bookstore.

 ISBN 0-595-17287-3  

Thank you!

All my love 
Klaus Joehle

It is my strong suggestion that you read a book called "Think 
and Grow Rich" by Napoleon Hill written in 1960; yes it is about 
money but if you look and read it carefully you will see that 
the principals will apply to all things, Love, Peace, Money and 
so on. Put the principles of sending love together with Napoleon 
Hills principles together and you have an unstoppable winning 
combination. For the law of the universe is simple; if you can 
imagine it then so can it be, and if you are determined for what 
makes your heart sing then so it will be.

My books I give away happily as my part. Although costly in time 
and money, it is a labor of love. If this book is of value to 
you then see if there is something you would like to do, there 
are many options you can choose. You could donate time or money; 
even one dollar helps to cover some of the costs. Another option 
is you can tell your friends; that would help in cutting down my 
advertising costs. You could if you are so inclined; write an 
article on the books and where to get them and submit it to a 
local new age magazine; or even take out a small ad in one of 
the magazines.

The more people see this information and put it to work for them 
the better it gets, not just for them; but also for every one 
around them. This was my gift to you what you do now is up to 
you. It is your life and your world.

Choose that with brings you joy.

All my love to you
Klaus J Joehle

Comments from Readers

Hi Klaus,
I read your book I could not put it down until it was finished.  I liked 
it very much and would give it five stars out of five.  Thank you for 
taking the time out of your life to write it.  

G. S.

Dear Klaus:
I am reading your book right now and thoroughly enjoying it.  I Love 
your writing style.  It is so honest and sincere. Your Love and deep 
respect for people clearly comes across in your writing. I like your 
sense of humor. Humor is important to me as is perspective. 

D. D.

I've read your book today and I am so moved. I missed the directions to 
Danny about how to send Love, but I'm not to the end yet. Wow! Anyway, I 
am so moved.

Dear Klaus: I just had to tell you I recently read your book...I cried 
and laughed all the way through!!
My Love and blessings to you and yours,


Klaus, It is a pleasure that you and your experiences have entered my 
life. I just finished your book and am on the exercises at the end. What 
a life changing experience. THIS is the missing link. That abundance of 
Love, now I know that Thanks. This book is an absolute necessity to get 
out to people.


I just read your Book "Living on Love". I loved it.  It rings very true 
for me.